For those of you wanting to learn more about the great land of Australia, have a browse of the Top Aussie Guide. Thank me later.
<div class="quote_poster">Quote:</div><div class="quote_post">Bondi, Saturday, 11pm: Punters at the Bondi Hotel were stunned on Saturday night after overhearing the Queen putting shit on a group of New Zealand backpackers. "Ya shhtupid fuskin ssheep-rooterers" commented the Queen after one of the tourists spilt her 12th schooner. "None of youse can plaay cricket for sssssshit. And youse shhtink at footy, too, don't yasss. eh? eh? eh? yess yas do... eh? Shhtupid New Fucksing Zealandernessses. Why don't youse all sscare me with a haka dansce? hey? ..... kiwi poofs." Following the incident, New Zealand's Prime Minister considered declaring war on Australia, but decided not to after realising that New Zealand would lose because New Zealand is crap at everything.</div> Link. Just for you Stockton, I found the last line particularly amusing.
Still hurting after the Netball are we? New Zealand women leading the way.....ugh . Why did the seagull fly upside down across Australia? Because it's not worth shitting on.
How can you pick a New Zealander in a shoe store? He's the one standing in front of the ugg boots with an erection.
How did I forget, where's Matt Dunning? EDIT( Couldn't wait any longer SS ): An Englishman wanted to become an Irishman, so he visited a doctor to find out how to go about this. "Well" said the doctor, "this is a very delicate operation and there is a lot that can go wrong. I will have to remove half your brain". "That's OK" said the Englishman. "I've always wanted to be Irish and I'm prepared to take the risk". The operation went ahead but the Englishman woke to find a look of horror on the face of the doctor. "I'm so terribly sorry!!" the doctor said. "Instead of removing half the brain, I've taken the whole brain out". The patient replied, "No worries, mate!!"
What do you call two countries that don't contribute anything to the world? Australia and New Zealand
The Schensch is a top Aussie. A tourist goes up to a NZ farmer and askes him "I've noticed you're spending a lot of time with your sheep lately, are you shearing them?" The farmer replies "No way am I shearing them, geet your own."
