I was thinking of Rick- on this 1st of 2 Jokes (you know those hemorrhoids older than most board members) Since many of us are getting up there in age here is an old person joke that I hope isn't too personal. Three men were discussing aging at the nursing home. "Sixty is the worst age to be," said the 60-year-old. You always feel like you have to pee. And most of the time, you stand at the toilet and nothing comes out!" "Ah, that's nothin'," said the 70-year-old. "When you're seventy, you can't even crap anymore. You take laxatives, eat bran, you sit on the toilet all day and nothin' comes out!" "Actually," said the 80-year-old, "Eighty is the worst age of all." "Do you have trouble peeing too?" asked the 60-year-old. "No, not really. I pee every morning at 6:00. I pee like a racehorse on a flat rock; no problem at all." "Do you have trouble crapping?" "No, I crap every morning at 6:30." With great exasperation, the 60-year-old said, "Let me get this straight. You pee every morning at 6:00 and crap every morning at 6:30. So what's so tough about being 80?" "I don't wake up until 7:00." ______________________________________________ A man in Bulgaria drove a train for a living. He loved his job, driving a train had been his dream ever since he was a child. He loved to make the train go as fast as possible. Unfortunately, one day he was a little too reckless and caused a crash. He made it out, but a single person died. Well, needless to say, he went to court over this incident. He was found guilty, and was sentenced to death by electrocution. When the day of the execution came, he requested a single banana as his last meal. After eating the banana, he was strapped into the electric chair. The switch was flown, sparks flew and smoke filled the air- but nothing happened. The man was perfectly fine. Well, at the time, there was an old Bulgarian law that said a failed execution was a sign of divine intervention, so the man was allowed to go free. And somehow, he managed to get his old job back driving the train. Having not learned his lesson at all, he went right back to driving the train with reckless abandon. Once again, he caused a train to crash, this time killing two people. The trial went much the same as the first, resulting in a sentence of execution. For his final meal, the man requested two bananas. After eating the bananas, he was strapped into the electric chair. The switch was thrown, sparks flew, smoke filled the room- and the man was once again unharmed. Well, this of course meant that he was free to go. And once again, he somehow manages to get his old job back. To what should have been the surprise of no one, he crashed yet another train and killed three people. And so he once again found himself being sentenced to death. On the day of his execution, he requested his final meal- three bananas. "You know what? No," said the executioner. "I've had it with you and your stupid bananas and walking out of here unharmed. I'm not giving you a thing to eat, we're strapping you in and doing this now." Well, it was against protocol, but the man was strapped in to the electric chair without a last meal. The switch was pulled, sparks flew, smoke filled the room- and the man was still unharmed. The executioner was speechless. The man looked at the executioner and said "Oh, the bananas had nothing to do with it. I'm just a bad conductor."
Excellent Rob, I really liked the 1st one. Here's a few quickies................... "I grew up very poor, hell if I wasn't born a boy I wouldn't have had anything to play with". "And my parents were no prizes either, take my mother, she wouldn't even breast feed me, said she only liked me as a friend". "And my dad, he was nothing special either, I remember one day he took me aside......and he left me there". "One day I remember when I was little I was with my dad & I was flying my kite on this mountain, and I asked him "Dad, how can I make my kite go higher? and he said, "Jump off the cliff".
I've long thought you should be doing a nightclub, stand up, or sit down, move around, engage the audience, make 'em laugh, and always buy 3 rounds for the house, .... before you take the stage.... jest busting yer chompers, in all fun... Your future as a stand up comedian, is so bright you have to wear On a serious note, funny -lol- stuff Rick, especially that last line... I've got 1 of 3 Son's who forces my hand, to say such things...You know the rest (standard punch lines) I'm sure:"hey kid, you can go play on the freeway now."
which one Tote..? this one is my favorite version, cuz I think it could be Ron himself incognito, a southern charm and respect for beauty that is: - Yankee Country, as deep a love of The Big Apple. yep sounds alot like 'em...Someone did a great job with the make up kit: beard, glasses hat, which can't hide his Southern accent...
