Facebrake

I have a really right wing brother who said some things about immigrants on Facebook in the middle of a debate I was having with him about health care, and it was pretty uncool. He knows my wife and inlaws are immigrants, and they were "friends" so they saw it all. A single Facebook post has basically made it impossible for our family to get together at Christmas, because the wife and I can't stand to be in the same room with him at this point.

So I just got an invitation to become a fan of "The Flag of Equal Marriage" on Facebook from somebody else. Kind of conflicted. On one hand, I fully support gay marriage. On the other, it gets tiring reading a bunch of politics on a forum I tend to think of as more of a way to keep in touch with friends and family members. If I "become a fan" I've suddenly alienated a lot of people I care about (and probably a few coworkers), but if I don't I'm basically ignoring what I view as bigotry.

*shrug*

 

Which is why I don't talk to anyone about my political views no matter how strong they are (in my personal life).

 

I keep my facebook page politics free.

On another note, you really can't stand to be around your brother because of politics? Seriously? My brother and sister dislike Obama because they think he's too conservative. When they visualize me, they see floppy hair and a truncated moustache. That being said, we're family. We find other things to discuss.

 

I use Facebook to stay in touch with a few people and that's it. Just use it for that and ignore the political stuff.

As for the remarks made, I would urge you to look past them, be above it all, and remember that while we all have our own opinions, we are not always right. Also, I would say to never dismiss family over mere political views. The closest person in my family to me is the one that is farthest apart on politics. Keep family as family.

 

Remember, a customer of your wife's may also search for you on Facebook. You don't want to alienate any of her customers.

 

It's pretty hard for me not to on some subjects. Especially when it comes to confronting bigotry. By not discussing it, I feel like I'm conceding that it's ok.

Besides, it seems like the left and the right are so wrapped up in their own media cocoons that the only chance they have to be exposed to opposing view points is in discussion between family and friends.

 

Well, it's more than just "politics" when your brother says your wife and her mom and dad should be deported, along with all other immigrants, legal or otherwise.

The guy is an asshole anyway, so it's not a huge hardship to live without him.

 

Yeah, I completely understand.

 

I often wonder why people confuse bigotry and racism with being against illegal immigration.

 

same. unless I know they're right wing nutjobs too.

 

Racist.

 

I think it's pretty easy to do. Many bigots are also very anti-immigration, but not all people who are anti-immigration are bigots.

Anyway, the bigotry I'm describing, though, isn't really against my wife. In my worldview, opposition to gay marriage is a form of bigotry. I can see how a lot of people may disagree with that view. But it's mine. And I'm always really conflicted about how to deal with it.

I imagine a lot of Pro-Life people struggle with not discussing abortion on facebook. If I really felt like every abortion were the murder of an unborn baby, I'd feel a really strong obligation to post about it every day on FB.

 

Why is opposition to gay marriage "bigotry"?

 

There's a profound difference between being anti-immigration and anti-illegal immigration.

I wish the government would just get the hell out of the marriage business. I could give two shits what a group of concenting adults do to one another. All I care about is that they don't get increased financial benefits I have to pay for. Same-sex, polygamy, etc.; it makes no difference to me. Let churches marry. The government should have an open door policy for civil unions. The government doesn't have the luxury to discriminate.

 

For many. Apparently not for my brother.

That's really the only solution that makes sense. Unfortunately, it's too radical to get any real traction.

The more likely long-term solution is that we live with the status quo for another 10-20 years. Younger generations are much more sympathetic to gay rights issues. Eventually it'll be legalized.

Unless those on the left try to go around popular will and go for legal victories in the courts that can open up those rights. Even though I'd like to see gays have those rights, I'd really rather not see it done through the courts. But that's speaking as a straight guy with the luxury of marital rights.

 

But the tax code does discriminate when it comes to married and single people.

 

I view it as working to withhold the rights of a group of people for no good reason.

If you accept my definition, you can see how I'd consider it bigotry.

If you don't, you obviously won't.

 

As do I. I don't join groups, I don't do quizzes, I don't become a fan of stuff, I don't "help the environment by planting a virtual tree," none of that stuff. I have a cousin in Philly who would probably consider herself to the left of maxie's siblings, and she and I have long, respectful, hilarious, and non-political conversations.

 

Interesting. How did his/your family arrive on these shores? We're all immigrants, even those that used the land bridge. I'm certain you've used this line of thinking on your brother, however.

I have one part of my family that arrived here in the mid-1600s and another part of my family who didn't come here until 1938. It doesn't matter when they came, only that they came legally. Of course, there were no immigration laws in the 17th century, but the rest of my family came here by the book.

I don't see it as radical, but I guess that in and of itself demonstrates just how radical most of my viewpoints are.