Warriors Poetry Corner: Vol. 1

<font size="1">Volume 1 - Part 1 (First half of the season) in the neverending saga that is Chris Cohan's Warriors. Written by custodianrules2.</font>

Mike Dun Jr. was drafted third
He drew comparrisons to Larry Bird
He has an inconsistent J
and All around team play
The attention Barnett gives him is absurd

There once was a dunker named Jrich
Who wore the same number as Mitch
He's proving he's a real deal
With every highlight reel
If only free throws weren't such a b----

Troy Murphy is the guy's name
One of the best rebounders in the game
The ballhog can now shoot a three
but gets exposed badly on D
as does Dunleavy who faces the same

Speedy Claxton can dribble through the zone
You see him one second, then he's gone
he'll split the defenders
But a million Jonathan Benders
together are less injury prone

There once was an ex-laker named DFish
The sound of him shooting doesn't go "swish"
He takes shot after shot
And misses quite a lot
If only he knew how to dish

There once was an overpaid backup named Foyle
His signing a mystery written by Sir Arthur conan Doyle
Fans said, "What the F----???"
and, "Oh boy now we're stuck"
Yet us fans still remain loyal

Zarko is versatile with a high basketball IQ
We got him for two draft picks, both rounds number 2
He's pretty athletic
And quite energetic
Not even Michael Landon would sport that hair-do

Boogielew Calls Calbert Cheaney "The Towel"
Monty puts him in to miss, turnover and foul
"even though we're ahead, let's throw 'it' in"
An aging veteran won't deny us a win
spoken Words coming straight from the bowel

Uncle Cliffy is a consummate pro
a leader and good defender for sho'
In headbands, all smilin' and grinnin'
he's probably used to postseasons and winnin'
His weed and herpes, we'll pretend we don't know

Eduardo Najera was a Maverick fan favorite
Plays his heart out this season trying to save it
He'll track down our bricks
Came with dos draft picks
3 years isn't long enough to savor it

D-Squared is our only cap relief
Our best rebounding center, good grief
Strolls out with a limp
Actin' all gangsta-ly and pimp
Lack of playing time was his only big beef

Pietrus is athletic and raw
He's got some quicks that will leave you in awe
He'll take quite some time
To excel in his prime
Was disappointing this year as you all saw


<font size="1">*I dunno if this better suited for the Warriors Private Lounge where we can joke around, but hey like 3 warrior fans know what that forum even is.</font>

 

LMAO!

"There once was an ex-laker named DFish
The sound of him shooting doesn't go "swish"
He takes shot after shot
And misses quite a lot
If only he knew how to dish"

Hah, you put it very well. Good job

 

I love it!! Yet another good idea by a Warrior fan.

Btw, would you mind if I made one about my Knicks?

 

<div class="quote_poster">Quoting mrj18:</div><div class="quote_post">I love it!! Yet another good idea by a Warrior fan.

Btw, would you mind if I made one about my Knicks?</div>
Dude go for it, I follow some of the Knicks.

Post it here so we can read

 

Hehe thanks, that's just the limericks portion. I think we still have haiku, sonnet, monorhyme, palindrome, epigram, etc.

 

How about this

Fisher cannot shoot.
Mullin signed him for six years
His shots always miss

 

Here's my haiku

An errant three
like a falling brick
Derek Fisher

 

That was a great read custodian!

 

<div class="quote_poster">Quoting custodianrules2:</div><div class="quote_post">Here's my haiku

An errant three
like a falling brick
Derek Fisher</div>
That was great.

 

I am partial to haikus...(are we going with the traditional 5-7-5 syllables or the elitist 3-5-3 since American syllables are longer than Japanese syllables? I'll stick with 5-7-5 since they're more fun)

Let's see...

Roster overhaul
Total front office changes
Misery anew

Fisher and Foyle
Contract signings that shocked all
bids cap room adieu

Post scorer wanted
No Warrior has moves inside
Jamison is missed

Newest W
Zarko has a mid range game
And really bad hair

Dunleavy has skills
Can play many positions
But none on defense

Pietrus is active
Arms flailing, always moving
But he has no clue

That's all for now, I'm too interested in watching the W's blow another lead.

 

Haiku time!

Four quarter meltdown
Warriors inconsistent
Again and again

Under .500
Hope for good lottery spot
No playoffs here

Great celebration
When Warriors win a game
Rare like eclipses

 

Nice nice nice

 

Look what you started CustodianRules2 with these Haikus. Its getting contagious. Luckliy I am immune to poetry.

 

Well it started off with limericks, but Wtwalker and Zhone were tearing it up with haikus. Here's my 5-7-5 one.

Owner Chris Cohan
No playoffs ever since
Cursed until gone

 

Please sell our great team
Once an exciting fanchise
Doomed by Chris Cohan

 

Poet, don't you know it?

There was a new coach, Mike Montgomery
His hiring to some an affrontery
Never lost at the Farm
To his rep he's done harm
'these ain't genius kids!' is his summary

 

do'h do'h do'h do'h do'h
do'h do'h do'h do'h do'h do'h do'h
do'h do'h do'h do'h do'h

 

Biedrins just sits, as he's benched
Thirst for playing time not being quenched
1st round pick, that he is
He's learned this is a biz
Watches Foyle missing dunks, with teeth clenched

 

Thats pretty good Custodian...