Dear Donald

<div class="quote_poster">Quote:</div><div class="quote_post">Dear Donald,

Forgive me for being out of touch, but, for a change, you weren't the leading blight on the local professional basketball scene.

Congratulations on a nice season. I know you just want to win and you can't understand why it hasn't happened. However, you actually made progress and would have made more if all your guards hadn't gotten hurt.

They're the relatively short players, the ones who throw the ball to the big guys.

I know you aren't going to believe this, but I've got good news. You da bomb!

No, that's what young people say about something good. No, I have no idea where they get that stuff from. It would be nice if they just said what they meant, like when we were young and we said it was real cool, daddy-o.

No, it's true, this could be your town next season. You're the one with the roster loaded with big, young, hard-working guys just coming into their own. The Lakers have the roster loaded with shooting guards and small forwards.

Now, I don't want to hurt your feelings, but I have to tell you, people around here aren't enchanted to hear you're their best bet. Look at it from their standpoint. Every year you lost and the Lakers won. If you were a fan, what would you think?

However, if it's a year from now and you're in the playoffs and the Lakers aren't, you'd be amazed what would happen. This isn't New York or Chicago, where people keep coming out of habit or stupidity, especially at these prices. We're front-runners and proud of it.

If you actually won a playoff series, Jay Leno might even have you on, instead of doing Clipper jokes. You can tell him how you always just wanted to win. He'll really get a laugh out of that.

Not only that, if you have a good season, more people will come to your games and you'll make more money. This is how the other owners do it.

Yes, I know you've made more money than they have. On the other hand, the only ones who haven't won more than you are Bob Johnson of Charlotte, who has an expansion franchise, and Dan Gilbert of Cleveland, who has been in the league for six weeks.

However, it won't be easy. You're in the West, which means you could win 10 more games than you will this season and still not make it.

This is a situation the Lakers are just beginning to come to grips with. "Pretty good" doesn't mean much in a conference in which seven teams may win 50 games this season.

Check the standings. That's the list of teams with their records that runs in the newspaper every day. There are nine teams ahead of you and only eight make the playoffs. Minnesota may go back to 50 wins just by dumping their pouting guards. Golden State, which is below you, is 16-8 since April 1 with Baron Davis.

Unfortunately, you have a part to play and decisions to make. There aren't very many decisions and an eighth-grader could make them, but I think we should go over them.

You have to re-sign Bobby Simmons and Marko Jaric. Bobby is that tough young man who impressed Michael Jordan so much when they were with the Wizards, and that was before Bobby learned to shoot. Marko is the one from Europe.

Marko has been hurt a lot, but even if the price gets north of $2.5 million, pay it. He can play either guard spot, which is a good thing.

Bobby will command $5 million a year or more, but give it to him. I know that's a total of $7.5 million, but let's be real. In six seasons in Staples, you've made at least $50 million, so let's not be low-balling Bobby and Marko, heading for the south of France and leaving word you'll get to this in September.

You could still use a shooting guard, but the big free agents are longshots. When Seattle's Ray Allen was asked if there were teams he wouldn't go to, guess which one he named. Milwaukee's Michael Redd didn't say anything about you, but did reportedly tell the Bucks that he'll stay.

Next in line are Phoenix's Joe Johnson, Sacramento's Cuttino Mobley and Washington's Larry Hughes. Johnson would be the one, but he's restricted and the Suns say they'll keep him. Nevertheless, your depth should make you the big player in any sign-and-trade scenario.

I know this is a lot of pressure, but these aren't the good old days when you could run your team into the ground and no one cared.

Good luck. Everyone around here is (shudder) counting on you.

Yours forever,

Mark</div>

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