College observations...

I hate when they won't put the lotion on the skin until I give them the hose again.

 

I still don't know how I got through freshman year without a smartphone. Now I show up to class, surf the web the whole time, and come away wondering why I even went.

And the answer is that teachers threaten you with quizzes and shit. And then they complain when masses of people are sleeping, on their computers, etc. Don't take attendance and you'll only get the kids who want to listen. If you have quizzes then you'll be chaulk full of kids who want that 10% of their grade.

Also its a relief having teachers who realize how much of a joke their class is. I'm a sociology major so they're all complete jokes, not like a science or math class (though I'm a stats minor so I'm in math too...). Some of the teachers treat the class for what it is and its awesome. Some still think their class is academically stimulating, rigorous, etc. and they'll force that notion by fucking with you when it comes time to tell you what to study on the exam. Can't stand when teachers purposely tell you to study shit and it doesn't show up on the test or give "practice finals/midterms" that are only 10% accurate of what will be on the test.

Psychology = hot chicks galore. Holy shit. Sociology is for all the people who are too lazy to do anything difficult so the hot chick % is pretty damn solid but not insane and everyone's really cool, laid back, lazy, etc. Psychology is a bunch of women who won't do science/math/business/real shit but still think they're smart and want to read everyone.

Classes required for computer programming = 1% hot chicks. 90% guys who jerk off to WoW and want to make games for a living (maybe its just UC Santa Cruz since they've got a pretty progressive game design curriculum). The other 9% of people are like me, I think everyone wonders wtf we're doing there and can sniff out our complete lack of mathematical knowledge and unadulterated laziness. BTW I'm in these classes for a statistics minor lol.

Also gotta say I couldn't be happier being in school in the current era. Yeah budgets and shit are awful but seriously, tights are in vogue right now. Every other chick is just wearing some skin tight tights with a fancy shirt. And then summer comes around and its all short shorts, short skirts, tank tops, etc. Can you imagine going to college when bell bottoms and pubic hair was in? Jeez....

 

Yeah I hate that guy in the back of the class who always talks. They think they're really smart because they've read shit and expect the professor to be right there with them after they've dropped knowledge but the professor is always pretty much not having it and will say "uhhhh ok so yeah, back to whatever the fuck we were talking about..." The worst thing is that they're painfully dorky and annoying but they are also overly social and will strike up convos with the local hotties who act mildly interested. So most of the class they're forcing a conversation that tries to make them sound interesting about the rush they get when they skydive or how they got arrested for crashing their motorcycle with no licence while on acid and then they'll arbitrarily raise their hand and shit out of their mouths about some stupid ass idea they read and they'll make sure to let everyone know they know the name of the author it came from.

All, no doubt, in an attempt to appear interesting. Also have you ever had those guys act like they know you in some outside situation? i.e. they see you at a party and they'll acknowledge you just because you sat next to them a few times in class even though you don't know them and you definitely do not want to be associated with their douche baggery.

 

No, they walk around everywhere with skateboards in hand.

 

Also I hate Che Guevara shirts. I'm glad I've seen a 200% decrease in them since my freshman year.

 

And more I just thought of:

Women who say "I'll drink you under the table!"

Men who say "oh my god, I've never lost at beer pong. I won this beer pong tournament with like 100 people and we never lost and blah blah blah". And everyone in his group/frat says "oh yeah chaz is so good hes like never lost, no ones ever beat him, you can't beat him..." Furthermore I hate when people play elbows length shots on a tiny ass table. Its one thing if there are women playing and they aren't good/dont' give a shit but if its all guys who claim to be ace beer pong players then you better not be playing elbows length on a godamn 5 foot table. BTW these are usually the guys who think they're really good basically finger rolling the ball in from 3 feet away.

Also when guys have blue moon at parties. Yeah, its tasty, its delicious, its a good beer. But there is definitely a stigma attached to it IMO because literally all girls like it, even ones that don't like beer. Its not as bad as having a Smirnoff Ice or Mike's Hard Lemonade but come on man.

And now I'm hanging out with some older people through my girlfriend and the only beer they'll get is Sierra Nevada. I'm pretty sure its a status symbol thing and they think drinking it says that they're a sophisticated guy and distances themselves from the college/cheap/white trashy look of ordering a Bud/Coors/Miller Lite. Also makes them look like they know beer a little bit and they think its like a smallish microbrew, which it kind of is but I'm quite sure its a nationally known and beloved beer.

 

Mike's Hard Lemonade is delicious.

Ed O.

 

Its funny though I never get marked off for not saying anything. Seems like most people give you the 100% if you just show up.

And people who carry glass jars around as water bottles piss me off too. They're blatantly trying to look like a hipster/hippy/poor/get attention or whatever. That alone pisses me off. But then what happens when this asshole drops the thing and glass gets everywhere? I've yet to see it but its bound to happen. Most of the time I want to go grab it and throw it against a wall and give them 5 bucks and be like "go buy a fucking water bottle you dick hole".