It seems our resident dog has also had his privacy violated. According to the website Fappening 2.0, SlyPokerDog has engaged in numerous accounts of three-way action with a bitch he picked up on MLK Blvd, and his handler Xavier Agustus Octavio. The website released this photo: And promised more leaks to....come. @Denny Crane, official spokesman for the forum RipCity Two, released this statement: "BUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA! Get fucked, bitch!" Upon hearing of this sorid encounter, @barfo was said to be shocked and appalled. "What kind of message does this send; when man and beast meet in some alleyway with some random bitch who he doesn't know? THINK OF THE CHILDREN, SIR!" @crandc, the only female member of S2, was likewise angry at the perverted display. "This is a clear example of misogynistic brutality against women....wait.....uh...." The other members of S2 gathered outside the Moda Center to show their support of SlyPokerDog in his hour of need. "He had NOTHING to do with this leak!" said @MarAzul. "For pete's sake, all he did was pee on someone's leg!" @Jade Falcon, a two-year member in excellent standing, was shocked. "It's those GODDAMN LIBERALS! Leftists are destroying us all!" "It's a disgusting attempt to frame our beloved dog in a negative light," said @Rastapopoulos. "But ultimately, this can all be traced back to TRUMP! I have proof on Twitter!" @EL PRESIDENTE released a statement from his Klan retreat. "At least it wasn't a Black Lab!" "His only crime is being a dog who is sly at playing poker," said @KingSpeed. "The Blazers are clearly better than Golden State." @Mediocre Man was cornered in a parking garage while wearing a cape, with women's lingerie and a battle helmet. When asked his thoughts on the SlyPokerDog scandal, he merely replied, "I know....NOTHING!" Just two hours ago, Fappening 2.0 released further pictures of SlyPokerDog's misdeeds, which include orgies with German Shepherds, spy-cam footage of what appears to be SlyPokerDog with a male Chihuahua, and licking the leg of his handler. As well as a highly inappropriate video of the illicit affair. We tried to reach out to SlyPokerDog by phone, but he merely said "WOOF!" and hung up. We will continue to monitor this story as it progresses.
This was pretty well written Jade. You nailed the quotes by posters pretty well. What would my quote be though?
"You know....that Sly....he's.....oh, look! A tree! Let's climb the tree! Come on, everyone! Climb the tree, climb the tree!" It was actually a telephone pole. Which is why nobody joined you.
Climbing trees is a fun thing to do though. I had my first 3 way after climbing a tree and meeting 2 girls up there. I'll climb a tree any day.
Meh. I tore a GIANT hole in my pants, from crotch to ass cheek, yesterday just from bending over while doing laundry. I'm in no shape to climb anything, much less a tree.
Everyone has probably torn a pair of pants. I'm a small guy and have done it once or twice. Part of life.
Thanks, I appreciate that. But this happened because I'm 5'6" tall, but 230 lbs. I tore a hole in my pants because I'm a fucking fat ass.
Funny enough i was 230 last time i blew the ass out of some pants. Now im 280 and buy shit too big so i dont blow it up. Wheres my fucking quote?
Don't look at me! The press tried to reach out to you via phone, but all they heard was the squeal of a pig, the braying of a goat, and chickens going ape shit. They promptly hung up. But...I imagine that you would be following Sly around Portland with a giant bell, yelling "SHAME! SHAME! SHAME!" SHAME! SHAME!
