I must admit the description of what it's like to lick AD's nether region was more graphic than I could handle. barfo
All he can do is try for an Amazon job. A college guy should get his own entertainment. You need money just to get by.
"Hey son I know things have been rough, but dad's back from the future with the PS23 for you. You're literally the only person on this planet with this, ENJOY!"
Get him a library card!...he'll have a lifetime's worth of entertainment and it's already paid for... Budget friendly too!