"Actually, it turned out it was not steroids that Manny was taking. It turns out it was some kind of women's fertility drug. In fact, baseball authorities said they got suspicious because when he took the drug test, he had to sit down." - Jay Leno "The way I figure it is that Manny found something in Steve Garvey's old locker." - UkraineNotWeak "Officials said baseball is a family sport and they will not tolerate any performance-enhancing drugs, and then they showed the usual commercials for Viagra, Cialis, Levitra." - Jay Leno "Manny Ramirez has been banned 50 games by MLB for taking a female fertility drug. And now he's blaming A-Rod's gynecologist." - Marc Ragovin "Actually, last night without Manny, the Dodgers lost their first home game of the season. So I think it's safe to say he wasn't sharing the drugs with the rest of the team." - Jay Leno "Who didn't see this coming? I mean his dreadlocks are at least three times the size from a couple of years ago." - bizzo5000 "Manny admits (using) the banned substance, but he said it's not steroids. I don't know who to believe. You know what I think happened? I think before the game, he had a Dodger Dog. There are so many chemicals in that. Give him the benefit of the doubt." - Jay Leno "I don't want to live in a world where Jose Canseco is consistently right." - Lizabelle "Residents of Los Angeles haven't been this terrified about news regarding a Ramirez since the Night Stalker." - Weed Against Speed "Reports say Manny Ramirez took female hormones to hide his steroid use. Fans suspected something was wrong when the umpire dusted off the plate and Ramirez angrily pointed out that he missed a spot." - Marv Kaminsky "The worst part is that Tommy Lasorda had to hear this news over his morning bowl of linguini." - Shea_Guevera "Manny Ramirez of the L.A. Dodgers tested positive for a steroid that's sometimes used as a sexual enhancer. Apparently Manny couldn't get to third base on his own." - Craig Ferguson "Manny Ramirez has tested positive for some sort of female hormone. The Dodgers are saying they became suspicious when Manny missed a game to go to a Lamaze class." - David Letterman 'I've taken and passed about 15 drug tests over the past five seasons.' Perhaps he can be a spokesperson for the Whizzinator during his down time?" - ThePiratesFan "It seems like the drug Manny Ramirez tested positive for is commonly used for female fertility. I guess the team started getting suspicious when he stopped getting jock itch and started getting that not so fresh feeling." - Jay Leno "I guess Manny will be playing for the Raiders come September." - Unknown "Looks like the Juice is alive and well in L.A. after all." - SEC_speed_kills "Beautiful day in New York City. So nice, Manny Ramirez tested positive for lemonade." - David Letterman "What are the odds his 'doctor' went to medical school on a small Caribbean island?" - Arkansas Fred "Now we know what he was doing inside the scoreboard at Fenway." - UkraineNotWeak
"Residents of Los Angeles haven't been this terrified about news regarding a Ramirez since the Night Stalker." - Weed Against Speed
