How many Californians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Ten....one to screw in the bulb and 9 to sit around sharing the experience.
Old men can make love for a long time but the problem is, nobody wants to fuck an old man for a long time.
So, it's the days of the old West. This guy runs into the local saloon and yells in a loud voice "Everybody hide, Big John's coming to town!" Everybody in the joint flees for all the exits running as fast as they can with looks of sheer fear and panic in their eyes. Pretty soon a massive man comes riding into town on the back of a huge grizzly bear that he's whipping with three very large rattlesnakes in his right hand. He ties up his bear at the saloon's hitching post and goes inside. The bartender is quivering with fear and says in a quavering voice "What would you like sir?" GIMME A BOTTLE OF YOUR STRONGEST WHISKEY AND MAKE IT PRONTO". The massive man drinks it all down in one gulp. The bartender again in a very quavering voice says "Would you like another bottle, sir?" The big man replies "HELL NO, GOTTA GET GOING FAST. HAVEN'T YOU HEARD? BIG JOHN'S COMING."
