Well, boys and girls, this week is Flag Day and Flag Week. We commemorate the adoption of the American flag. In reading Wikipedia, I came across this little tid bit about Teddy Roosevelt and an interesting interaction he had regarding the flag. On June 14, 1908, Theodore Roosevelt was dining outside Philadelphia, when he noticed a man wiping his nose with what he thought was the American Flag. In outrage, Roosevelt picked up a small wooden rod and began to whip the man for "defacing the symbol of America." After about five or six strong whacks, he noticed that the man was not wiping his nose with a flag, but with a blue handkerchief with white stars. Upon realization of this, he apologized to the man, but hit him once more for making him "riled up with national pride."
On a side note, Today, government officials apologized to the Muslim community for them having to see so many American flags. Ok maybe not, but that's where we are headed.
Jan. Martin Luther King Day. Thanks to all the National Guard who shot up the black riots to protect MLK coming to each town to make a speech calling for nonviolence. Feb. Presidents' Day. Washington and Lincoln made their reputations from war. Thanks for defeating the threats from the Indians, effete English, and Southern militarists. Mar. First Day of Spring. A wonderful time to thank our veterans for allowing us to enjoy the leaves returning to the trees. Apr. Easter. Jesus was executed by a liberal tax collecting government which prevented the soldiers from cutting him down. This month is weak and should be turned into Capital Punishment Appreciation Month. May Memorial Day. Thanks to all those who are buried in military cemetaries with rows of white crosses. June. Fathers' Day and Flag Day. Thanks to all the veterans who are fathers. Next weekend, thanks to all the flags out there who served. July. 4th of July. Independence Day. Thanks to all the veterans out there, even though they didn't fight in the Revolutionary War. Aug. NONE. This is a communist month. Something needs to be done here. Sept. Labor Day. It used to be a leftist day for communist unions, but now, this is a day to thank all the veterans out there. Oct. Columbus Day. Thanks to Columbus for turning the Caribbean into slave colonies on his 3rd voyage. It's either that or on Halloween, thanks to all the veterans who like to hand candy to children they don't know. This could be another communist month. Nov. Veterans Day and Thanksgiving. After celebrating our VD, let's do it again on Thanksgiving by giving thanks for our blessings, i.e. all the veterans out there. Dec. Christmas. This is the day we come together and feel at one with all the veterans out there. On this day of peace, thanks for the peace through strength that you have given us.
CONGRATULATIONS!! You've been voted the most obnoxious poster at S2. In your honor, we're going to have a new holiday for you- the jlpr[ic]k day, to fully commemorate your personality.
