These are supposedly actual bumper stickers; * Jesus is coming, everyone look busy. * A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory. * Horn broken, watch for finger. * The more you complain, the longer God lets you live. * My kid had sex with your honor student. * If at first you do succeed, try not to look astonished. * Help wanted, telepath: you know where to apply * I.R.S.: We've got what it takes to take what you've got. * Jesus loves you... everyone else thinks you're an asshole. * I'm just driving this way to annoy you. * Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs. * Keep honking, I'm reloading. * Hang up and drive. * Lord save me from your followers. * Guns don't kill people, postal workers do. * I said "no" to drugs, but they just wouldn't listen. * Friends don't let Friends drive Naked. * If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat? * Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math. * Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies. * Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... till you can find a rock. * Sex on television can't hurt you... unless you fall off.
A couple on an African Safari witnessed a small antelope being chased down by a cheetah. While the kill was about to happen before their eyes, the husband casually remarked, “I’ll bet the antelope gets away.” The wife answered, “If that antelope survives this one, I’ll give you sex every day for the rest of your life.”.........The deadly chase was recorded in the video below;
Used to work with a woman back in the early 90's who always used that "Jesus is coming, everyone look busy." Cracked me up when I first heard it still get a laugh today.
Keep honking, im reloading. Seen that on a few range bags. Always cracks me up. Of course in CA that on your car (I mean truck) would be a hate crime.
^^^^^ these are effing hilarious, sorry 59, I can't believe I missed (didn't see) this classic post thank you and your mom for this gift of laughter!!!!!!!!!^^^^^^^!!!!!!!.....
