the joke is that god is a grateful dead fan, sorry heres one more your speed how do you get a priest to fuck a nun? shit in her ****
and you can drink hydrogen peroxide, just not concentrated and alot, which puts it in the same boat as prune juice
do you know what jerry garcia would be doing if he was alive right now? . . . . . . . . scratching frantically on the inside of his coffin
I was in a pub last Saturday night, drank a few, and noticed two very large women by the bar. They both had pretty strong accents, so I asked, "Hey, are you two ladies from Ireland?" One of them chirped saying, "It's WALES, you friggin' idiot!" So, I immediately apologized and said, "I'm sorry. Are you two whales from Ireland?" That's pretty much the last thing I remember...
WARNING: Pretty much the nastiest joke I've ever heard. I was eating out this lady the other day when all of a sudden I tasted horse semen. All I could think was: "Oh Grandma, so that's how you died!"
A priest, a rabbi, a minister, a black guy, a mexican, a horse, and a parrott walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What is this, some kind of joke?"
A guy walks into a bar and orders three shots of Pendleton. Bartender pours 'em, and the guy throws 'em down 1, 2, 3. Then he orders three shots of Grey Goose, and again, swills them one after the other. His next order is three shots of Jameson. As the bartender fills the glasses, he exclaims, "Wow, I've never seen anybody drink like that!" The guy replies, "Well, if you had what I have, you'd drink like this, too" and proceeds to drink all three shots without even taking a breath in between. The bartender takes on a sympathetic air and says, "Gee, what do you have?" The guy answers "Thirty-seven cents."
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?
Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson were going camping. They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes woke Watson up and said: "Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you see." Watson replied: "I see millions and millions of stars." Holmes said: "And what do you deduce from that?" Watson replied: "Well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it’s quite likely there are some planets like Earth out there. And if there are a few planets like Earth out there, there might also be life." And Holmes said: "Watson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent."
