i always wondered what happens to people who nearly die.. whether they use second chance on life to the fullest. whether they turn into agoraphobics and secretly wish their half realized nightmares come true. whether they wait in the dark for death to rightfully claim them. or maybe they just forget the whole thing and move on. move on. shes about to drop dead. or at least she looks it. small slits where her eyes used to be, there is nothing coherent coming out of her mouth. not words at least. more like a garbled mess of sobs and chokes and breathing like an engine running on hair gel. i tell her to get the fuck out, but she wont listen. she cant listen. her words start to become decipherable. how did this happen? how did she let herself fall for me? how was she so stupid? i tell her its a mystery to me as well. she leaves. but she doesnt. she comes back with a vengeance, lashing out at me, the center of her despair. when she is focused she can accomplish alot, and her aim here seems to be to make me feel as much pain as she is feeling. fat chance. emotionally i am a pile of pills, a piece of construction paper, an onion, nothing. sure there are chemicals and vitamins and folds and edges and layers, but inside there is no heartbeat, no life behind my eyes. it would hurt more to stub my toe. she knows this. the dvds come out of their cases one by one and snap too easily in my hands. i dont need her gifts. for that matter, she doesnt need mine. i tried to keep her well. she tried to keep me out of prison. but she isnt keeping up her end of the bargain. i take her earings and they crush even easier. ive lost my cool. she is winning. i have to leave here before something bad happens. im gone. so gone. all i have to do is say im sorry, and its over. all i have to do is admit i am wrong, even if if IF she is wrong too. she is bad. i am worse. she is death. i am hell. she wins.
Ok, thats it! Everybody is some sort of mod up in this bitch except me! Somebody make me a mod dammit!
Just keeping it real yo! Oh PapaG, you arent all bad by any means, but you can get really fucking annoying, but I guess we all can.
