Event The Official State of the Union Drinking Game Rules!

Drink once each time President Trump:

1. Says "believe me," or claims to be the "most (something good)" or the "least (something bad)."

2. Pulls out a "some of my best friends are Haitian" line, or in some other painful way denies being racist. Drink twice if he does so and then also talks about building the Wall.

3. Talks priapismically about the Republican tax cut package, or hints at the great relationship he enjoys with the GOP leadership, causing a cutaway to a mortified Paul Ryan or Mitch McConnell, as each struggles over whether or not to bite his glass cyanide capsule.

4. Mentions ExxonMobil, Walmart, Apple or any other corporation that reportedly is investing in America because of Trump's tax package.

5. Uses the "pinchy hands" gesture (up to a maximum of three times).

6. Sniffles with suspicious vigorousness (again, maximum three shots).

7. Pulls a Kobe special and overcompliments his wife in embarrassingly public fashion in the wake of the Stormy Daniels story.

8. Says something is "tremendous." Drink twice if the thing in question was totally not tremendous, e.g., "What a tremendous first year this administration had."

9. Causes a lawmaker to walk out mid-speech.

10. Makes veiled/unveiled threat to North Korea that increases the chance that Guam will be annihilated before the end of the speech.

11. Mentions the 702 Surveillance Reauthorization. Drink twice if you see members from both parties cheering

12. Mentions Jay-Z, Meryl Streep, Michael Wolff, Steve Bannon, "Fake News" CNN or Dianne Feinstein. Double shot for "FBI lovers" Peter Strzok and Lisa Page, "Dicky" Durbin, "Cryin'" Chuck Schumer, or "Crazy" Jim Acosta.

13. Mentions a "witch hunt." Wrap arms with your friend and "collude" to drink each others' shots if the word "collusion" is used instead.

14. Mispronounces "Nazarbayev" or some similar personage. Double shot if he mispronounces Davos or talks about how much the Swiss love him.

15. Mentions in admiring fashion Dr. King, Abraham Lincoln or some other defenseless dead person. Take a vote within your group to decide if Bob Dole counts.​

 

AFTER THE SPEECH:

1. THE VAN JONES RULE: Finish the ENTIRE BOTTLE of whatever you are drinking if anyone on any of the major networks describes the speech as "presidential" or says something along the lines of: "He became president tonight." ​

 

Take a drink when:

• Melania tries to smile, fails
• Trump says “tremendous,” “believe me,” or “no collusion”
• Chuck Schumer scowls
• Trump mentions “China,” “the wall,” or “Radical Islamic terrorism”
• Vice President Mike Pence claps
• Trump mispronounces “infrastructure”
• Trump tries to drink water

Take a shot when:

• Someone in the audience is wearing a MAGA hat
• Trump openly insults a world leader
• Trump brings up “the biggest tax cut in history”
• Trump endorses a conspiracy theory
• Paul Ryan winces

Finish your drink when:

• Trump brings up his inauguration crowd size
• A Democrat boos
• Trump goes off-script
• Twitter pundit calls Trump “presidential”
• Republicans give Trump a standing ovation
• You have to call your representative

Donate to Planned Parenthood when:

• Trump brings up Hillary

 

I was about to say, are you trying to have the deadest game thread ever tonight?

BrianFromWA: Man, that was a nice move by Nurk. Good seeing him abuse Jordan, who's a tough defender.
Platypus: daksfj;rugaleu
BNM# 1124.....4111......sample size....3295455%+
Bones: I made a 17-team, 48-person trade!!11!
Sly:

 

HAHAHAHAHA!

 

forgot to add:

pOst suM ImmuGuZ of YUR HOMAdE zUR's GEeR heer

 

daksfj;rugaleu!!!!!

 

Meyers got a sneak peek! Literally pre-gamed!