Q: Did you hear that two of the OSU football playbooks were stolen? A: Mike Riley is very upset. He didn't even finish coloring them.
Q. What does the (fill in your choice) grad say to the (fill in the other school) grad? A. Would you like fries with that? Q. Do you know how to make (fill in your choice) cookies? A. Put them in a bowl for 40 minutes and beat them.
Why do Oregon graduates put their diplomas on the dashboards of their cars? So they can park in the handicap spaces.
Q: Why did they stop serving ice with soft drinks at Reser Stadium? A: The OSU student who knew the recipe finally graduated.
Two OSU grads are on opposite sides of a river. The first one yells across to the second one "Hey, how do I get to the other side?" The second one yells back "You ARE on the other side."
It would be funny if it was true. Beavs are on a 5 bowl game win streak and have a better bowl record than your Ducks. Not long ago, your Ducks where on a 4 bowl game losing streak. Beavs... 10-5 Ducks... 9-13
Q- Why did they have to install Field Turf in Reser Stadium? A- To Keep their Cheerleaders from grazing on the field
A guy in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, "Wanna hear a good Oregon joke?" The guy next to him replies, "Well before you tell that joke, you should know something. I'm 6' tall, 200 lbs., and I am an Oregon grad. The guy sitting next to me is 6' 2" tall, weighs 225, and he's an Oregon grad. And the fella next to him is 6' 5" tall, weighs 250, and he's an Oregon grad. Now, you still wanna tell that joke?" The first guy says, "No, not if I'm gonna have to explain it three times."
One day in an elementary school in Eugene, OR, a teacher asks her class if the Oregon Ducks are their favorite football team. The whole class says yes, except for Little Jimmy. The teacher asks, "What's your favorite football team Jimmy?" Little Jimmy says, "The Oregon State Beavers " The teacher asks, "Well, why is that?" Little Jimmy says, "Well, my dad is a Beaver fan, my mom is a Beaver fan, I guess that makes me a Beaver fan." The teacher angered by his reply says, "If your dad was a moron and your mom was an idiot what would that make you?" Little Jimmy says, "Well, I guess that would make me an Oregon fan."
Q: Where was O.J. hiding right before the famous white Bronco chase? A: On the University of Oregon campus. That's the last place you would find an NFL quality football player.
One foggy night, an Oregon State fan and an Oregon fan were driving the opposite directions on a road near Corvallis. While crossing a narrow bridge, they hit each other head-on, mangling both cars. The Oregon fan manages to climb out of his car and survey the damage. He looks at his twisted car and says, "Man, I'm lucky to be alive!" Likewise, the Beaver fan gets out of his car uninjured, he too feeling fortunate to have survived. The Oregon fan walks over to the Beaver fan and says, "Hey, man, I think this is a sign that we should put away our petty differences and live as friends instead of being rivals." The Beaver fan thinks for a moment and says, "You know, you're absolutely right! We should be friends. In fact, I'm going to see if something else survived the wreck." The Beaver fan then pops open his trunk and removes a full, undamaged bottle of Jack Daniel's. He says to the Duck fan, "I think this is another sign - we should toast to our newfound friendship." The Duck fan agrees and grabs the bottle. After sucking down half of the bottle, the Duck fan hands it back to the Beaver fan and says, "Your turn!" The Beaver fan calmly twists the cap back on the bottle, throws the rest of the bottle over the bridge into the river and says, "Nah, I think I'll just wait for the cops to show up."
haha I've heard that one but it involved the Broncos, and the parents being Serial Killers, Psycopaths, and Cannabilistic being the Raiders fans
2 seperate pedestrians are hit at two different places. One is a Ducks fan.. and one is a Beavers fan. What is the difference at the crime scene? There were skid marks in front of where the Ducks fan was hit.
Q: Did you hear about the two OSU fans who froze to death at the drive-in movie? A: They went to see "Closed for the Winter."
