A primary teacher starts a new job at a school on Merseyside and, trying to make a good impression on her first day, explains to her class that she is a Liverpool fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they, too, are Liverpool fans. Everyone in the class raises their hand except one little girl. The teacher looks at the girl with surprise and says: "Mary, why didn't you raise your hand?" "Because I'm not a Liverpool fan," she replied. The teacher, still shocked, asks: "Well, if you're not a Liverpool fan, then who are you a fan of?" "I'm a Manchester United fan, and proud of it," Mary replied. The teacher could not believe her ears. "Mary, why are you a United fan?" "Because my mum and dad are from Manchester, and my mum is a United fan and my dad is a United fan, so I'm a United fan too!" "Well," said the teacher, in an annoyed tone, "that's no reason for you to be a United fan. You don't have to be just like your parents all of the time. What if your mum was a prostitute and your dad was a drug addict and car thief, what would you be then?" "Then," Mary smiled, "I'd be a Liverpool fan."
Osama Bin Ladens in a cave in Afghanistan with bombs falling all around him. In the corner he sees something shiny so he goes over and its an old lamp. He sees some writing on the side so he rubs it. WHOOSH out pops a genie. The genie says "i am the genie of the lamp and thank you for releasing me,so i grant you one wish" Osama pulls out a map and points to the west and says "i want all that wiped off the face of the earth" The Genie says " My powers are very strong but even I don't think I could do that, so ask me something else" Osama sighs and goes "okay then I am a Man United fan so before i die could you make it so that they win the European Cup as many times as Liverpool" The Genie looks at him ,sighs and says " give us another look at that map"
<div class="quote_poster">bringiton Wrote</div><div class="quote_post">Osama Bin Ladens in a cave in Afghanistan with bombs falling all around him. In the corner he sees something shiny so he goes over and its an old lamp. He sees some writing on the side so he rubs it. WHOOSH out pops a genie. The genie says "i am the genie of the lamp and thank you for releasing me,so i grant you one wish" Osama pulls out a map and points to the west and says "i want all that wiped off the face of the earth" The Genie says " My powers are very strong but even I don't think I could do that, so ask me something else" Osama sighs and goes "okay then I am a Man United fan so before i die could you make it so that they win the European Cup as many times as Liverpool" The Genie looks at him ,sighs and says " give us another look at that map"</div> You made that up.
<div class="quote_poster">SuperMattyTaylor Wrote</div><div class="quote_post">You made that up. </div> Every joke is made up...
<div class="quote_poster">SuperMattyTaylor Wrote</div><div class="quote_post">You made that up. </div> You didn't think it was a true story did you?
