I am waiting for it. It has been a while, but sooner or later when we start to lose again, the pundits will be out in force, clamouring about Newcastle's one great weakness - the defence. Now, if you were to believe the likes of Lawrenson, we have a gap the size of a black hole in our back line, whose sheer size and gravitation is enough to sweep hatfuls of goals past our Shay. Newcastle do poorly because we defend poorly, that is what they will say. The likes of Gary Lineker will nod sagely, and Alan Hansen will sit a little uncomfortably off to one side, fingering his scar and wondering when he can get the word Rooney into his next sentence. When this remark comes, we need Big Al there, for he can then say, quite reasonably....actually Mark, Newcastle have conceded the same number of goals as your precious Liverpool side. In fact, if you look back at the last couple of seasons, we have been one of the better teams in terms of number of goals conceded. Actually, Mark, our problem lies with our attack, for we just aren't scoring enough goals. We very rarely lose by more than a goal, Mark, so if we were putting a couple in the other end every game we might actually be around the same place in the table as your team, Mark. (Hansen fingers scar and coughs...*Rooney*...cough) During the highlights of the next game, Gary would lean over to Al and say, look Al, we appreciate your opinion and all, but you can't say that. It is a contractual BBC obligation to criticise the Newcastle defence. You are breaking the rules. Mark is still a little bitter that he failed miserably as your defensive coach back in Keegan's days, so I really think you should retract that statement and just go along with it. Please? Hansen mutters something about Rooney and goes and relieves himself, but Big Al won't be disuaded. He will finally break the media myth and say the truth, he says. In the end, Gary shakes his head and says he will be replaced by Graeme Le Saux for he next programme.
It is the main weakness. That and an out-and-out striker who's good in the air (MIDGET STRIKE FORCE, ASSEMBLE!). I understand why the Beeb's "pundits" keep harping on about but it's not affecting you at the moment. The "gaping black hole" in St James's is Glenn Roeder. The weakness in defence seems to have been brushed aside and he's looking at attacking players again, and none that address the problem of your team having nearly zero aerial presence. If less than two good defenders aren't captured in January, then Roeder won't make it past May.
