Joey Crawford Pees in Hotel Ice Buckets

DaRizzle · May 15, 2010

April 22, 2006. Game 1 of the Bulls-Heat series. Three well-respected referees were assigned to the game, and I was the alternate. The spread was Miami by nine, and I think I teased the game down to 5.5. In the pregame meetings, our group supervisor told us to expect Chicago to play physical with Dwyane Wade and Shaquille O'Neal. We talked about not allowing the Bulls to get rough and a bunch of other stuff, and I thought Miami was at a clear advantage, based on what the league wanted in the game. So I told my buddy to bet Miami. Three grand.

Let's back up. The night before, one of these refs, a veteran of the profession, had a lot of beers. A LOT. It was what we used to call an "ice-bucket night." It's a funny story: This ref once asked me why I didn't drink. And I said that when I do, I go to the bathroom all night and never get any sleep. "Just do what I do," he said. "Put the ice bucket next to the bed and piss in it all night." He was totally serious. After that, every time I went to a hotel, I threw the ice bucket out in the hall. Didn't matter what hotel I was in. Maybe he'd been in that room a week or two prior — you never know. I was on the road with this guy once, and I remember opening up the door one morning and seeing an ice bucket there, filled with piss. He'd left it there just to screw with me. That motherfucker's crazy, I thought.

Anyway, on April 21, he had an ice-bucket night, and the next day, he was hung over, and I knew he was not gonna take any shit from the Bulls. The NBA didn't want the game to be very physical, and with Skiles and Nocioni and Chandler, I thought for sure he'd snap on Chicago at some point. Boy was I wrong. What happened was, he snapped on Miami instead. In the first half, Udonis Haslem goes to the basket and thinks he gets fouled. Haslem turns around and starts jawing at the ref. He says something back to Haslem. Haslem takes his mouthpiece out, throws it at the ref, and gets royally tossed. The ref then goes over to the scorer's table. The radio announcer says something to him, and the ref tells him to go fuck himself. Now he's really pissed. At halftime, Miami's up by 12, and the ref storms into the locker room, saying: "Fuck Miami. Fuck that owner. Fuck that radio guy. Fuck 'em all." I'm doing everything I can to calm him down, because I dropped a wad on Miami. He goes out in the second half, still pissed, and all of a sudden the lead evaporates. Chicago's raining in threes like crazy. I'm in the locker room watching on television, thinking, "I'm fucked." Miami's leading by four in the last few seconds, and Antoine Walker gets fouled. Makes one, misses one. They don't cover by half a point. And I'm out three grand partly because my colleague, the venerable ref, had an ice-bucket night and got pissed at the wrong team.

[Editor's note: You can find the game's box score here and play-by-play here. Joe Crawford was the ref who ejected Haslem, which means that Crawford is our alleged ice-bucket pisser. ]
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http://deadspin.com/5534797/tim-donaghys-bad-beat-of-the-week-an-ice bucket-night-in-miami

MrJayremmie · May 15, 2010

LoL.

DaRizzle · May 15, 2010

make sure your next ice bucket has a plastic liner or those mixed drinks might have a little "Joey Zest" in them.

Not only will Joey Crawford make sure your teams loses he will also piss in your drinking while you are sulking

STOMP · May 15, 2010

DaRizzle said: ↑

make sure your next ice bucket has a plastic liner or those mixed drinks might have a little "Joey Zest" in them.

Not only will Joey Crawford make sure your teams loses he will also piss in your drinking while you are sulking
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this act reflects the general distain for the public he seems to have... what an asshat

STOMP

jlprk · May 15, 2010

DaRizzle said: ↑

In the pregame meetings, our group supervisor told us to expect Chicago to play physical with Dwyane Wade and Shaquille O'Neal. We talked about not allowing the Bulls to get rough and a bunch of other stuff, and I thought Miami was at a clear advantage, based on what the league wanted in the game. So I told my buddy to bet Miami.

...The radio announcer says something to him, and the ref tells him to go fuck himself.
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I learned 4 things.

1) The mechanics of how the league is crooked are--Stern or one of his top assistants transmits the message down to the "group supervisor" who then tells the referees for that game how to slant their calls. If that's not illegal, it should be.

2) All the opponents used to say that they couldn't touch Wade or it was a foul. All non-Lakers have always noticed a bias toward Shaq. This story confirms that refs are directly instructed to do this.

3) Hangovers are the reason for many referee ego trips.

4) Crawford is a threat to Mike Rice's record of being the only announcer ever ejected from an NBA game.

jlprk · May 15, 2010

5) I really should read Donaghy's book. I've read elsewhere that it's a great sports book, and this backs that up.

oldmangrouch · May 15, 2010

Arrogant, ego-centric, callous, a substance abuser.......In "Stern-world" he sounds like the model ref.

I wonder how many NBA refs meet the medical criteria to be diagnosed as sociopaths?

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Joey Crawford Pees in Hotel Ice Buckets

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jlprk The ESPN mod is insane.

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Joey Crawford Pees in Hotel Ice Buckets

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DaRizzle BLAKER

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