A young couple were in the process of getting married. They had chosen their cake, wedding vacation package, Wedding Dress, Groom's Tux, when a week prior to the wedding, they both were killed in an auto accident. The two arrive at the Gates of Heaven; when Saint Peter approached. They mentioned they were 1 week away from being married, and could He see if their were any Priests in Heaven to Wed them? Saint Peter said, Ok, I will be back shortly and look for a Priest. Weeks fly by, then months, until a full year went by, before St. Peter returned. Peter told the couple, your in luck, I found A Priest. The couple said great, but with their long wait, they thought aloud, what if we decide one day we want to get divorced, and asked St. Peter if they had any Lawyers in Heaven to divorce them if necessary latter on. Saint Peter red faced, said: “It took me a solid Year to find ONE Priest, and Now you want me to go looking for Lawyers? In Heaven? NO fucking way........! 2nd joke: Saint Peter approached God, stating God, I just found out we accidentally sent a great Man to Hell, when He should be here in Heaven, a total mess up on our part, he's a great man, if not a saint. Peter went on to tell God, I have reports, he's installed Ice Machines in hell, and now he's in the process of Installing Central Air Conditioning, what are we to do? God replied, I will have a talk and meeting with the Devil..... Next Day arrives, and God had his meeting with Satan. God said; you have one of our Men in your place, and I want him back to his rightful home. Satan replied, what are you going to do Sue me? and God said Yes I am........The Devil said, but where are you going to find any Lawyers in Heaven to defend yourself....???? There all here in Hell.........!
Mrs Crabtree gives the word of the day to the little rascals in class................... "Children the word for the day is DICTATE. I would like you to put it in a sentence". Darla, "My boss wants me to DICTATE a letter". Mr's Crabtree says "Very good Darla, anyone else?" Alfalfa, "When I grow up no one will DICTATE what I can & can't do". "Very good Alfalfa, anyone else?" Buchwheat is waving his arm around, "okay Buckwheat, your turn". Buckwheat, "My gurlfend say my DICTATE good".
