I ran into a situation a couple of days ago with a neighbor that turned concerning and I'm trying to figure out what to do. There was a point where he said he didn't like me and "I'm not a person you want mad at you. I guarantee that" while smiling. At one point, he actually growled like an animal -- no exaggeration -- while I was answering him about something. He was visibly shaking once. He made weird insinuations, again, while smiling, that I didn't have a job and didn't own the property I've lived on since my family bought it back when he still was a little boy 50 years ago. He went off on a rant at another point that "liberals like you are causing all these problems." He said he and his girlfriend talk about me and he doesn't like that I don't acknowledge them or say hi when I'm on my daily run. He said I was "strange." He was drinking during all of this, though he said it was his first beer, but I thought the yelling and swearing when I never raised my voice, brought up politics or (I don't think) insulted him was extreme. I'm also concerned because he's recently mentioned on a video on his girlfriend's Facebook that he's carrying a concealed weapon and back in 1990 he was charged with harassment, burglary, criminal mischief and criminal trespass, although I think the charges must either have been dropped or he got a very good plea deal. This isn't the first time this has happened, but it's the first time he's acted this belligerently. He was drinking when he approached me under a similar premise a couple of months ago, too. And, both times, he's sought me out -- I've left him alone except on an occasion when I caught him throwing his garbage onto my property for about the half-dozenth time and asked him not to do that anymore. Equally bizarre to me is that he claims the reason he's angry with me is because of how I cut my grass. Not the time I cut it or how loud it is or blowing cuttings into his yard. He's not saying I'm going on his property -- his recent surveyor confirmed the boundaries our surveyor found 50 years ago. He even showed me the pins asking me not to mow on his ground, to which I agreed. No, he's upset because he said his mower makes his yard look better than mine. I'm not really buying that's the reason, because the area in question is three-to-four-tenths of a mile off any paved road and behind an abandoned trailer, junk-filled metal enclosure and a weed-covered section of his property. I asked him why the way we each mowed our adjacent sections would be more noticeable than those things and he started yelling about something else and changed the subject. When he first showed me where our property lines came together to tell me not to mow on his part, I said it was his and I'd certainly respect his property. However, he also had to reciprocate. He wasn't just mowing slightly over the line like I was. He was mowing a quarter-acre of mine that he admits he knows isn't his and that I already mow and asked him not to mow. He's since continued to mow slightly over the line by a few feet, and I haven't made it an issue. Adding to the oddity -- while he just moved into his acre 15-20 years ago after getting the property in a divorce from an 18-month marriage to the granddaughter of the prior owner -- he's known me for 40 years. He and his brothers and I played church league softball together. We watched each other's homes when the other was away. When his Trump sign kept blowing off his property, I'd put it back for him, even though I wasn't a Trump supporter. Increasingly, though, his behavior has become more and more adversarial, it seems since the election and since I told him not to throw more garbage onto my property. My property surrounds his on three sides and he's dumped garbage on all three. I can't erect a fence because the area about which he's complaining now needs to remain open because of a water authority right of way. I currently don't have visual or audio evidence of his threat or strange behavior because it came completely out of the blue as I was walking in my yard. There is no local police department, because it's a rural area, so the closest police are the State Police 35 minutes away. And, by my state's laws, he doesn't fit the requirements for a protective order. I'm at a loss about how to do this. I'd like to give the police the heads up but not something that would require them to question him because I'm concerned that would escalate things and the next time he got drunk or had a bad day, he'd go out and shoot my pets or break into my house while I'm at work or just try to shoot me. If I don't let them know, though, if he makes an even bigger threat or attack next time, the police might dismiss it as a first-time neighbor dispute. Anyone have any experience with a similar situation to this?
He’s crazy, probably suffering from schizophrenia to some extent. You can’t talk people like that down they don’t listen and even if you manage to it’s only a temporary band aid until they need someone to take a problem out on and you happen to be the one walking by. Put a few of those wifi cameras up around your property in the most strategic spots you can think of. They can alert you whether you’re home or away. Document everything. Get a weapon to protect yourself and learn how to use it. No matter how unlikely, it could come down to being you or him getting hurt or even worse. Better him. Fuck that guy. I’m a surveyor and deal with these types of dipshits all the time. The most hysterical irate ones generally end up being wrong once lines are established, which is hilarious because they are usually the ones who payed for the survey to “get back” at their neighbors somehow.
Thank you. Ironically, he's the one that showed me the exact position of the pins again since the old fencing got removed when the sewer lines were installed. I usually put a raven feather down the hole with the pin so I can see where I'm mowing so I don't go onto his ground. He told me he's going to keep running over those, which I said was OK. It's a bird feather. I forgot to mention, as he stormed off the other day, he yelled back over his shoulder at me that "none of this would be happening if you just let me mow down there." Now, I don't know if "this" means him harassing me or if something else is going on with him, like maybe he's told people he owns it and has to figure out a way to explain why I maintain it and he doesn't, or what or even if mowing down there is the real issue. I tend to agree with you that there's some kind of mental breakdown or substance situation at play here, but his instability makes me unwilling to approach him to find out if he needs help.
Whoa. I feel bad for you. Sounds like a ton of unneeded stress and bullshit. 1. Talk to as many people as possible about this in the nicest and friendliest way possible. The goal is to make allies. You mentioned a church league. Is he an active member of a church? Are his brothers? Can you get a hold of his brothers? You might want to approach his brothers and/or his pastor and say you're not sure how it happened but you and him have gotten on the wrong foot and it bothers you. Invite them over to a BBQ at your place and ask them to invite their brother over. Keep the alcohol to a minimum but there is a good chance things could improve for the price of a steak dinner. Also maybe the brothers saying you're a good dude will be enough to mellow him out. 2. If that doesn't work or is not possible, if you have a local sheriff and that is an elected position, take the sheriff out to lunch, make a donation to his reelection fund, then explain the situation. 3. Get cameras. Some visible, some not. 4. Talk to a lawyer about all of this. 5. Talk to a private investigator about this and have them check the dude out. 6. Can you sell a sliver of your property to make this someone else's problem? Maybe you can make an offer to buy some of his land? Maybe he's having financial problems.
Really sorry to hear you're going through this....I lost a great neighbor to some real hard to live next to young folks who are loud, trash the property, have no respect for the folks who've lived in peacce and quiet on the mountain for decades....I had issues with them for several years and finally they took the hint. It was rough dealing with it for the first few years. If the guy threatens you, get a restraining order. I've moved from places I loved in the past over neighborhoods going to shit before. I did end up building a tall fence on my property line. That helped.I certainly wouldn't introduce weapons into my life over it. Maybe a taser for emergency or a guard dog for the border.
Sly, I'm not sure if he still goes to church. He copies and pastes vague stuff on social media about being a good Christian, but the church we played softball for was I think closed for a time shifting between pastors and I've never seen him or his family associated with the church since. I don't go there and only played for them because my church didn't have a team and a lot of my friends went to his; the league allowed people whose churches weren't in the league to play for someone so long as they attended church somewhere. His older brother and I always had a good relationship and I could say something to him but we haven't talked in a couple of years. His younger brother isn't a real option because his wife (and my ex-gf from elementary school) doesn't like me because she considers me a liberal, although I've never talked politics with any of them, so they're just making assumptions.
Bud Light. He threw a whole plastic garbage bag full of Bud Light cans on my property a few years ago. I didn't say anything to him about it until it happened several more times. I just took the cans to recycling and got paid for them.
If none of that works and he is scary crazy, invent a common enemy. Get some weird crap and dump it on your property. Tell him you've seen someone creeping around both of your places and now this creep has dumped crap on your place. Tell him you're getting cameras and you'll be happy to share the camera feed with him. (Don't share all your cameras with him, lol.)
Well, someone in the middle of town has a bunch of goats. I don't think they have pigs. Would that do?
Even if you haven't talked to the brother in a while, you were friends and he might know something about this asshole's mental state.
The most shocking part of this whole thing was that the crazy dude was a Trump voter, who woulda guessed?
Damn. I'm sorry you're going through that. There's been some good advice shared here. I had a neighbor of 20 years go nuts as well. Sounds very similar. Drugs were involved and he actually wound up getting hauled off to the state hospital because he was deemed so dangerous. Sounds very similar to the stuff your neighbor is doing. Document everything and protect yourself is great advice.
Is there an odor coming from his property that smells like cat piss? If so, he may have a meth lab cooking, and he wants to keep you away. This really sounds like he has a drug use problem. There is only one thing that scares away bad neighbors. Cameras. They know how to work the legal system, and will magically produce witnesses that will lie to make you out to be the bad guy. Your only real protection is cameras, lots of them. There is a reason Leo's now wear body cameras. As a side note, check your local and state regs on where you can use cameras. Some areas require you to have permission to video other peoples private property. Also, even on your own property, you may not be allowed to record their voice without their permission.
Get lots of cameras. Buy a gun. Avoid him at all costs. Keep a journal of your interactions and maybe record any future conversations. If you need to file for a restraining order you will want a paper trail. if he threatens you again, consider calling the police and have a recording.
Sometimes the only way to deal with crazy is to be more of a lunatic. Even if it’s not in your nature. There’s a good chance he’s just fucking with you and a bully. Losers like that can smell blood in the water if they’re dealing with a pacifist. I’d get an arsenal of weapons. Maybe light off some M-80’s in the wee hours of the morning. Get a couple aggressive dog.
