Cuomo Announces New Book On How To Treat Women With Dignity And Respect August 4th, 2021 ALBANY, NY—Governor Cuomo announced today that he has secured a multi-million dollar deal to write a second book called How to Respect Women. "We are thrilled to have one of the foremost experts peel back the mysteries of how women should be treated," said Alan Rickles, president of Penguin Random House. "This is a case of having the right man for the right moment. In a culture that glorifies machismo, boiling in a stew of toxic masculinity, we need the voice of a hero like Andrew Cuomo to challenge men to rise to greatness. I think women everywhere are going to be touched, really and truly touched, by Mr. Cuomo". While some aides worried that Governor Cuomo overextended himself by agreeing to another book, those aides have been fired and silenced with non-disclosure agreements. Mr. Cuomo did admit, repeatedly, that his hands were already full, but remained absolutely adamant that he could aggressively press himself onto even more engagements if he had to. Mr. Cuomo has promised to reveal his tried and true tactics to honor women in such an incredible way that they can't even bring themselves to speak about it—unless forced to under oath. While a few details will have to be left out for legal reasons, Mr. Cuomo will also describe how he and his brother worked together as wingmen to help create an environment of respect that women simply could not resist. President Biden reportedly will write the foreword, where sources say he will urge Governor Cuomo to resign so as to 'leave some for the rest of us'. https://babylonbee.com/news/cuomo-announces-new-book-on-how-to-treat-women-with-dignity-and-respect
I'm sure he appreciates the advertisement for his book....fuck him....they can have NYC...I have zero interest in that place..never have....every asshole in that city govt thinks they're JP Morgan
Chris Cuomo Reports Slow News Day August 4th, 2021 NEW YORK CITY, NY—Chris Cuomo reported a slow news day during his hit TV show Cuomo Prime Time last night, as there was nothing of interest to report on. "Yeah, wow... this is kind of embarrassing, but there's literally no interesting news to report on today," said Cuomo to millions of adoring hospital waiting rooms across the country. "If there was anything going on, like the Governor of my state—who also happens to be my brother—being outed as a pervy weirdo who preys on women like a greasy Italian skeezball stereotype, I would totally report on that. But there's nothing like that at all going on." There was an awkward pause, as Cuomo had no more material for his hour-long slot. "So, um... how's everyone doing out there? Good? I'm doing good as well, yeah. I had a delicious pastrami on rye for lunch today. Man, it was so good. I enjoyed it so much, it was crazy. Yeah... you had to be there." Cuomo then remembered he had some leftover pastrami in his suit pocket, so he took it out and began to eat it live on air to fill some more time. "Yeah, slow news day, too bad," he said. "I'm just gonna let you watch me eat this. This is a mukbang eating show now. I've heard the Gen Z kids love that. Num num num!" According to reports, the news-free prime time hour received the highest ratings in the history of the show. CNN has said they will now experiment just filling the screen with white noise next week to see if it does even better. https://babylonbee.com/news/chris-cuomo-reports-slow-news-day
As you wish : Cuomo Increasingly Desperate To Shift Focus Back Onto Nursing Home Deaths Today 4:42PM ALBANY, NY—In the wake of damning revelations concerning the New York governor’s sexual misconduct, an increasingly desperate Andrew Cuomo attempted to shift media focus back onto the nursing home deaths caused by his administration at a Wednesday press conference. “Of course, I appreciate the concern about these women’s allegations, but let’s not forget that I made a concerted effort to cover up the deaths of 9,250 seniors who died because of my negligence—that’s really what we should be talking about, right?” said a visibly panicked Cuomo, who proceeded to deflect several reporter’s questions by cuing up a slideshow featuring pictures of the doctored documents and his rescinded statewide order demanding nursing homes accept elderly patients carrying the coronavirus or else face legal consequences. “Let’s look at the facts here: I sent throngs of sick senior citizens into New York nursing homes. That’s a terrible decision. Then I cooked the books so that no one knew the toll of my incompetence. Insane, huh? That’s front page, above-the-fold news that’ll last dozens of news cycles, if I’ve ever heard it. I don’t know, guys. Maybe focus on that.” At press time, the embattled governor announced that he was also an open book if any reporters wanted to talk about the corruption allegations against him.
I've gotta ask...is that a rock singer's name...never heard of it but why I'm connected to it doesn't compute
And we've exhausted it almost thoroughly. However, if you want to bring it up yet again then that's your prerogative. Would you mind a discussion of Rep. Gaetz?
I don’t understand how his handling of the pandemic was ever seen as anything short of catastrophic. How did he become a media darling? The dude proverbially dropped a nuke on the elderly community.
