Great stuff... heres what he said about ray ray... <div class='quotetop'>QUOTE </div><div class='quotemain'>Normally I like to drop just one short, libelous, cheapshot at Raymond at the end of Ponder This every issue. But Ray-Ray was everywhere this week (except on the football field) and the flood of e-mails I received from you all last week in response to his hilarious cover story in Sports Illustrated ? ?The Gospel According to Ray Lewis: God?s Linebacker? ? has necessitated a greater mention this week. But where to start? First last week there was Raymond speaking to Miami players about the murder of their teammate. (Which was odd, since he normally keeps his mouth shut for a while after someone gets murdered.) And then there was Ray-Ray commenting on how Steve McNair?s career in Tennessee ended badly: ?It?s heartless to do a man like that without an explanation.? So true, Ray. So then can we assume that after you or your friends or whoever stabbed those guys, and before you fled, with blood on your clothes, in a limousine, that you spoke to the two men as they lay dying: ?Gentlemen, I just wanted to explain to you why you got stabbed, as it would be heartless to do a man like that without an explanation. It was because you looked at us wrong. Okay, gotta go. Have a good one.? But the thing that took the cake in the world of Ray-Ray this week was, of course, the Sports Illustrated article. Pretty much every paragraph in the nine-page affront to anyone who ever stepped inside a church/synagogue/mosque/temple was ridiculous and hilarious in its own way. So I?ll just highlight a few of my favorite passages: ?Called him liar, monster, abuser of women? Yes, the world did that. Called him killer? Yes, the world did, and does it still: He saw the poster in Cleveland in September, back of the end zone, with the drawing of a knife and the words asking how Ray Lewis can still be free.? [And whoever made that sign, please e-mail me for a free copy of my book when it comes out, a free SportsPickle.com t-shirt, and a sloppy kiss on the mouth.] ?"God has done something in my life for ev-ery hat-er, ev-ery enemy.... " A noise -- "whooooaaa!" -- rises out of the rows at the Empowerment Temple in northwest Baltimore, like the roar of an ocean wave gathering itself to crest.? [Yeah, take that stupid haters! Why you be hating on murder? Why you be hating on people who lie to police and purposely hinder the investigation of two deaths? Haters suck.] "... every person who said I wouldn't walk or ever play again!" [And take THAT every person who said Ray Lewis would ever play again or walk again! All zero of you who said that about the imaginary spinal injury he apparently has invented in his head.] "See, I had to face, face-to-face, my four-year-old child, who couldn't understand why his father was in shackles," Lewis is saying.? [Maybe you should have stabbed him in the stomach so he understood. Four-year-olds aren?t smart, but they can wrap their heads around a six-inch puncture wound in their abdomen.] ?And God asked me a question. I was in jail 15 days, and He asked me, How long are you gonna cry?? [Well, God is a smart guy and that?s a good question. How long WERE you going to cry? You weren?t one of the guys who got killed. Plus, you were about to hire some high-priced attorneys to help you get out of the whole thing with nothing but probation. You shouldn?t have been crying. You should have been doing that ridiculous dance of yours. (Actually, no. You shouldn?t have done that. That would have made the ?queens? in prison think you were one of them, and then they would have stuck a six-inch ?blade? right up your butt.)] ?For when you ask him, and often when you don't, Lewis will tell you these days that he's "anointed," that he enjoys "favor," that he is a "king" charged with fostering a national ministry on the order of Martin Luther King Jr. and that, once football is done, his mix of piety and street cred and that spectacularly nasty, Court TV-chronicled fall will drag even the most hardened hearts to the light.? [Wow. Wow. Wow. You know, actually, I?m done. I can?t do this for the whole article. I?m only through one column on the first page ? seriously; less than 10-percent of the entire article ? and I?m already drowning in feces. And it only continues on like this. I?d love to go through everything he says and pick it apart, piece by piece, but it?s honestly not worth it. The man is such an enormous piece of crap that reading that article ? an article promoting a person like THAT ? kind of made me lose hope in humanity. Seriously. Well, all humans except you. You?re great.]</div>
