In terms of street cred, taking a quote from Shakespeare like that is way worse than hanging with Lobo. But it was danged funny.
Ok, I'll clue you in on the only porn site you'll ever need. Pinklab.com. Now, *I* never go there of course, but it's basically the "Every Damned Second of the Year Box" of porn. From what I hear. Ahem. The sheer volume of flesh is astounding. Again, from what I hear. Definitely NSFW. $20 for shipping, eh? Might have to work on that. I didn't think it was marked up much, but it might need some tweaking.
how about bukkake-gram? kinda like a singing telegram, except you just jack off in a box, and rig it to explode upon opening