Houston Fans Getting Ready for Game 5

Discussion in 'Portland Trail Blazers' started by The_Lillard_King, Apr 29, 2014.

  1. The_Lillard_King

    The_Lillard_King Westside

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    [video=youtube;pn776cuRdXc]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pn776cuRdXc[/video]

    Pretty solid fight, with a nice high spot at 0:33. Vince McMahon would be proud. Let's Zapruder this thing....

    0:01 -- All right, it's tough to distinguish sides in all of this but we will do our best. It appears to go like this:

    * In the front row of the upper deck (Danger rating A+++), we have a woman in Daisy Dukes and a James Harden jersey (with presumably the worst teeth in the world to pay homage to both the Dukes and Harden) in a tussle with some chick sitting down in her seat. A couple other folks are getting grabby from the stairway.

    * A second ample torsoed gal sitting in the second row is being yanked by her hair like her skull is carrying a bowling bowl by someone wearing a Dwight Howard jersey. Also, one other chick in a red t-shirt two steps up is being held back by some dude.

    * Someone in a Jeremy Lin throwback (to a time when Lin wasn't even on the team!) is sitting on some dude's lap, and they look terrified. Also, some old guy in the complementary red t-shirt is sitting and for most of the video acting like nothing is going on, like making eye contact means he's gonna get his ass kicked.

    0:18 -- The first 18 seconds or so is largely restholds with the occasional left handed jab thrown by Daisy Duke Harden, kind of like when to UFC fighters are totally gassed and molesting each other on the mat. It would be kind of hot if they were all swimsuit models. But they are not, and therefore, we need some punches here soon or the audience is going to begin chanting "BOOOORRRRING.....BOOOOORRRING..." (By the way, how awesome would catcalls at fan fights be? "YOU F**KED UP!!" and some Daniel Bryan YES! cheers...)

    0:24 -- A second Daisy Duke Harden steps over the seats in the first row like Andre the Giant stepping over the top rope, and I realize that she would be much cooler if she were wearing a James Harden one-should-strp singlet like Andre in Wrestlemania III.

    0:25 -- Wow, now that I examine closer, there's ANOTHER Daisy Duke Harden standing in watching in Row 2! This is like when multiple Doink the Clowns started showing up in WWE back in 1993. Exact. Same. Thing.

    0:27 -- Yowza, Daisy Duke #2 is a mean bitch. She grabs the leg of the person in the seat and tries to yank it off of her torso, the same way you pull a drumstick off of a rotisserie chicken. This is getting good! Good like rotisserie chicken!

    0:30 -- If you listen carefully you can hear Daisy Duke #2 growling "Maaake a wiiisssshhh....."

    0:31 -- Ok, now the leg is pushed so far back that it's getting either really kinky or really weird, depending on how you feel about heavy set women in cut offs and James Harden jerseys. But wait....what's happening....I hear footsteps....wait, NO....

    0:32 -- ....NO.....NO.....

    0:33 -- GOOD GAWD ALMIGHTY...GOOD GAWD ALMIGHTY....THEY KILLED HER......GOD AS MY WITNESS, SHE IS BROKEN IN HALF!!!!

    0:34 -- A kick square to the face, and no Zpruder wise cracking here, that could have ended really badly, seeing as, y'know, the drop from 400 level at Toyota Center is about 100 feet. Seriously, that this is all going on in the front row should scare the **** out of anyone sitting right beneath the crest of the upper balcony.

    0:39 -- Honestly, the kick was pretty damn impressive, even if it was a cheap shot.

    0:52 -- Security finally makes its way over to the fight, with the self awareness and want-to of a government worker at the DMV, and we are left with a cliffhanger, with the multiple Daisy Duke Hardens still placing a beatdown on the poor woman sitting in her seat.

    I'm going to assume this ended with each Daisy Duke Harden dismembering a limb from the victim and sitting calmly in their seats eating them like drumsticks as the LaMarcus Aldridge lit up the Rockets throughout the second half.

    Hopefully, there will be a rematch in Game 5. Hopefully, there will be a Game 5.
     
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  2. magnifier661

    magnifier661 B-A-N-A-N-A-S!

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    Stay classy Houston
     
  3. SlyPokerDog

    SlyPokerDog Woof! Staff Member Administrator

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    And the refs call a foul on the Blazers.
     
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  4. magnifier661

    magnifier661 B-A-N-A-N-A-S!

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    Lmao
     
  5. Nhawz

    Nhawz Lickety Brindle

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    Looked like the scrum right before Lilliard swung if around to Mo for the lead!!
     
  6. BBert

    BBert Weasels Ripped My Flesh

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    The chick getting stomped was probably a Blazers fan. Offensive foul, Blazers.
     
  7. fumanchu

    fumanchu Active Member

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    Drunk chicks are the best!
     
  8. Wheels

    Wheels Is That A Challenge?!?!1! Staff Member Global Moderator

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    Jesus that drop kick right next to the end of the upper bowl.... Lucky someone didn't die
     
  9. ripcityboy

    ripcityboy Well-Known Member

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    Saw something similar in the Jets-Raiders game but the fat chick got her clock cleaned.
     
  10. MickZagger

    MickZagger Well-Known Member

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    Looks like a typical night in the 300 section at the Rose Garden.
     
  11. MARIS61

    MARIS61 Real American

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    Pretty sure that's the player's wives section.
     
  12. blue32

    blue32 Who wants a mustache ride?

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    Pretty good royal rumble there. Wish there was better quality. Who records in 240 now-a-days? That's a flagrant and 1.
     
  13. Prue

    Prue Member

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    LOL @ houston putting the players wives up in the nosebleeds
     
  14. DaLincolnJones

    DaLincolnJones Well-Known Member

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    Damn, Sly, that was great..repped
     

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