OFFICIAL AROUND THE NBA: NOVEMBER 2023

Spurs are going to give Portland a fight for lottery seeding

 

Hopefully the NBA gives us the top pick this time

 

or they’ll give the Spurs another twin towers title team

 

...does not appear to be

 

Ah, the question on everyone's lips: Is this a jest? But, dear reader, brace yourself, for the improbable tale of a court prince and an Instagram enchantress bonding over the enigmatic allure of pinochle is as real as a unicorn sipping tea. The recent revelation surrounding Anfernee Simons and Aaleeyah Petty has left me scratching my head.

First and foremost, one cannot help but chuckle at the sheer absurdity of the situation. Is this a joke, one might ask? The juxtaposition of the hardwood court and the card table seems almost comical, like a misplaced joker in a deck of playing cards. However, my sources on the Pelicans janitorial staff insist that this is no jest; the whispers in the locker rooms are as serious as a heart attack.

It is essential to peel back the layers of this peculiar onion to understand the roots of the purported relationship between Anfernee Simons and Aaleeyah Petty. According to those who claim to be in the know, the genesis of their connection lies not in slam dunks and Instagram glamour but in the quiet corners of dimly lit rooms where the shuffle of cards and the clinking of poker chips reign supreme.

The game of pinochle, that venerable pastime that has withstood the test of time, appears to be the unlikely thread weaving this narrative together. It is said that Anfernee and Aaleeyah share a deep and abiding love for the game, transcending the confines of their respective professions. It's almost as if they discovered a secret portal to an alternate reality where the dribble of the basketball transforms into the slap of cards against the table.

Picture this: the dim glow of a single overhead lamp casting shadows on the cards laid out before them, their eyes locked in silent communication as they strategize and bluff in the timeless dance of penuckle. The camaraderie born from the shared thrill of victory and the agony of defeat builds a bridge between their worlds, one that allegedly led to a more intimate connection outside the realm of penuckle prowess.

Now, let's journey down the rabbit hole of pinochle's origins, a game that emerged from the fertile grounds of Europe like a mischievous imp. Its roots, intertwined with the mists of time, lead us to a world where courtly intrigue and card games danced hand in hand. Pinochle, with its Germanic origins, became the toast of the town, a game of strategy, cunning, and perhaps a touch of enchantment.

The incredulity surrounding this unexpected revelation is palpable, reminiscent of a barn dance where the attendees suddenly break into a tango. It raises eyebrows and elicits laughter, but beneath the surface, there may be a deeper tale of connection and shared passions.

In the grand tapestry of life, where the unexpected often takes center stage, perhaps the love for penuckle has proven itself a more formidable matchmaker than the most seasoned of cupids. So, while the world contemplates the seemingly surreal union of Anfernee Simons and Aaleeyah Petty, it may be wise to remember that love, like a card game, is a game of chance where the most unpredictable hands sometimes emerge victorious.

 

Kinda cool how Udoka likes hiring Portland guys as assistants. There’s been several in both Boston and now Houston.

 

I always forget that Tiago Splitter lived off of Burnside for a while and only ate at potato champion.

 

Are you trying to imply that anything regarding Ant in that video is a questionable decision? You sound really old if you’re going to mark this as a “questionable decision”…or you weren’t very fun in your early years.

He was put in that spot and played it off with a witty answer that had me legitimately dying of laugher at my cubical with multiple coworkers checking in on me to see if I was laughing or crying. What are you suppose to do when you’re asked that question on camera? He clearly even says “yo this this a big ‘pause’ question though”, meaning he knew any answer to that question is going to sound weird.

That video ends up on the internet regardless if he answers or walks away, because it’s just a kid trying to get views and he’s going to post anything with a notable NBA player in it. Walking away would’ve been majorly lame. But I’m also closer to Ant’s age than you are, so it might just be a generational thing. I find it hard to believe that the dudes growing up in your generation wasn’t also making gay jokes and dick jokes when you were in your 20’s though.

Dame popped up on an IG live with Ant when he was dating his ex and asked him on live “now that you got a little money, you gonna blow her out?” after his extension. Like, it’s just jokes man lol. But maybe this was the questionable decision that got him traded to Milwaukie ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

 

should we tell him?

 

It most likely will be us, Detroit, Washington and San Antonio. I think Washington will be hard to beat. They are abysmal.

San Antonio should be better than they are, but they are lowkey tanking on purpose. They’ve been “experimenting” with Sochan at PG when they have a legitimate PG in Tre Jones.

 

I laughed my ass off too but I was also a little shocked that he went with it. I didn't say it was a bad decision to make that comment... just questionable. Like if I were a company that had an endorsement deal with Ant and I saw that I definitely wouldn't call his agent or try to terminate the deal but it would give me a little pause.

There is a pretty crazy/hilarious episode of Workaholics that addresses the same thing. I'm not a person who is up tight but I'm also not oblivious to the fact that there are up tight people out there and some of them could be people that impact opportunities for Ant. Thus not a bad decision just one that is a little questionable.

 

Bring back Ed Davis?
https://theathletic.com/5078543/2023/11/21/nba-veteran-role-leadership-young-teammates/

 

I would say that he’s going to be a dude who makes most of his money on the court than on the court. I don’t think something like this changes the view of any GM or basketball execs if they already wanted Ant. If anything, clips like this give him a little bit of personality, which I’ve enjoyed seeing from Ant more in the last two years. If Ant Edwards was the one in that clip, no one bats an eye and would say “that’s Ant being Ant”. Edwards’ outward persona is also the reason why he’s being looked at as a future face of the league.

The baby mama thing is sad though. That decision WAS questionable. We’re going to need Maury with the DNA test, I’m imagining Ant doing a backflip when we hear the results right now. Ant and Ingram…even when the hoes fish, they have a type lol.

 

Who was the poster here who said LaMelo Ball’s weakness was scoring?