Zombie Paddling upstream

Discussion in 'Portland Trail Blazers' started by riverman, Nov 4, 2014.

  1. riverman

    riverman Writing Team

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    Rip City Current, Part 1: Paddling Upstream

    This season’s Blazers are setting sail on that 82 game journey and in the brutal Western Conference, it’s paddling upstream against a strong current.
    With so many returning, yet unproven bench players there is no rookie hype, no blank page to fill in with script. From summer league and preseason we saw glimpses of improvement and got a taste of what Kaman and Blake bring to the mix. According to the coaching staff, starters and vets, everyone got better. The focus has been on becoming a better defensive team and resting the starters more. After 3 games we were ranked 9th in the league defensively and 19th in the league offensively. It seems after a somewhat disappointing start that we are treading water and maybe even losing some ground on offense after being a top ranked offense last season. Next comes the inevitable fan panic that follows a couple of ugly losses. I’ve compiled a list that I hope fans have some fun with entering this season. riverman

    Choices when the current gets rough:

    1. Be patient. Let them develop and adapt just like all the other 29 teams
    2. Cheer the team on and hope for the best
    3. Melt down. Vent. Start half a dozen angry threads. Hang out in a Spurs forum for a while and contemplate buying a Duncan jersey
    4. Really feel good about Lamarcus and Meyers shooting more 3’s
    5. Feel really sorry for Victor Claver. Just when he was becoming fluent in English comprehension
    6. Believe the Blazers are an elite team and can contend for a title
    7. See us missing the playoffs altogether
    8. Think Paul Allen will move the team to Seattle complete with several “I told you so” conspiracy theories
    9. Just enjoy drinking beer, eating snacks and watching the dancers at halftime
    10. Consider yourself a fair weather Meyers Leonard fan and find yourself hoping Stotts brings him back into the game but not admitting it
    11. Want to see all our tallest guys on the court at the same time….just once
    12. Post a scathing, controversial thread just to see it go for at least 50 pages
    13. Take the season one game at a time and enjoy the games even if we lose
    14. Wait until New Year’s Eve to evaluate the team or make any predictions
    15. Believe we have a bona-fide 6th man in the making
    16. (blazer wookie's, see post #9)
    17. Let numbers and charts or graphs determine every member of the organizations value and then watch Moneyball over and over and over
    18. After beating the Cavs soundly, think Lillard should go back on twitter and make some new snarky comments

    Feel free to chime in and Go Blazers!
     
    Last edited: Nov 4, 2014
  2. BrianFromWA

    BrianFromWA Editor in Chief Staff Member Editor in Chief

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    1, 2, 4, 6, 11, 12, 13, 14, 17. Especially 12. I love 12. Better if it involves 11 and 4.
     
    Last edited: Nov 5, 2014
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  3. riverman

    riverman Writing Team

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    Brilliant! Repped! Thanks bro!
     
  4. BlazerWookee

    BlazerWookee UNTILT THE DAMN PINWHEEL!

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    16. Drink Coors Light in ill-advised quantities.
     
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  5. riverman

    riverman Writing Team

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    My Irish ancestors had no idea that drinking and ill advised quantities could be put together in the same sentence
     
  6. BrianFromWA

    BrianFromWA Editor in Chief Staff Member Editor in Chief

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    I think #9 was written with Wookee in mind.
     
  7. riverman

    riverman Writing Team

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    Repped for being the first to continue the list. @wookie
     
  8. SlyPokerDog

    SlyPokerDog Woof! Staff Member Administrator

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    Great job, Riverman!

    Rep'd!
     
  9. riverman

    riverman Writing Team

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    Glad you enjoyed it Sly! I had a blast doing this and look forward to the next one.
     
  10. magnifier661

    magnifier661 B-A-N-A-N-A-S!

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    I want 11 so badly! Btw, great write up bro!
     
  11. Boise Blazer

    Boise Blazer Thread Lightly

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    So what are we looking at? Leonard, Rolo, Kaman, LMA and Freeland?
     
  12. magnifier661

    magnifier661 B-A-N-A-N-A-S!

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    Yeah. Rolo at point, Leonard at guard, LMA at SF, Freeland at PF and Kaman at center
     
  13. riverman

    riverman Writing Team

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    Me too! My tallest team in the NBA would have Nic at the pt guard , Meyers at the 2, LA at the 3, Kaman at the 4 and Rolo at the 5. Thanks for the props mags!
     
  14. Hobbesarable

    Hobbesarable Cartoon Character

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    Props for the list!

    I usually go with #13 in all sports.

    #5 - Easy money sitting in a suit. I'm willing to do that for him if he really wants to go back to Spain!
     
    Last edited: Nov 4, 2014
  15. Boise Blazer

    Boise Blazer Thread Lightly

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    It wouldn't be the 5 tallest but swap Freeland for Batum and put him at point and you could almost talk me into that for real just to see what happens for fun.
     
  16. magnifier661

    magnifier661 B-A-N-A-N-A-S!

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    Oh I like that better!
     
  17. riverman

    riverman Writing Team

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    Or the desert, Rubio would probably love to be in the desert as well. Portland is too damp for most some of these guys.Rudy ditched it in a mad dash too
     
  18. riverman

    riverman Writing Team

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    Just updated the original list..up to 18 now.
     
    Last edited: Nov 4, 2014
  19. Boob-No-More

    Boob-No-More Why you no hire big man coach?

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    Drinking Coors Light in any quantity is ill advised.

    BNM
     
  20. riverman

    riverman Writing Team

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    I was so glued to the game last night that my Guinness went flat and that NEVER happened before
     

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