Because I am mostly fricking stuck in bed this next week, I am going to do a marathon of the Batman Movies. I will write a review on each of them. Cause I am fucking bored and it sounds fun.
Make sure you watch the Ultimate Edition of Batman V Superman. Much better than the theatrical. Most people don't know this.
First Review: Batman -1966 Spoiler Holy first feature film Batman! 1966's Batman was the first motion picture, a follow up of the 60's tv show. Before that there were radio serials and two black and white TV serials in the 40's. Still, by many, the 1960's show and film were considered the original by many. The 50's and 60's comics saw Batman move away from the norish air of darkness and violence and towards a whole heartedly family friendly affair. One must not go into watching the film in hopes to find it serious. It is a fun ride, and if it is watched in such a manner it can be taken for the parodic misadventure it is. Batman dispenses with the vigilante bent on avenging his parents death. In this film we hear nothing of Thomas and Martha Wayne. The movie begins by introducing it's characters, a common practice at the time. It previews the Villains, with each getting caught coming out of the bushes, like some usual suspects montage. The film indeed contains crime caper genre as well as the western, the comedy, perhaps parsed with drama….overdramatic to be exact. It uses the devices of Narration and orchestra music throughout to highlight the adventure portions of the film, especially when the dynamic duo are travelling in vehicles. Batman and Robin are sent quickly to help a captain in danger. The writer of this movie seemed to have some obsession with water, as much of it takes place out at sea, at the docks where the gangs hideout is, and surrounding dehydrated people, which we will get too. Batman and Robin are looking for the captains yacht in the Batcopter.This movie introduces more bat vehicles than any I have seen. And while it is fun to see them, several feel unnecessary and merely thrown in just because. Robin foresees gps, as he uses a contraption meant for such, though it is long before its time. Batman goes out of the copter and descends the batrope...yes every item batman or robin touches and uses are conveniently labeled Bat -" ". And, I mean everything. Batman gets lowered into the water and a shark attaches to his leg. Thank goodness for bat shark repellant! And, if it is not good enough that it exists, Robin delivers it by hanging upside down on the ladder in some homage to his acrobatic background. After surviving the rubber shark attack, it is back to the mansion which seems to serve as the police headquarters too. We hear later that one exists but we never see it. We are welcomed with a leave it to beaver moment as Alfred and Aunt Harriet welcome them outside the mansion with robotic smiles and waves. We learn quickly that Batman and Robin are no longer masked vigilantes as they were introduced as in the early comics. An officer is nice enough to highlight this. No, the dynamic duo are now deputized officials by the law, and heaven to betsy what would they do without them. Robin is sure to give the we support the police spiel, as the dynamic duo seem to already be tricked by catwoman in poor disguise as Miss Kitka. Batman is the 1960's policeman on the corner ready to be a hero and help you at a moment's notice. Robin is a juvenile All American do gooder. It seems he should be at the malt shop throwing out golly gees and eating burgers and fries. certainly seem more like guys in pajamas than heroes, as Mrs Kitka (Catwoman) asks them to take off their masks. We can't says Robin with an eye mask that would easily allow him to be identified, they would know who we are. She is not from around here replies Batman, it's all good! It is interesting that the writers have Catwoman disguise herself as a Russian with all the cold war stuff. Russian Villains is to easy though understandable. Though the real villains are perhaps more confusing. A litany of Batman's greatest foes have come together to form the United Underworld. Batman has to ask the commissioner which super criminals are at large? Let's check the closed circuit tv to find out. How doesn't he already not know that his greatest foes are on the loose? The Penguin and Catwoman who seem to take turns running the operation and Joker and Riddler who remain mostly in the background. The Riddler would be near non existent if it weren't for the riddles that continue to show up throughout, though we don't see the riddler sending them. The Joker seemed more annoyed than jovial. He didn't seem to be in a laughing mood, and it is understandable. The writers gave him few lines and fewer schemes. All four of them together for the first and only time on film...not just Gotham is in trouble, but the whole World. Read all about it. Though, I have to say it never feels like there is any real danger. And...the pirates. We can't forget them. Holy Long John Silver Baman! A gang of stooge sailor/pirates that work at the behest of the United Underworld baddies. What the hell is with the nautical theme. I almost wonder if the writer/director of this film is related to Tim Burton. Each of the United Underworlds schemes are crazier and more unrealistic than the last. Sicking a shark on batman. Pinning the duo to a buoy by magnetizing it and shooting torpedoes at them. Thank god that porpoise jump in the way of that last torpedo to save them. How noble. How confounded is more like it. We find that the government has sold a war surplus submarine to P.N. Guin as Batman calls the Navy where an officer whistles as he looks into it. "We haven't done anything foolish have we?" "Selling a war surplus submarine to someone who doesn't even leave their full home address...good day sir," responds Batman before hanging up. At times it is hard to differentiate who is more inept, the police, president, and military, or the villains. The Villains are bumbling, but inept hmm. Kidnapping Batman is next...on giant flying umbrellas that seem uniquely designed for each of the villains. Is this Tim Burton's Mary Poppins or what? Talk about unrealistic, but hey… while it is happening Robin is posted in the Batmobile for a stakeout. So, Robin never gets to drive and Alfred is wearing a zorro esque eye mask under his glasses? And, here we have a way to easily tricked Bruce Wayne. He might want to be checked for night blindness. Not to mention hot off the presses, everything seems to be printed and broadcast on the news immediately as it happens. Then there is a dehydrating machine to remove all of the water from their pirate henchmen, turning them into powder, only to rehydrate them after scheming Batman and Robin to take the Penguin to the Batcave. Batman, it is totally the Penguin. I know Robin he is trying to trick us, let's let him do? The Penguin? No, I'm the missing captain dude Scmidlapp. Plastic finger tips covering my fingertips? Nothing to it. After knocking out the Penguin with Bat gas and waking him with yes, Bat wake once they get to the batcave, he conveniently uses the drinking water to rehydrate the henchmen. Of course the dynamic duo beat them. Then oh no, the united bad guys have dehydrated the whole security council (the U.N.) at the United World Headquarters. Batman and Robin ultimately find the remains, color coded powders in test tubes on the bad guys sub which his forced to surface after Robin hits with the bat ray. Zap Zap. They fight and tie up the villians and search their sub which looks strangely like one of Austin Powers Shag pads. Not to the mention the half naked ladies dancing on the roof towards the beginning of the film. A real 60's party vibe. Yeah baby yeah! They are through much work try to rehydrate the security counsel with the whole world watching and listening on tv and the radio including the president (suposedly Johnson) who humorously sits hidden behind his chair with his dog like a villain, perhaps Dr Evil if he were from Texas. The Dynamic Duo wearing aprons, in a strange humpty dumpty esque experiment, restore the security council at the United World headquarters, as the commissioner, president, and world yell, Success, Success!." Don't make me get the hose ...yes they use a water hose and spicket to do so. But, they are anything but united. They continue to argue and bicker. Batman issues hope they will meet at an understand and instructs Robin that they will escape inconspicuously through the window across the room, using their bat ropes...and not through the door directly behind them. For all the nonsense the movie is fun. For all the bat vehicles - the Batmobile, Bap Copter, Bat Boat, and Bat Cycle with a sidecar that detaches into a go cart so Robin can coast to his side of the helicopter. The Bat gear and the zany visual fight cues- Whap! Biff! Bang! Thwack! Bap! Sploosh. Batman's inability to dispose of a bomb. "Some days you just can't get rid of a bomb." Why does Batman and Robin need directions posted about how to get to the batcave behind the hidden bookshelf via the batpole? The red phones that are continuously connected to both the local and highest levels of office. It doesn't get better than, " A Russian is going to slip on a banana peel and break her neck.""In the words of Commissioner Gordon, the angles of that rectangle are too monstrous to contemplate.Though that's more like a hexagon or something I suppose. The detective work is terrible bordering on preschool. We get to learn lessons in science, history, math, and perhaps, grammar. It would have been better it is was a bit more Dragnet and bit less Leave it to Beaver. The puns are delicious is taken accordingly. The movie is quintessential parody and satire. Adam West plays a better Bruce Wayne then he does a Batman. A suave smooth billionaire playboy. He seems to have the innocence of Christopher Reeve's Clark Kent. He is easily tricked by women, but hey the richest man in gotham has to have a weakness. West is the first Batman/Bruce Wayne in my book. The Living End .
https://www.google.com/amp/s/movieweb.com/amp/batman-1989-steven-seagal-tim-burton/ Steven Seagal as Tim Burton's Batman? It Could Have Happened "You have to make Bruce Wayne work, because Batmanis, for the most part, going to be a stunt guy, or it's going to be somebody running around in a costume in long shot. You don't need the martial arts expertise of, say, Steven Seagal or somebody like that because you can fake all of that kind of stuff. Seagal was one of the people that was suggested to us."
that glass peeper needs to be soaked in a glass of rum on occasion...movie sounds like just the ticket! You can always rub tung oil into the peg leg while you watch...kill two parrots with one musketball they say! Pirates were actually saying "Ho Ho Ho" long before rappers stole it
Fun Facts About Batman 1966 The Movie was originally supposed to come before the show. Excecutives didn't want to take the risk. Burgess Merdith quacked because he hated cigerette smoke They had to replace Julie Newmar for the movie. They cast Lee Meriwether after they started filming...which is why she isnt in the first scene with her fellow villians on the sub. Frank Sinatra wanted to play the Joker It's the only Batman feature film under 2 hrs Burt Ward who played Robin had a large penis and it was hard for them to hide it under his thin costume. It ruled the box office for a week making twice its cost in that time There was supposed to be a sequel but it got cancelled
