OT "I'm Dealing With A Few Transgender Issues"

No fucking way is a Jewish born atheist wearing a crucifix.

 

Always the marginalized people being told to be understanding. Ask straight white males to be understanding and get accused of wokeism, political correctness, critical race theory or being a snowflake.

 

Bull. As a mod, I'm certain you're well aware that many folks in here share many various encounters - pro, con, indifferent, etc. - they experience on any given occasion. It's all part of the dynamic of this forum. I think I adequately explained my feelings and hopes on the matter. Please don't try and read into something that isn't there. Thanks.

 

Jerkish response. You stay classy.

 

See above. Problem solved.

 

Apparently it’s an extremely cold day in hell today, but I tend to side with ABM on this one. I have NO problem whatsoever with transgendered people, LBGT people, straight people etc (just assholes in general). But with more and more “transgendering” (for lack of a better word) going on, it CAN be confusing. Especially if you come into a town like Portland from a state like Tennessee (no stereotyping intended). Transgender people are practically ubiquitous around the PDX area. I can only assume that some are either at the beginning of the transition, or smack dab in the middle. Again, it can be very confusing. And as much as I would honestly like to respect their choices and address them by their preferred honorific, I find it easier to just react to them as I would pretty much anyone else; gender neutral, thank you for the service. That way no one is offended if I don’t get it right. All that said, respect and understanding are a two way street. Some transgendered people are almost deliberately testy and confrontational. Again, I get that. They’ve spent a lifetime pondering their identities, their sanity, etc, all the while being “targets” for a narrow minded society. That would make me cranky and defensive too. But by being a rude and defensive, that individual that ABM encountered only dug the chasm deeper. It should have been a teaching moment by that transgender individual. Oh, I’m sure ABM “learned” something, if only not to make assumptions. But it could have been so much more than it was. It takes two to tango (or tangle) and the individual ABM met sounds at least as much unenlightened as they felt ABM was. If the transgendered want understanding from a society that “doesn’t get it”, they are going to have to try and understand “our” ignorance and help “us” work through it. Seems to me the individual ABM met failed too………

 

like I said..if a waiter, waitress, hotel clerk or anybody is rude or snarky that's not cool...but if someone corrects my pronouns and addresses it...I'll be the one apologizing...then I'll probably not leave much tip or give them repeat business.....I'd definitely apologize if called out for mistaking someone's gender and try and learn a lesson in assuming these things...the title of ABM's thread is about trying to figure it out...not blowing it off and lumping all transexuals into one snarky person's camp

 

Thank you. You nailed my sentiments exactly. Cheers.

 

Good points and I pretty much agree. There's a person in our neighborhood that we frequently pass on our walks who is, by appearance, biologically female but by attire and hair style seems to prefer to present as male. I have no way of knowing whether "she" is a female who is a cross dresser simply because "she" likes to dress as a male from a style standpoint, is a lesbian but still considers "herself" to be female, or identifies as male and "he" is at some stage of making that transition. Nor do I care in the least about "his"/"her" personal choice with respect to any of that. We say hi and have casual interactions as we meet and that's the extent of it. But we have these damned things in the English language called "pronouns" and it's really difficult to converse with someone without using a gender-specific pronoun. It's becoming a thing in many government/corporate emails for a person to include their choices of pronouns in their contact information. Maybe we will reach a stage where we develop a set of gender-neutral pronouns (the use of "they" or "it" really doesn't cut it in my book). Maybe we'll all start wearing nametags with our pronoun choices on them. Until something like that happens, I think that even with the best of intentions we're going to make mistakes and people on both sides of the gender identity divide are going to need to show a little grace.

 

We’re worried about fucking pronouns now? Jesus Christ.

 

People learn about pronouns all the time...see Meyers Leonard....there are some pronouns you just don't want to use this day and age ..travel in asia and there are many short haired girls who could be mistaken for boys and boys who could easily be mistaken for short haired girls...the idea is not to make assumptions.....I used to use endearing pronouns like sweetie but those are risky as well coming from an old guy...I adapt to language all throughout my life....it's a good thing especially when addressing strangers...

 

Kind of a funny aside: I recently dined at a lovely Seattle restaurant (Ivar's Salmon House) with my wife and extended family. I said, "Thank you, Ma'am") to the young lady who brought me a spoon or such. My Niece looked over and humorously scolded me saying that I should have called her "Miss" as she was probably in her twenties. Hence, way to young to be called a Ma'am. Yeesh, yet another Rodney Dangerfield moment.

 

Please don't trigger me.

 

I always try to treat people with courtesy and respect. The world is too soft today though.

 

In my opinion criticism of political correctness shows a complete misunderstanding of what political correctness really is and gives that person another excuse to stick a thumb in the eye of someone who knows the difference between their ass and a hole in the ground.

 

I have no idea what that means.
But to elaborate on political correctness, it's nothing more than good manners when dealing with as group such as Blacks or Native Americans. What group doesn't want respect? The Trump cult demands respect but doesn't want to give it and that's the very definition of greed.