Greatest English paper ever

My gay english teacher assigned su this assignment to depict the women of the 21st century, she said we coudl go all out, but I think I might have gonne overboard. Im just hoping I dont get owned by her since shes the biggest b*tch. Only good thing was that it was informal and we didnt have to follow actual essay rules<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE </div><div class='quotemain'>Gustavo AgudeloMs. Massa Honors English 2February 6, 2007The Modern WifeFrom the moment the sun rises to the moment it sets, a women’s life is never dull. Preparing breakfast, getting the kids ready for school, going to work, cleaning the house and making this all seem easy is all in a typical days work, or so I am told. In reality, I or any of the people I know have yet to see a female who truly is an asset to society or mankind. Truth be told, they are actually villainous and only have one purpose in life, and that is too please their family but most importantly their husbands. Sadly the last fifty years has given rise to many feminist groups and has established sects were people are brainwashed into believing that that women are equal, which we obviously know is erroneous.Today, most women have the delusion that they are capable of working out of the home and that they are entitled to a certain amount of liberties. However, they do not seem to understand that they belong at home taking care of the children and making sure that all their needs are taken care of. Male children are the future, and because of this the female trash should give their outmost effort to please them. On the other hand, little girls should be taught from their mothers at a very young age how to take care of the home, and how to please a man. What often enrages people is that these lazy beings only have to do these chores, and yet fail miserably at them. In schools today women have a lower drop out rate then men, which shows that women are favoring the girls. This is detrimental to society because none of them will amount to anything, while their male counterparts will. Women who go to school are just wasting their time. Also the house should always be cleaned by them and not by a maid because manual labor of this sort builds character, something they greatly lack.Although raising children is a crucial job for a mother, there is one thing that a woman should be more preoccupied with. Pleasing her husband. This means that they should satisfy all of their man’s needs, including their sexual urges. All women should specialize in the art of seducing a man, and they should always be in great shape so that their husbands are pleased with their figures at all times, especially at night. Seriously who wants to get freaky with someone meaty. Furthermore, women should not be enraged at their husbands when they have intercourse with another women, they should just realize that many women specialize in this art and make a living out of having sex. Just look at Tara Reid. All in all women are just toys, and should always improve upon their old self so that no man is ever bored.Therefore, wife’s today are responsible for much, but they do have the luxury of having all the tools necessary for doing their job close to them. Not to mention that today women are actually given the right to pick who they have a relationship with, something that prior to this time was not true.</div>

Are you kidding me??Are you seriously gonna turn that in and not expect to get sued? lolWOW LMAO

Hopefully I dont, she said we can be sexistIm going before skool and asking here if ist too out there, if she says yes then I guess I wont hand it in

That's beyond sexist... you're going to have a lot of angry girls after you if they read this.

I sent it to a lot of them and they just laughed and said teh teacher was going to kill me. Im so scared cause shes such a B*tch, Im having second thoughts about this

lol thats beyond sexist - but turn it in, anyway.

Wow, have fun getting an F lol.

I don't think schoolwork is an area you want to be joking around with. You know this, so it's really your decision if you want a passing grade or not. You can say because she left it open, this is tolerable but let's face it, it's not.Also, judging from the title and how this started, I would have thought you were plagirizing some paper off the net and contemplating turning it in. Hence the great English paper title.

Your teacher's a woman too...lol.Hand it in, and post her reaction. I am really curious.

oh, and when you read it, and the class is silent...break the silence and go:"Wanna hear a joke..........womens rights"then just go and sit down like it was nothing.

^Which leads to him blowing his chances with any girl at that school. Rumors spread that he's a sexist and leads to him being a closeted homesexual.

naw, just makes him look like a ass

dude, you are definitely not going to gain anything positive out of this. In fact, your teacher might end up talking to your parents. It really wouldnt surprise me. But, if you do indeed turn in this essay, you missed a comma in the 3rd paragraph. After the word "seriously". Also, in the 2nd paragraph after, "Also", and "In schools today".

hahaha why would you ever write a paper like this? that is one of the dumbest things I have ever read

You obviously did this to be funny. This is terrible. I would change it. Start over. This wont help you. If you plan to go to college you will need experience on serious papers

dam man at my school u'd probably get stood down or suspended 4 writin sumthn like dat. if u do hand dis in though let us all know the result!

lmao thats absolutely amazing. im with reppin, turn that gem in.

^idk if im gonn hand it in, I made soem different versions, some that were less offensive because once I read it, it did sound much diffferent than when I wrote it. While writting it I did not think it was that bad

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (tmgbball15 @ Feb 12 2007, 10:54 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}></div><div class='quotemain'>the female trash</div>You're actually considering handing this in? lol :HAHAHA:

Just so you guys know I am not actually like that, I am pro women and I believe in equality. This was just a joke/paper which now that I have read over does sound cruel. Ill just hand in my old paper, the one praising women.

I respect that you wrote how you really felt.

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (LAZY @ Feb 12 2007, 12:06 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}></div><div class='quotemain'>You obviously did this to be funny. This is terrible. I would change it. Start over. This wont help you. If you plan to go to college you will need experience on serious papers</div>I normally write seriosu papers, if not I wouldnt eb in honors. But she said she wanted thsi to be a magazine editorial and that we shoudl make her laugh so yeah

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (tmgbball15 @ Feb 12 2007, 09:59 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}></div><div class='quotemain'>I normally write seriosu papers, if not I wouldnt eb in honors. But she said she wanted thsi to be a magazine editorial and that we shoudl make her laugh so yeah</div>You can turn in the same paper - and get the effect she wanted - just go through the paper and take out the really extreme parts.

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (ReppinTheD @ Feb 12 2007, 10:20 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}></div><div class='quotemain'>You can turn in the same paper - and get the effect she wanted - just go through the paper and take out the really extreme parts.</div>too late I handed it in. Hopefully I dont get in trouble, but w/e

You forgot to mention that nothing that bleeds for that long and doesn't die is ever trustworthy.

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (Justice @ Feb 12 2007, 07:05 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}></div><div class='quotemain'>You forgot to mention that nothing that bleeds for that long and doesn't die is ever trustworthy.</div>hahahaha

lmao. great paper. u should just turn it in

I'd hand it in. Its not the subject that matters its how well you argue it. I think you did a good job on a riduclous arguement!

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (Memphis Fan @ Feb 11 2007, 09:44 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}></div><div class='quotemain'>oh, and when you read it, and the class is silent...break the silence and go:"Wanna hear a joke..........womens rights"then just go and sit down like it was nothing.</div>LOL you actually made me laugh there man.. ive heard the joke so many times but the way u presented it.. well doneand as for the paper .. LOL WTF ARE U THINKING!!! its beyond insulting to women, I find it quite humorous

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (KCX @ Feb 12 2007, 09:52 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}></div><div class='quotemain'>LOL you actually made me laugh there man.. ive heard the joke so many times but the way u presented it.. well doneand as for the paper .. LOL WTF ARE U THINKING!!! its beyond insulting to women, I find it quite humorous</div>Let's be realistic. Women should feel lucky that he spent the time of day to write about them. I mean, the fact that he used a feminine pronoun should be rather shocking.