http://www.thebrushback.com/previous_issue.htm A friend from another forum found this and sent me a link, go to previous issue to read other articles....it's a really fun read.Some of the best headlines...MLB Reaches Out To Urban Youths With State-Of-The-Art Basketball AcademyHawks Disturbed By Joe Johnson?s Desire To Play For Them<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE </div><div class='quotemain'>Members of the Atlanta Hawks ownership group, as well as GM Billy Knight and several Hawks players, confessed to being slightly disturbed by Joe Johnson?s enthusiastic desire to play for them. ?We?re horrible,? said GM Billy Knight. ?I mean really, really horrible. We?re the laughingstock of the league and we have been for quite some time. That makes me wonder: Why exactly would a kid with so much going for him in Phoenix want to leave it all behind and come play here? Sure, we?re offering him a lot of money, but that wasn?t even the deciding factor. He wanted to come here. He?s looking forward to it. That?s what scares me about this guy.?</div>Royals Rebuilding Phase Enters Rebuilding PhaseYoung Man Overcomes Good Upbringing To Become College Basketball Star :worthy: :worthy: :worthy: :worthy:
Come on...nobody else? This site is hilarious....<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE </div><div class='quotemain'>What?s wrong with that guy? Why would he choose to come here?? asked point guard Tyronn Lue, who was traded to the team last season. ?Nobody comes to the Hawks by choice. You come because you get traded or nobody else will sign you. Doesn?t he realize what he?s getting into? sh*t, I?ve been trying to get out of here ever since they traded me. I even tried tunneling out of the locker room at one point, but I accidentally tunneled into coach?s office by accident. You should?ve seen the look on his face. I played it off pretty good, though. I just told him I was looking for the men?s room.?</div>
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE </div><div class='quotemain'>Air Ball Shooter Pretends He Was FouledDENVER, CO--The Nuggets?Allen Iverson pretended he was fouled after shooting an air ball Sunday night during a game against the Cleveland Cavaliers. Though no defender was in sight, Iverson winced and grabbed his wrist after his wild 3-pointer fell short of the rim, scowling at Joe Crawford for not making the call. Crawford, a veteran official, had this to say after the game: ?That?s an old trick. Everybody does it. Throw up a sh*tty shot and then pretend you got hit in the arm. The only problem was, there was no defender in sight. Why can?t these guys just own up to it when they throw up an air ball? When I make a lousy call I own up to it. Just kidding. What I actually do is insist it was the right call and give the guy a technical foul for arguing with me.?</div> :HAHAHA:
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE </div><div class='quotemain'>OJ Mayo Screams At Fat Teammate In Gym ClassHUNTINGTON, WV--18-year-old basketball phenom OJ Mayo, a student at Huntington High School in Huntington, West Virginia, screamed at his fat teammate yesterday in gym class to pass him the ball during a game of hoops. Mayo later apologized, but said the teammate, Jared Wyman, should not be allowed to dribble the ball up court under any circumstances.?Dude! Give me the ball! Come on!? screamed Mayo as Wyman clumsily dribbled up the court on a fast break. ?Over here! What the F*ck? I?m OJ Mayo! I?m the top high school basketball player in the country! Give me the ball, you fat sh*t!?Finally, Wyman passed the ball over to Mayo, who drove to the basket and executed a ferocious slam dunk while stepping on the forehead of the opposing defender.?Yeah! That?s what I?m talking about!? he screamed as he made his way back down the court. ?Nice pass, Jared! Way to go. Now get back on defense, and if you get the ball again, pass it to me. I promise I?ll pass it right back.?Mayo, who is expected to attend USC next year and then go straight to the NBA after one season, has been dominating his gym classes since he was 13. He readily admits that sometimes he expects too much from his teammates.?I guess I?m just so used to playing on real basketball teams that I can get a little impatient in gym class,? said Mayo. ?But even a non-basketball playing fat kid should know enough not to put the ball on the floor like that. If he?s going to grab a rebound he should be looking up the court immediately and throwing me an outlet pass. I wish our gym teacher would emphasize that, but he?s too busy taking pictures of me with his goddamn camera phone.?Mayo also gets frustrated with other students in his gym class, specifically those who don?t know how to set a proper screen.?God, you?d think it was rocket science,? Mayo said. ?All you have to do is stand there, but most of these kids can?t even get that right. It?s just so frustrating. I should win pretty much every time I step on the floor, but if my supporting cast isn?t good enough, I?m screwed. Let this be a lesson to all the NBA GM?s out there: If you surround me with the right players, I can take you to the promised land. If you surround me with a bunch of fatsos and nerds, I?m just going to be another Kevin Garnett.?Wyman and the rest of the students in Mayo's gym class admit that they?re not in the same league as him when it comes to playing basketball, but they feel they should be lauded for their effort instead of ridiculed for their lack of skills.?Jesus, I wish he would stop screaming at me all the time,? said Wyman, 17. ?I?m doing the best I can out there, and despite what he thinks, I have every right to dribble the damn ball up the court if I want to. So we lose. Who cares? It?s only gym class. It?s supposed to be fun. I don?t see him getting all worked up in algebra class when he flunks a test. I can?t blame him for that, though. Getting good grades is about as useful for him as learning how to execute a pick and roll is for me.?</div>
<u>MLB Reaches Out To Urban Youths With State-Of-The-Art Basketball Academy</u><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE </div><div class='quotemain'>LOS ANGELES, CA - With baseball all but dead in inner cities, Major League Baseball has decided to make an aggressive push to attract urban youths to the game. That?s why they're building and sponsoring a new, state-of-the-art basketball facility in south central Los Angeles. The facility, dubbed ??The Official Major League Baseball Basketball Academy? is expected to attract thousands of inner city kids each year, luring them with basketball while familiarizing them with the Major League Baseball brand name.?This is our way of telling inner city kids that baseball has a hip, urban sensibility,? said Commissioner Bud Selig. ?By sponsoring a basketball academy, we?re showing that MLB cares about city kids and wishes to be a part of the urban landscape.?The academy, a sprawling, 25-acre facility housing a dozen basketball courts and three indoor gyms, will have the MLB logo emblazoned on every surface. Kids who attend the academy will be given official MLB T-shirts and hats, as well as free tickets to select Dodgers games.?This is really a great idea,? said Jimmie Lee Soloman, MLB?s senior vice-president of baseball operations. ?It?s ingenious, if I do say so myself. We?re using basketball as a vehicle to communicate baseball?s commitment to urban areas. This will make baseball more popular among these kids without forcing them to actually play it.?Despite the optimism of the league, the response elsewhere has been lukewarm. Jesse Jackson, who has pleaded with Major League Baseball to reach out to young black kids, applauded the good intentions but questioned the effectiveness of using basketball to sell baseball.?Willie Mays, Frank Robinson, Hank Aaron ? these are just a few of the thousands of blacks who have made an indelible imprint on the game of baseball,? said Jackson, head of the Rainbow Coalition. ?But where are the Frank Robinsons of tomorrow? They are on the city streets of LA, New York, Oakland, and Chicago. They are all over America. All they need is a place to play and receive instruction. But this is a basketball facility. I don?t see how that?s going to help them learn about baseball.?The building of the new facility has generated much excitement among the residents of south central L.A.Home | Previous Issue | Archives | ContactMany are singing the praises of their new best friend, Major League Baseball.But will the plan infuse the big leagues with more African-American talent? Some have their doubts.?I fail to see how this is going to solve the problem of not enough blacks in baseball,? said Hall of Fame outfielder Reggie Jackson, now a member of MLB?s diversity committee. ?We?re supposed to be competing with basketball, not promoting it. If anything, this will probably make matters worse. This is why black people hate baseball. It?s run by retarded people.?But Solomon vehemently defends the league?s diversity record.?Hey, we have plenty of minorities in our league. They may not be black, but they are minorities. You know, Dominicans, Mexicans, Cubans, Venezuelans. Venezuelans! Can basketball boast that? I don?t think so. So we don?t have a lot of African-Americans. They seem to be doing just fine with basketball and football and frankly, they have a lot more respect for Major League Baseball now that we?re providing them with a safe, cheap, and fun place to play basketball. After all, we can?t put a gun to their heads and make them like baseball. If we could, our problems would have been solved a long time ago.?</div>I love this one.
http://www.thebrushback.com/noah_full.htm<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE </div><div class='quotemain'>?I?m definitely going pro,? said a delirious, wild-eyed Noah, moments after clinching his second straight national championship. ?If anybody thinks they?ve seen annoying from me, they haven?t seen anything yet. I?m going to go completely batshit when I get to the NBA.?Noah then walked to center court, removed his shirt, and performed a dance that resembled the mating ritual of the South American water fowl. When he was done, he once again reiterated his desire to be a total spastic retard in the bright lights of the NBA.?Doing it on this level is one thing, but doing it in the pros is going to be a totally different,? Noah said. ?There are a lot of annoying people in the NBA, but eventually, I?m going to surpass all of them. Have you ever seen me during the games? I get all geeked-up over made free throws. I sh*t my pants when someone executes a nice inbound pass. If I ever win an NBA title, forget it. They're going to have to shoot me with a tranquilizer dart. ?Noah says being annoying comes naturally to him and helps give him an edge over the competition.?I think I definitely get into guys? heads the way I act,? Noah said. ?I?m always pumping my fist and shouting things, and there?s always spit and sweat flying everywhere, and if I was on the other team I?d just want to punch me. Sometimes I just want to punch myself. Hey, maybe I should try that. After my next big basket I?ll just wallop myself upside the head. At the very least it will make everybody else in America extremely jealous.?</div>and later<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE </div><div class='quotemain'>?Get this f*cking kid away from me,? Packer told coach Billy Donovan, as Noah grinded against him. ?I?m serious. This isn?t funny. Tell him to stop. That?s it. I?m leaving. Sorry, but I have better taste in women than that.?After Packer left, Donovan defended his star player.?Joakim means well, he?s just a little retarded,? said Donovan, his arm around Noah?s shoulders. ?Do I consider him annoying? Not really. I just think he?s a young kid with loads of passion and he?s unable to keep it bottled up. He?s going to be a great player on the next level, and I predict he?ll be known more for his talent than for his behavior. Right, buddy? Joakim? Joakim? Please stop biting me.?</div>
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (Something-To-Say @ Apr 6 2007, 03:21 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}></div><div class='quotemain'>http://www.thebrushback.com/noah_full.htmand later</div>S-2-S, you just made my day.
BAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAhAhAHAHAHA!!!! That Noah one seriously had me in tears. :HAHAHA: :HAHAHA: :HAHAHA: :HAHAHA: :HAHAHA: :HAHAHA: :HAHAHA: :HAHAHA: :HAHAHA: :HAHAHA:
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE </div><div class='quotemain'>?Dude! Give me the ball! Come on!? screamed Mayo as Wyman clumsily dribbled up the court on a fast break. ?Over here! What the F*ck? I?m OJ Mayo! I?m the top high school basketball player in the country! Give me the ball, you fat sh*t!?</div>
http://www.thebrushback.com/Archives/lebro...esslef_full.htmLebron James Buys Cavaliers, Trades Self To Lakers
From May 05"NBA Playoffs May Be Interrupted By Next Ice AgePHOENIX--According to sources in the commissioner?s office, league officials are concerned that the NBA playoffs may be interupted by the next ice age. An NBA postseason normally lasts around 8 million years, and coincedentally, the next ice age is expected to occur in 8 million years. When reached for comment, David Stern played down the issue.?It?s really a longshot for the next ice age to occur before the end of the playoffs,? he said. ?We?ve done the math, and we think we?re pretty safe. The next ice age is actually supposed to occur in about 8.2 million years. That being said, we may start to feel a little chilly if the last round goes a full seven games.?
