Not much out there

Welcome to our community

Be a part of something great, join today!

Register Log in
speeds

speeds

$2.50 highball, $1.50 beer
Staff member
Administrator
GFX Team
Joined
Jun 10, 2007
Messages
39,370
Likes
3,391
Points
113
I hope I get a chance to insult your favourite game here:

Killzone 2: only on the PS3, and I don't even know anyone that has one; launch delayed beyond reason; virtually no chance it lives up to the hype;
Street Fighter 4: fighting games are all the same;
GTA4 Lost & The Damned: they waited too long, GTA4 has already lost its appeal; can anyone honestly say they weren't tired of this game within a month of its original launch?
Halo Wars: you really need a mouse for a game like this; strategy peaked with StarCraft, which is also getting a sequel, but that was how many years ago; genre is exhausted;
Resident Evil 5: targeting system flawed and never fixed; incredibly poor writing and dialogue marks the series;
Star Ocean, The Last Hope: who cares; do the Japanese hate themselves so much they always make their heroes with blond hair and blue eyes?
The Sims 3: virtual lives are causing the recession, I know it; stop stimulating yourselves to cartoon avatars and go out and stimulate the economy you losers;
Various Baseball games: effectively simulate the tedium of real baseball;
Tom Clancy's HAWX: a genre that gained that popularity on 386 computers and has had ten million iterations; appropriate name, seeing as how Tom Clancy is a chickenhawk;
Sonic & The Black Knight: Sonic games are great (circa 1992);
Guitar Hero, Metallica: pretty much just for braggers; countdown to Metallica cracking down on people listening to their songs in the game without having buying bought albums is on;
Prototype: ok, this one looks pretty cool.
 
I agree on all of them, except for Street fighter, that will officially ROCK!!!
 
Max said:
I agree on all of them, except for Street fighter, that will officially ROCK!!!
Click to expand...
No, no exceptions. Any game mentioned in this thread will be insulted by me. Street Fighter is a house built on racial stereotypes and the intensely xeonpohbic Japanese superiority complex. And they've had an ungodly number of iterations. I'm still waiting for Street Fighter 2: Alpha Omega Super Ultra everyone is wearing fancy striped pants version 14.



http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Street_Fighter_games
 
Resident Evil is the shit. Have you played the demo? It's pretty fun. I'm expecting big things. I don't find the targeting system that bad too be honest, I've played a lot worse. Such as army of two, I hate that game
 
I'm also looking forward to Legends of Wrestlemania, Marvel: Ultimate Alliance 2, Bomberman Ultra, and Ghostbusters.

While I expect some of these to flop, I think the nostalgia factor in bomberman, ghostbusters and legends of wrestlemania will be cool
 
JFizzleRaider said:
Resident Evil is the shit. Have you played the demo? It's pretty fun. I'm expecting big things. I don't find the targeting system that bad too be honest, I've played a lot worse. Such as army of two, I hate that game
Click to expand...
The point of this thread is for me to rip on your favourite games for no good reason and in an especially childish or nerdy manner.

So yeah, you're right about Resident Evil. Its 2009. Being able to move and shoot at the same time is so passe. Having a laser sight that shows a beam in broad daylight is also not at all retarded.

Have you seen the Resident Evil movie? I swear Capcom employs 12-year old boys to write all their material. "So, like, he yells out her name and throws her a gun, and she does a backflip and kicks the head off a zombie, and catches the gun while she is upside down and you can totally see up her skirt the whole time! Then the main guy narrows his eyes and brushes the hair away from his face and says, 'I have a bad feeling about this'. Karate + guns + being brooding = being totally badass and copping feels everywhere you go!"
 
Main Event said:
Insult Counter-Strike.
Click to expand...
Fuck Counter Strike. Who decided it was a good idea to just keep playing the same game every night for years on end? Counter Strike players are like World of Warcraft players, just cheaper.

Also, who wants to play meticulously crafted levels by professional game designers when you can sift through terabytes of fan made garbage instead?
 
JFizzleRaider said:
I'm also looking forward to Legends of Wrestlemania, Marvel: Ultimate Alliance 2, Bomberman Ultra, and Ghostbusters.

While I expect some of these to flop, I think the nostalgia factor in bomberman, ghostbusters and legends of wrestlemania will be cool
Click to expand...
Ok, not so many at once. My AVGNerd/Zero Punctuation impression has its limits.

THQ keeps making the same wrestling game over and over. Its basically NBA Live at this point. You know you have a bad game when you'd rather spend hours creating your character than actually play the fucking game. Wrestling games peaked with No Mercy for the 64 when AKI was making them. THQ decided they knew better and went with shitty developers like Anchor and that has led them into their current shit quagmire.

Marvel: Ultimate Alliance 2: Fusion... sure you don't want any more subtitles in that name? How about Marvel: Ultimate Alliance 2: Fusion: Operation Get Stan Lee More Viagra Money. Pretty much all I've got for that one.

If there is one game that makes the exorbitant PS3 price worthwhile, its a game like Bomberman, best played on a gameboy or cell phone. Nice work, Sony.

People are quick to forget Ghostbusters has had games before it that were legendary for their awfulness. But it's written by Dan Aykroyd! He also wrote Blues Brothers 2000. And Coneheads. Aykroyd lives in my hometown and you'll occasionally see him waddling around downtown, trying to draw attention. Don't expect this one to be more than a paycheque. Ok, the tone of this line of insult is a bit harsh. I guess that's because secretly I was obsessed with Ghostbusters as a kid and my dreams hinge on this game being a worthwhile recreation of the series.
 
Big Frame said:
I cant wait for the UFC game. going to be awsome
Click to expand...
I see what you did there in trying to create a conflict of interest for me.

Just a jiu-jitsu game alone would be pretty impossible to make. To make matters worse, the UFC have gone out and recruited THQ, the same company that can't even do fake fighting justice.
 
I'm actually kind of excited for RE5. The demo was damn fun, at least in coop.
 
MLB 08 the show was the only good baseball game out there, and 09 is gonna be even better.

But my favorite game series, NCAA Basketball 2k8, was discontinued. It was such a good game, but now EA sports has the rights and EA sports cant make a good game to save their life.

Call of duty 4 was decent....online is fun

PC Games have really taken a hit over the past couple of years, there has not been a couple big titles come out in a while. And the tycoon games were killed when they made crappy games like school and prison tycoon. Who would actually buy those? And with more and more games having higher performance requirements, pc games are about to die because people dont want to pay $2000 for a gaming laptop, they will go out and get a $350 netbook.

Anybody try Little Big planet...I heard some good reviews about it.
 
panthersare#1 said:
Anybody try Little Big planet...I heard some good reviews about it.
Click to expand...

LittleBigPlanet is a great party game. Having 4 people sit around with it is lots of fun. Girls love it too. If you want to play by yourself though you should still go online and find people to play with.

And speeds, Killzone will succeed. Reviews are all excellent and they got 1.1 million preorders in Europe alone. Looks like it will be a success both commercially and critically.

Tear apart InFamous.
 
Little Big Planet is a Wii game that somehow found its way onto the PS3. Buying a PS3 so you can play titles like LBP is like buying a tank to go get groceries every Sunday afternoon.

Activision's COD/WAW franchise has more releases than a 13-year old boy with a hacked satellite receiver. Is there any doubt they are just reskinning the same game? Can you realistically expect any innovation when they have five to seven iterations on the same generation console?

I don't remember saying Killzone will succeed, just that it won't live up to its hype. Hype it created for itself by releasing an "in game video" at the PS3 launch which, unsurprisingly, turned out not to be "in game video" but in fact a pre-rendered cutscene that the developer admitted wouldn't resemble the actual game so much as demonstrate the atmosphere of the game. And how many fucking years ago was it now? After absolute bombs like Haze and Lair, PS3 fans are going to be happy with this game if it is in any way playable.
 
speeds, Haze and Lair were blasted by reviewers. Killzone 2 is loved by almost everyone, and the one bad review from Edge is receiving a huge backlash. It looks like at worst, Killzone will be as well-received as a Gears of War.

As for that E3 video, it was pre-rendered in 2005 but they've reached or even surpassed that level now. I played the demo today and it was just plain awesome. The graphics and physics have undoubtedly reached another level.
 
Locke said:
speeds, Haze and Lair were blasted by reviewers. Killzone 2 is loved by almost everyone, and the one bad review from Edge is receiving a huge backlash. It looks like at worst, Killzone will be as well-received as a Gears of War.

As for that E3 video, it was pre-rendered in 2005 but they've reached or even surpassed that level now. I played the demo today and it was just plain awesome. The graphics and physics have undoubtedly reached another level.
Click to expand...
I'm trying to be a dick. I'm not trying to be reasonable. And it should be as good as GOW seeing as how they've had four years to work on it.
 
FIFA is a great soccer simulation that strips off features users like and replaces them with features users don't want. Old versions of the game were actually fuller. It's pretty interesting to see that the weather around the world is always bright and sunny, day or night. You actually can play at night, but only in exhibition. I guess all the cup league games on Wednesdays are played at noon, according to FIFA 09. And no rain in London, how lovely. Or maybe the game's insistence on making free kicks and corners as difficult as possible so that you virtually only score on breakaway lead passes or box clusterfucks. It would be too convenient for them to include a targeting reticule for free kicks and corners so you could actually place the ball where you want it with some pace on it--that is, unless you like playing with the same team every game and having the same person take all your kicks. Then maybe you could get a feel for him. And it's also grand how FIFA has decided to publish so many soccer titles that you can't even set up an international tournament in FIFA because they want you to buy Euro or World Cup. Not even locally, in your own living room with friends can you play an international tournament, because they are petrified you wouldn't go out and buy FIFA Whatever, more or less the exact same game, just without league play. How thoughtful.
 
Locke said:
Tear apart InFamous.
Click to expand...
Infamous and Prototype promise to pick up exactly where Vampire Rain and Legendary left off.
 
Resident Evil 5 is going to be the shit. Halo Wars is going to suck rather play Halo odst when it comes out. The new GTA is going to be the kind of game I'll get when there is no other good game to buy.
 
speeds said:
FIFA is a great soccer simulation that strips off features users like and replaces them with features users don't want. Old versions of the game were actually fuller. It's pretty interesting to see that the weather around the world is always bright and sunny, day or night. You actually can play at night, but only in exhibition. I guess all the cup league games on Wednesdays are played at noon, according to FIFA 09. And no rain in London, how lovely. Or maybe the game's insistence on making free kicks and corners as difficult as possible so that you virtually only score on breakaway lead passes or box clusterfucks. It would be too convenient for them to include a targeting reticule for free kicks and corners so you could actually place the ball where you want it with some pace on it--that is, unless you like playing with the same team every game and having the same person take all your kicks. Then maybe you could get a feel for him. And it's also grand how FIFA has decided to publish so many soccer titles that you can't even set up an international tournament in FIFA because they want you to buy Euro or World Cup. Not even locally, in your own living room with friends can you play an international tournament, because they are petrified you wouldn't go out and buy FIFA Whatever, more or less the exact same game, just without league play. How thoughtful.
Click to expand...

Free kicks are actually pretty basic to score from, just get it over the wall, none of that curve malarchy
Corners? Pass it, that guy crosses it in for a simple header, or sometimes it goes straight in.

Madden please
 
I know you're trying to rip on the games, but for anyone who cares, i got Killzone 2 and it is great. The online structure is well made and very fun. I've only played through the first few missions in campaign but it looks awesome. The only problem right now is that the gun moves too slow with scope and without, lots of people are having this problem so they may fix it.

I played the Resident Evil demo and the graphics are top notch. Aside from that, there's not much i like. I have to stand still even to knife someone. But if you're a fan of the series then it should be fun for you.

I don't get why there's all this hype for Street Fighter. It's another fighting game.
 
speeds said:
No, no exceptions. Any game mentioned in this thread will be insulted by me. Street Fighter is a house built on racial stereotypes and the intensely xeonpohbic Japanese superiority complex. And they've had an ungodly number of iterations. I'm still waiting for Street Fighter 2: Alpha Omega Super Ultra everyone is wearing fancy striped pants version 14.



http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Street_Fighter_games
Click to expand...
I personally find Street Fighter's racist overtones awesome. Totally awesome.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

DP
E3 2011 Xbox World Premieres
Replies
12
Views
3K
DP
DP
GrandpaBlaze
For all the Westbrick haters out there (not HCP)
Replies
8
Views
401
GrandpaBlaze
GrandpaBlaze
BigGameDamian
OT DEION SANDERS SHARES WHY HE THINKS THERE ARE SO FEW BLACK PLAYERS IN THE MLB TODAY
Replies
17
Views
891
BigGameDamian
BigGameDamian
Mattingly23NY
OT: Can You Believe We Still Have NOT Seen ONE BUMS ST Game? (let alone Down Under)
Replies
3
Views
330
Mattingly23NY
Mattingly23NY
¹²³
Q&A: Hobbit Director Guillermo del Toro on the Future of Film
Replies
4
Views
779
speeds
speeds

Users who are viewing this thread

Total: 1 (members: 0, guests: 1)
Back
Top