OT Parents

Im so sorry Sly. I know exactly what you are feeling and where your mind is at right now. Sounds like you already made some hard decisions, but ones perhaps for the best.

I have been having a really hard time with grieving my mom this month. This is the first holidays without her. I miss her greatly.

Spend the rest of what time you can with your mother. Keep her comfortable.

I'm here if you need anything. If you need to PM me, call me, whatever....I'm here.

 

So sorry about this Sly. My dad had a TIA (when he was driving) and then a few other strokes within 6 months. Never had a big one, but I'm sure had he lived longer (or taken better care of himself as he was getting chemo and radiation) he would've probably ended up in a much worse situation stroke related.

The thing I've noticed is the most random things will remind you of what happened, and you'll feel yourself get sad or mad or lonely. It's been a while now, but I really haven't had that moment where I just break down. I think I was prepared for it, so it really never hit me. One thing to remember is to make sure you take care of yourself. I had friends telling me that all the time (can't say I did that actually...went to work literally 3 days later as an escape).

Even if you miss the chance to say your goodbyes (or is she's non responsive...my dad was the last day of his life), make sure you still talk to her, let her know you love her, etc.

I made sure to tell him I loved him. I had his brother and non local family call him and leave him messages on his phone that I could play for him. Hearing him try to verbalize a response to his brothers message was probably the hardest thing I've ever had to witness and try to be strong for. Still gets me a little teary-eyed just thinking about it. But I knew he needed to hear from his family (that couldn't visit), and they needed to say their goodbyes to him too.

Fuck. I might have to come back to this post and edit it, my allergies are kicking in randomly.

 

Thank you both so very much.

 

Mom passed this morning.

 

I'm so sorry John. My thoughts are with you and your family. When my mom passed back in January it hit me hard. I know though she went peacefully, and I got to be by her side. Losing a mom is one of toughest things I have ever been through. Still grieving all these months later. But, it gets better John. She will always be with you in spirit. She is part of you and will live on in your memories and everything you do. I know that doesn't make the pain any less so. Give your self time and let yourself feel and process it.

Anything you need I am here. To talk, to share stories, to have some drinks...on me....whatever you need. I'm here my friend.

 

Sorry about this, I know I felt like a part of me was gone when my dad died (still feel this way actually). Not necessarily an emotional hole, but kinda like when all of your friends you know from school are gone and you don't see them anymore. You remember what it's like to know them, but all the sudden they're gone.

I'd like to say it gets better, but I think it just gets....well, you get used to it ever so slightly each day. I hated seeing my dad suffer, even though it was self inflicted. I hated that my siblings and I became more of the parental role, but at the same time, we knew it was our duty, and privilege, to do that. But like I said, I hated seeing him become such a shell of himself, and at times, helpless. He threw a blood clot, had an afib, and was bed ridden...which was so strange considering he'd work 50+ hours a week every week of my childhood, up until he retired about 12 years ago and NEVER seemed tired or got sick.

Personally, I relish the pain and the sadness/weight of it. It means I remember him, and how much he did mean to me. If it ever becomes something I'm not sad about, I'll be a little upset because it means his death will not have any hold on me anymore.

 

RIP, SlyPokerMom.

barfomom and barfodad went to Davy Jones's locker decades ago. I tend to agree with julius - it becomes like a big painting on your wall - it's always there, it's still eye-catching, yet you don't always study it carefully every time you pass through the room.

barfo