I've been married going on 30 years. My take is you see the grass is greener (or think so), but I suspect neither you or the girl from Seattle would be happy together for very long. Both would see greener grass elsewhere. That's been the pattern. The 30 years thing works because we've always been best friends as well as married. We never grew apart. I never thought of looking for another woman, I couldn't imagine one that would be a better match. My secret is I let my wife spend all the money. HCP's is long road trips, adult toys, and BeerBoy.
There are a couple of really smug long-timers in here. Just remember that not everybody gets to find love that lasts as easily as you do. Sometimes people cheat, get divorced a few times, finally get the one they want, and live happily ever after. It's pretty arrogant to condemn a guy to eternal failure just because he hasn't got it right yet. I'm a long-timer myself, but I hope I'm never that sanctimonious about it. When you forget how hard life could be if you didn't find that right one at that right time, it's easy to take the next step and take it all for granted. At the risk of blowing my Idaho Man bona fides, I'll quote Ursula LeGuin: Love doesn't just sit there, like a stone; it has to be made, like bread, remade all the time, made new.
Actually, I thought that part was incredibly sad. It'd be tough for me to respect somebody who forgave me for doing something like that.
I don't know, forgiveness like that is a beautiful thing. If a woman can forgive you for cheating on her for 3 years with another woman, she's got an awfully big heart.
Chris, just want to say there are a lot of good thoughts, a bit of self-righteousness, and 2 vulgar shitmouthed assholes who call themselves OddEnormous (as in enormous stupidity) and El Presidente (president of the asshole society). Too bad an attempt at a serious discussion, on anything, brings out the jerk in some boys, not that it has to travel far to emerge.
The comments in this thread have been helpful, enlightening, and for the posts from the shit-mouthed douchebags, entertaining. I appreciate everyone taking the time to respond. Whether or not my wife and I will emerge from all of this with our relationship intact or ended, it won't be from lack of effort at trying.
