Game Thread PLAYOFFS: ROUND 1, GAME 1: PELICANS @ BLAZERS - APRIL 14, 2018, SATURDAY, 7:30 PM PDT, ESPN & NBCSNW

Don't piss on Casey Holdahl's leg. It's not nice.

 

Brag on, shithead. That's right, I can't go.

 

Go ahead and piss on his leg, think of the entertainment.

 

Don't feel bad. I took him to a game, and all I got in return was a tumble over a row of seats.

 

You too?

 

Big day of basketball! Not only is it the first day of the 2018 NBA Playoffs, and the Trail Blazers first 2018 playoff game; it's also the Commonwealth Games mens basketball gold medal match! Australia v Canada! Tipoff is one hour before the Trail Blazers scheduled start, so I'll be watching the second half of Australia destroying Canada while watching the first half of the Trail Blazers beat New Orleans.

I doubt @speeds will be watching because he won't want to see the third string Australian team embarrass the second string Canadian team as they did in the pool game 95-55. I know @BlayZa won't be watching because New Zealand, who should have been in the gold medal game against Australia, were knocked out in the semi's by Canada.

Of interest to some Trail Blazers fans will be former OSU Beaver Angus Brandt suiting up for Australia. I also spotted former Trail Blazer Ike Diogu playing for his native Nigeria, but without Al-Farouq Aminu, and his brother, Nigeria were knocked out in the quarters by Scotland.

GO AUSTRALIA!!!

GO TRAIL BLAZERS!!!

 

Figures he would do that. He's a GS fan after all.

 

The Commonwealth Games? OMG, reserve a chair for me. Oh wait, I promised the old ladies in my neighborhood that I'd be free for a thrilling match at Canasta. Yep, we're having cucumber sandwiches for that big shindig.

 

I've gotten like 2 or maybe 3 t-shirts thrown to me in the 48 seasons I've gone to Blazer games. In fact, my wife caught one of them, so don't feel bad.

As for the prizes for your section or row, it's usually a useless key chain with a Toyota logo on it. Straight to the garbage bin.

 

As an Australian the Commonwealth Games are great! We get to show off our sporting superiority over the rest of the Commonwealth. We have won more gold medals than the next two nations combined! Really it's the only time (apart from cricket, and let's not mention the cricket right now) we behave in a manner as arrogant as you lot. Speaking of which, entry to the Commonwealth is open to all former British subjects, not that we want you.

 

Hey, hey, hey, I've got a Scottish last name.

 

The problem is that we need Jrue on the offensive side of the floor so we probably won't have him on Dame. That would probably leave Clark or Rondo on Dame along with help defense.

A huge part of our gameplan is to try to out-rebound you guys so we can get off on the break. We've played with the 2nd fastest pace in the NBA which gives us a lot of mismatches and easy buckets. I think the last time we played, yall had 27 second chance points. That's circled in red marker for the Pels to focus on tonight. If we are unable to get rebounds, and forced to play in the half-court, it'll be a long night for the Pels.

 

On a scale of 1-10 how turnt are you guys? 10 being liiiiiiiit

 

About to be a 3-5... got a nice pot pie I’ll be pairing with some hop-head beer.

 

And here I was feeling sorry for you and the whole Nike Hoop Summit ticket fiasco. NEVER AGAIN!