This Year's Darwin Awards

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by Shapecity, Nov 22, 2006.

  1. Shapecity

    Shapecity S2/JBB Teamster Staff Member Administrator

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    The Annual 2006 Darwin Awards

    Yes, it's that magical time of the year again when the Darwin Awards are bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us. Here then, are the glorious winners:

    1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California, would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.

    And now, the honorable mentions:

    2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-cutting machine and submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company, expecting negligence, sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.

    3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.

    4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.

    5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

    6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer -- $15. (If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?)

    7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.

    8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."

    9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast.The man, frustrated,walked away.

    ****** AND NOW, A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER *****

    10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.
     
  2. Shapecity

    Shapecity S2/JBB Teamster Staff Member Administrator

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    These are all true stories.
     
  3. Skiptomylue11

    Skiptomylue11 JBB JustBBall Member

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    <div class="quote_poster">shapecity Wrote</div><div class="quote_post">4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.</div>
    I don't know how that could go undiscovered for 3 days. I would think that within 20 minutes to an hour they would notice.
     
  4. Really Lost One

    Really Lost One Suspended

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    lol. Those were pretty. I didn't get the first one though...... Anyways, where'd you find those [​IMG]
     
  5. deception

    deception JBB Banned Member

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    <div class="quote_poster">shapecity Wrote</div><div class="quote_post">

    4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.
    </div>

    there is a famous sociological study called "Sane in Insane Places" where grad students were admitted to a mental institution and the staff never figured out. however, the real mental patients called them out.
     
  6. Shapecity

    Shapecity S2/JBB Teamster Staff Member Administrator

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    <div class="quote_poster">Brian Wrote</div><div class="quote_post">lol. Those were pretty. I didn't get the first one though...... Anyways, where'd you find those [​IMG]</div>

    You didn't understand the first one? The idiot shot himself in the face. [​IMG]

    One of my friends sent this to me via email. They have these awards every year.
     
  7. Really Lost One

    Really Lost One Suspended

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    <div class="quote_poster">shapecity Wrote</div><div class="quote_post">You didn't understand the first one? The idiot shot himself in the face. [​IMG] </div>

    Oh! [​IMG]
     
  8. Chutney

    Chutney MON-STRAWRRR!!1!

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    The first one came straight out of a Looney Tunes sketch.
     
  9. Moo2K4

    Moo2K4 NBA West Producer

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    The third one trumps all of them in my book. That and the train one. I had issues reading the third one outloud cause it was so funny. Also, I actually have a book of these. There's some hilariou stuff in them to say the least, and it makes you wonder hyow people can be so damn dumb.
     
  10. bbwSwish

    bbwSwish Harder. Better. Faster. Stronger.

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    <div class="quote_poster">deception Wrote</div><div class="quote_post">there is a famous sociological study called "Sane in Insane Places" where grad students were admitted to a mental institution and the staff never figured out. however, the real mental patients called them out.</div>

    There was another study done on this called, "The Ringer." [​IMG]
     
  11. Schaddy

    Schaddy Tangerine

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    Bus Driver + Cinder Block Guy = [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG]
     
  12. Iggy

    Iggy Iggy

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    LMFAO! I thought number 9 was the funniest.
     
  13. P.A.P.

    P.A.P. JBB Fresh Start

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    I personally think #4 is the most hi-larious.
     
  14. Voodoo Child

    Voodoo Child Can I Kick It?

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    #1 makes me cringe. We all have momentary lapses of judgement, and I can just imagine being in that guy's place myself, with the second of realization that ensues when I pressed the trigger pointed at my eye.
     

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