Before Kick Off - Any player being filmed leaving a team bus must ensure that he is wearing headphones and carrying a small Louis Vuitton wash bag - Players who once represented the same club must stop and chat animatedly to each other in the tunnel as they wait to come out, even if they never really spoke to each other when they played together - On the day of a cup final, players must walk on to the pitch in their club suit approximately 1½ hours before kick-off and touch the turf to make sure it is just like all the other grass they play on every week. At least one player must pick some and throw it in the air to gauge the wind direction even though it is May, very still, and, therefore, very unlikely to affect anything Goalkeepers - Before kick-off, goalkeepers should always hang from the crossbar to check it does not have any cracks in it - Keepers must use the special adhesive power of saliva by spitting into their gloves as much as possible during games. They should also kick the soles of their boots against the post at least three times in each half - Goalkeepers should sprint into the opposition penalty box for injury-time corners, even if they have never connected with a header in their life Offside - When a player is judged offside and still shoots but doesn’t score, he must pretend he knew it was offside all along and didn’t really try to score at all. On the other hand, if he does score, he must act “outraged” and “robbed” - Any striker who is more than five yards offside must still either wag a finger or launch a tirade of expletives at the flag-bearing official Managers - Any manager facing lower-league opposition in a cup game must describe the team he is facing as “well organised” - Assistant managers must be equipped with a blank piece of paper on which they can pretend to show substitutes the opposition’s tactical formation. In addition, assistants should shout and gesticulate in exactly the same way as the manager, only two seconds later Free Kicks/Corners/Throw ins - Two or more players should always dispute who will take a free kick, even though they have spent an entire week on the training ground working out who will take them - When a player has conceded a free kick, he must pick up the ball and run several yards before dropping it behind him without looking. When a free kick is awarded and the referee places the ball in the required spot, it is essential to pick it up and place it down again at least six inches further forward, ideally with a backspin motion - All throw-ins must be taken at least ten yards farther up the pitch than where the ball went out. The referee is allowed to tell the player off, but only when he has exceeded ten yards - All corner takers must push the corner flag to one side, regardless of whether it gets in the way. They must also raise a hand before taking the kick, irrelevant of where they intend to send the ball Anyone else think of any good ones/others that you have spotted?</p>
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (C.Ronaldo)</div><div class='quotemain'></p> - When a player has conceded a free kick, he must pick up the ball and run several yards before dropping it behind him without looking. When a free kick is awarded and the referee places the ball in the required spot, it is essential to pick it up and place it down again at least six inches further forward, ideally with a backspin motion - All throw-ins must be taken at least ten yards farther up the pitch than where the ball went out. The referee is allowed to tell the player off, but only when he has exceeded ten yards</div></p> </p> So true. So true.</p>
A player always leaves the pitch without the top they originally wore. Whether Tople or with a shirt from the opposition.</p>
When a player gives a foul away of which he knows he's made a bad tackle from behind, he must make a ball shaped movement with his hands to claim he got the ball.</p> When a decision is given against Manchester United , Gary Neville must run the full length of the pitch to spew vitriol in the face of the referee.</p>
<font face="Arial">I agree with Max, although, BIO when is a decision given against Manure?</font></p>
- Immediately before kick-off, they players must all jump around on the spot, and start with impromtu stretches.</p> - Before the throw-off, the player must clean the ball with his shirt even though it isn't raining, or the throw-in is not in an important position.</p> - After the goalkeeper makes an important save, he must scream at the nearest player.</p> - As soon as the camera is on the player, he must immediately snort, and spit his mucus.</p> - As soon as the camera is on the player after a miss, he must try to mouth the most swear words such as, "wanker", "fuck", and "shit".</p> </p> (For National Games)</p> - When the anthems are being played, and the camera pans down the line, the players must not make eye contact with the camera, but look into the crowd.</p> </p> I will think of more.</p>
