Zombie Help! I got a chick Pregnant!!!!!

Not in Utah.

 

Heh nice one Barfo. I met to say that I was married but I like your input though. It made me laugh.

 

Man, that's tough. I can't confirm I've ever had one slip past the goalie until my wife and I tried, but I've always been exceedingly careful. Sometimes these things work themselves out on their own. I've had two ex's who missed their periods and then a few weeks later had unusually heavy flows. Their gynos said that happens more often than we think.

However, if this thing is coming, make a decision sooner rather than later. For the life of me, I don't understand those people who get abortions a couple of months after finding out about the pregnancy, without a medical issue coming up.

I will tell you this: nnce you see an ultrasound and how an egg turns into a fetus it makes it much harder. The cardiac tissue grows first, so you can see the heartbeat. If you're going to choose to abort the baby, you don't want to see that heartbeat.

Best of luck.

 

If its a girl you can call it funbags junior

 

A chick? Is she laying an egg?

Oh yes, one word: condoms.

Seriously, isn't it weird that everyone here is expressing sympathy to the poster but I have yet to see one word of sympathy for the woman? Isn't she going through a tougher time? All she is getting is nasty comments or just ignored.

I used to be a clinic volunteer at Lovejoy Surgicenter in Portland - escorting women through the screaming haters. (No, that is not too strong a word, if you disagree, go listen to them some time.) If Lovejoy is still there, I can recommend them, assuming you are in the Portland area. If you're in the Bay Area, Oakland Planned Parenthood.

 

Good luck man. Not a fun situation.

 

Well, if the woman posts here, I imagine she'd get some sympathy. Whether you choose to believe it or not, we're not a board of misogynists.

 

Do whatever you have to do to seal the deal.

PAY FOR EVERYTHING. Make it as easy as possible for her.

Do not risk her "changing her mind".

Be her best freaking friend.....at least until AFTER its over.

Make sure no one...friends, family, etc.....get enough time with her to sell her on having that baby.

Talk up the abortion and what you will do after. Make special plans for a weekend at the beach or a trip to Mexico. "Hon, once this is over, we'll take a nice little trip together". Make it sound like a trip to the spa. PAY FOR EVERYTHING. Make it as easy as possible for her. I know I said that twice. Its important. If you have to borrow the money then do it. It will be well worth it, and its a small fraction of the cost of raising a kid.

By the way, I'm not sure I believe the antibiotics thing. She may have forgotten to take the freaking pill, or chose not to. But even if you were scammed here, you have to take care of business.

 

One more thing. I happen to be pro-choice, but to call those protesters "haters" is simply ignorant. They're taking a principled stand against what they believe is murder. If you thought someone was going to be murdered, wouldn't you vociferously protest? I appreciate the fact that you often call on people in here to consider other opinions and other points of view. In this case you should take your own advice and consider the position of the people that are pro-life.

 

I do consider them every time I drive by and flip them the bird.

 

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/birth-control-pill/WO00098

 

Maxie, I honestly don't consider everyone who opposes legal abortion a "hater", although I seriously wonder about those who think, for example, that an 11 year old girl raped by her father should be forced by law to carry to term. And I absolutely respect the view and actions of a woman who chooses to carry to term, because of personal opposition to abortion, even if circumstances are such that I would never in a million years carry to term in her place. Because it is her personal decision.

I am talking about those outside clinics. They are not taking a "principled stand against what they believe is murder". They are calling women sluts and whores, they are telling them "why didn't you keep your legs crossed", they are getting into women's faces and demanding "were you raped or did you just spread your legs for him". One of them told me he would never, ever, under any circumstances, use a condom. They have told women they are muderers, and, get this, having an abortion will turn them into lesbians, which of course they consider the worst thing in the world. They have tried to physically block the doors, ignoring the fact that people may be going in for many other purposes. They have videotaped women entering clinics and posted the videos on line. They have copied license plate numbers and then picketed women's homes. They have issued death threats against docs and clinic workers - the woman who owned Lovejoy Surgicenter had to hire private security to walk her children to school after "pro life" groups threatened their lives. They have gone to high schools and told students one of their fellow students was pregnant and they should try to "prevent" her from having an abortion. When a 13 year old Idaho girl impregnated by her father who tried to get an abortion was shot and killed by the rapist father, they provided his legal defense. Some groups have defended denying abortion even if the pregnancy would kill the woman on the stated grounds that the life of a pregnant woman is less important than that of a fetus that may be male. They have told husbands and boyfriends to beat women in order to stop them from having abortions.

And of course, some have bombed clinics and killed medical and support personnel. Admittedly that is an extreme minority, but main anti choice groups say things like well, they are wrong, but we really understand...

I'm sorry to run on so long, but those people are haters. Their "principled stand" is that sex is a sin, at least for women, and that women who indulge must be punished. Which is why they oppose birth control and comprehensive sex education, that can reduce unwanted pregancy and abortion. Some of them have said outright that access to information and contraception takes the price out of sex. Recently, a state senator voted against a bill to require HIV testing be made available to pregnant women so that maternal-child transmission can be avoided, a senator who calls himself 100% opposed to abortion, saying in so many words that if a woman has a child with AIDS it would then make her think about her "promiscuity".

Again, sorry, I am not trying to sidetrack this into a general abortion debate, which is unfair to the poster and most of all to the woman.

Let's just say you really hit a never, because I have dealt with these people (and I'm a woman). They have absolute utter contempt for women.

 

It happened to me when I was younger. I paid for half. She commited suicide later.

 

In college I dated a girl who'd had an abortion with a previous guy. The abortion had gone wrong, and she told me she could never have kids. We had unprotected sex for nearly 3 years.

A month after we broke up she mentioned, "You know, I wasn't exactly positive I couldn't have kids. My doctor just said it wasn't likely. I guess we know for sure now, though. Ha ha!" I went ballistic.

It's 12 years later, and I found out just two days ago via Facebook that she just gave birth to a little girl.

UN-FUCKING-BELIEVABLE.

None of this really helps you, I realize. But I figured I'd get in on the group therapy, because it's still fucking with my head a little.

Anyway, lots of sound advice here. As with most situations, if you follow the golden rule of "Don't be an asshole and do the best you can," it's pretty obvious to you how to handle this. If you are both strong enough, convince her to carry it to term so she can put it up for adoption. If you aren't, recognize your limitations and have an abortion.

Myself, I plan on playing with my own two amazing kids tonight (ages 3 and 1) I had with the woman I love and THANKING GOD ALMIGHTY THAT THROUGH RANDOM FUCKING CHANCE THERE AIN'T A THIRD ONE WITH THAT MOTHER FUCKING CRAZY EX-GIRLFRIEND.

 

Well, the poster can't consider continuing with the pregnancy since he is not pregnant.

Another person suggested taking the woman out to celebrate afterwards. Kindly meant, but I think not a great idea. (Honestly, are there no other women here?)

A first trimester abortion takes about 10 minutes under local anesthesia, but afterwards a woman may have heavy cramps, heavy bleeding, lower back pain, or be groggy from pain medication. All this is normal and will go away in a day or two, but she's hardly likely to want to dance all night.

Also, while the vast majority of women who have abortions consider it the right decision to have made at that time, the vast majority also either have children or plan to eventually have children. So a woman may feel that had circumstances been different she'd have wanted to carry the pregnancy, and feel some sadness, but not regret. Also, a woman, especially if the cramps are really nasty, may feel grouchy and inclined to take it out on the person seen as responsible, i.e., the man. Of course, there are also the men who are totally prepared to be super sensitive and supportive and are confounded when the woman comes out of the clinic cracking jokes. My point is that all these are normal, depending on the individual, but again, she may not be up for dancing all night.

I would suggest strongly that you let yourself by guided by her. Suggest a quiet dinner somewhere. But if she says no, if she wants to be alone or with a woman friend, that is not a rejection of you or of your relationship. Give her a call in a day or two.

I have never been pregnant, so never had an abortion, but I've been around this issue for, I am sure, far longer than you've been alive, been a clinic volunteer and known a lot of women who've had abortions, so if you want to PM me I'd be happy to reply and promise I will keep your identity secret - I feel very strongly about the right to privacy.

 

celebrate with booze in a hot tub?

 

I have to admit. That was pretty funny, Rozza5.

 

How did I know she would say this....Shes having "2nd thoughts"....There is a 500lbs boulder on my chest right now.

She is at the OBGYN as I write this getting an ultrasound to confirm...I told her to call me when she was on her way home so I could cruise over to her place.

She told me the "2nd thoughts" by text message so I just let that one slide until we meet face to face. (No, we arent in HS..we are both in the 25-29 year old range)

Im gonna fucking puke...IMO Ive decided this is not the time to say the nice thing just to be nice. Im not saying Im gonna try and piss her off or anything but I am gonna be 100% honest in my feelings on this matter and between us. I refuse...I fucking refuse for my life to go down this path right now. I dont love her, she's a great screw and a good person but I am in no way in love with her. Im not gonna marry someone "because of the kid". That is just stupid and would make life miserable for everybody. All this can be resolved for about $200 bucks or so which I am more than willing to pay...fuck, add a zero onto that 200 and Im still happy to pay. She is not having this baby, I truly dont think she wants to either but is understandably emotional right now.

We have had this conversation before about what we would do if this ever happened. Obviously we took the precautions to not go down this path but nature beat us. She said she would have an abortion if this ever happened. She has also said multiple times after hanging out with her friends that have kids that she could never have one....she doesnt want to have kids, she is just confused and emotional.


fuck fuck fuck

 

Calm down! I again strongly advise she (and you) go to Planned Parenthood. They are very very experienced at discussing the often mixed feelings women have, and what their options are. They are very good at sorting through what she wants vs. what others tell her to.

Don't marry her if you don't wish to, that is a disaster.

But you can't force her, you know. Screaming and name calling are not going to be very persuasive.

Do you live in Oregon? I ask because you mention ultrasound. It is actually hazardous for a woman to have an ultrasound in early pregnancy, but in some states opponents of legal abortion have made ultrasound a requirement, despite risk to woman and fetus, as a way of making abortion more difficult, expensive, and emotional. But I don't think Oregon is one of those states.