Pink trousers? Check. Orange shirt? Check. Lime-green belt? Check. Golf clubs ... Jesper Parnevik arrives in the Masters on a private jet, just to learn that he forgot to pack his golf clubs. Hey! We learn how to blow smoke rings! Plans are Declared for the John Daly Learning Center. Next on eBay: A true deal on Tiger bunions David Diaz Auctions the right to caddie for him in the British Open on eBay, and a Tennessee woman sells the rights to rename herself to encourage her son's golf habit. Bob Rosburg says the monkey has 173 yards to the pit with Zero shot A monkey takes off with Padraig Harrington's range finder in Kuala Lumpur. How to choose the best golf range finder And David Duval's streak ends at... a single Tiger Woods' Streak ends at 142. It's the only time we needed to Google'caddie' and'sperm Donor' A former caddie for LPGA golfer Jackie Gallagher-Smith sues her, saying she seduced him for pregnant. Gary Robinson says Gallagher-Smith, who's seeking a dismissal, used him as a"sperm donor." No one's buying This man was just trying to fill out a Foursome A middle-school golf trainer at Spring Hill, Fla., is detained after suspending himself from the ceiling of their college gymnasium so he can observe a female gym teacher and two students changing clothes in the girls' locker room. And here Velde, calling a policy a farce, declares he'll try to enter the Women's Open in 2006. "I'll even wear a kilt and shave my legs," says Van de Velde, who lost the 1999 British Open in a playoff after creating a 7 to the 72nd hole. The next thing Wollensky and find out they are outta steaks Mark Hensby neglects to finish the hole during the first round In Bay Hill after running out of golf balls. Stevie had not been this far off course since Tiger do the Driving Tiger Woods' caddie, Steve Williams, launches his automobile in a race in Tauranga, New Zealand and against a safety fence into the atmosphere. Has this really been a tough year for caddies or what? A man caddie Who lost two golf games into a coworker says he had been exposed to a barrage of insults questioning his penis, according to a lawsuit. Everybody sing :'Ain't it great to know you have got a Friend?' Player Paul Gow on Phil Mickelson:"He is an arrogant individual. Everything you see on television is totally different from what he's about the clubhouse.... He has done some excellent acting courses in Hollywood, and they have worked out for him." Was JD playing possum or simply ticked off that it wasn't about the menu? John Daly skips the champions dinner before the British Open. What is next, Bernhard Langer's caddie complaining that his guy's A wee little slow? Former Vijay Singh caddie Dave Renwick quits, complaining that his boss wasn't wonderful to him. Charity starts in the home The PGA Tour announces plans to invest $6 Million to $8 million to renovate the TPC at Sawgrass and $16 million to $18 million to renovate the clubhouse at its home base in Florida. If it's any consolation, he was low Rocco in the field Rocco Mediate plays 700 hands of Texas Hold'Em at 27 hours and nearly makes it on the end of this day in the World collection of Poker at vegas. Mediate finishes at the mid-600s in the area of 5,619. It takes the sting out of St. Andrews snubbing him for Honorary citizenship Jack Nicklaus receives the Presidential Medal of Freedom, the combined States' highest award. It explains why Folks tell Nick to (a) go fly a kite, and (b) Don't have a cow, man Nick Faldo, on his role as an announcer for ABC:"When I flake out, I'm going to make Johnny Miller seem like Mary Poppins.... If a guy hits on a great shot, it'll be said by me. If he hits a cow, then I'll call it a cow." He is counting it as a W Chris DiMarco went winless for The third successive year but whipped all comers in table tennis. However, the other two percent are totally hacked off After Colin Montgomerie is contested he substituted his ball in the Indonesia Open, Gary Evans says"98 percent" of the tour players"are displeased with the situation." But again, that wasn't much of a drop in Indonesia, was it Monty? Colin Montgomerie, on u.S. teams:"Now that they have the Presidents Cup, the Solheim Cup and the Walker Cup, it provides them an incentive to win the Ryder. Click here visit G+ Over? It's not over until we say it is over Phil Mickelson is surprised to learn that his Presidents Cup Match should go more holes. Cup, and we wish them well. It might be a contest. The final One was not, was it?" This was a really bad year for caddies Stuart Appleby initially refuses to cover his caddie Violation costs him two strokes. Who? Carolyn Bivens is named commissioner of the LPGA. Who? Birdie Kim wins the U.S. Women's Open. The turning point was when Ben took 45 minutes to perform with the Windmill hole Ben Crane loses to Dan McCaslin, the two-time Masters champion that is mini-golf. How's this for irony? Elton John shot an 84 in and then went outside The final round of the U.S. Open Jason Gore sings"Don't Let the Sun Go Down on Me" at a players' party on tour. This man's so tough that he even gave Tiger the evil eye before Letting him in A driving-range operator at San Antonio bans drivers, stating amateurs can't hit on them . I was aerating Phil, Veej Vijay Singh and the greens After Singh complains that Mickelson 's extra-long 8-millimeter spikes messed up the greens mickelson have a spat at the Masters. Pulled when Phil backed out as his speaker that was introducing Vijay Singh skips the Hall of Fame induction ceremony a Business devotion. Instance: a golfer, Mickelson v. 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