Meyers doesn't eat snacks during the game

Maybe he should

 

Maybe he should go eat at a sitdown restaurant on the other side of town during games.

 

So that's why he sucks. Maybe he should be taking a nap too?

 

Come on soccer moms, step your shit up! Tina, make the snack list for who's bringing what to which games. Trudy you've got the orange slices for today's game, right? Let's do this shit. Our boys need their healthy snacks to keep up their energy so that can all play like the winners we know they are!!!

BNM

 

Ah shit you beat me to it. Nice.

 

Yeah, that was either an autocorrect error, or a Freudian slip based on all of @Mediocre Man 's John Holmes references.

BNM

 

It must be a slow news day for the team.

 

I can see the scene now:

Opening scene: Meyers Leonard misses open three pointer wide right.

Cut to Meyers losing his position on defense and then getting dunked on by Eric Bledsoe while his back is turned.

Cut to Terry Stotts calling a time out. All players jog into the huddle. Meyers with his head down.

Cut to Dame backhanded slapping Meyers on the arm saying "What's going on man? You're not looking like yourself." Festus Ezeli emerges from behind the bench in street clothes and hands Meyers a Snickers Bar.

As Meyers unwraps it and takes a bite, cut to Dame saying "Better?"

Cut back to Jusuf Nurkic swallowing and says "Better".

Cut to Nurkic dunking on Chriss, launching him into the photographer under the basket.

Hard cut to a black screen with the Snickers logo in it.

 

That's cool but realistically Meyers would actually look like himself, eat a snickers and THEN look like Betty White.

 

<whistle blows, Trail Blazers and generic uniformed other team players jog to the respective sidelines, close up on Blazers' huddle>

Stotts: Okay, guys, we have one possession left. Lillard is going to run a misdirection and Leonard is going to take the final shot!

<cut to Leonard looking terrified, unable to move>

Voice-over: Not going anywhere for a while?

<Lillard and Harkless unwrap and bite into a SNICKERS candy bar>

Voice-over: Grab a Snickers.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

<Office, lots of 'Zurs memorabilia>

Olshey: ...so if we can just clear a little salary space, we can add LeBron James. The trade has been worked out.

Generic Underling: Great! That's the last piece we need to win the N.B.A. championship!

Olshey: I just need you to call around and find a team willing to trade for Meyers Leonard.

<Underling stares at the phone>

Voice-over: Not going anywhere for a while? Grab a Snickers.

 

A big white is a big white stiff

 

Cut this scrub !

 

That was the perfect. Laughed hard. If you would have said another state or country it would have been too far fetched but on the other side of town was just perfect for a laughing fit@!

 

Fuck that. We now know the answer to Meyers becoming an MVP player!!!!!

He just needs a snickers!!!!

 

I would have said he could eat at Applebee's in Sacramento 41 games a year but thought it too complicated.

 

he doesnt do ANYTHING during the game, i dont see why eating would be an exception.

 

Too much exertion!!

 

There's a big Mac for that!