Game Thread Sedatedfork does not suck at Kickball

Lanny · Jul 21, 2019

CupWizier said: ↑

Silly dog. Don't you know good dogs don't yap. Now go fetch my slippers.
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While you're at it, have him bring me my pipe. And tell him not slobber all over like he did the last time.

e_blazer · Jul 22, 2019

Sedatedfork said: ↑

So it turns out if you have been in trial for a week (I'm a lawyer), the perfect thing to do is play kickball for the first time in 30+ years. In the second game I was named player of the game. Let me describe this sports center-esque play (Na-na-na na-na-na). They put me in RF because I'm about 10 years older than them all, a bit overweight, and they assume I suck. The bases are loaded and there are two outs. A rather large man kicks the ball towards me in the air. Now these huge rubber balls are not easy to catch. They essentially bounce off of your hands unless you cradle the ball. I did not know this because I haven’t played in 30 frickin' years. I get my hands on this forceful laser in my direction. It bounces off of my right hand and actually propels me to essentially start twisting counterclockwise and falling backwards. The ball ever so slightly goes up in the air. I then in my periphery see the ball to my right as I’m falling in slow motion away from the ball. I hook my right arm and pin the ball against my right shoulder as if I was doing a biceps curl and then as I fall on to my back I roll the pinned ball onto my chest, cradling it with both hands. My hat and glasses go flying as I land on my back with a forceful thud. There are 4 fields at this event and everyone stops what they are doing to marvel in this unbelievable feat in body control and finesse. OK, maybe that’s a bit of an exaggeration, but everyone was in awe and cheered, OK??? We won 15-4. We sadly missed the playoffs by 1 run, but I had a blast and met a lot of new friends. I was named player of the game and I have no idea what such recognition entails, but when I find out I will let you all know.
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Amazing story, but you left out one essential detail: Have you filed suit yet against the "rather large man" for inflicting bodily injury upon you?

riverman · Jul 22, 2019

Chris Craig said: ↑

Kickball is the shit
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hence the term..."shitkicker"

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Game Thread Sedatedfork does not suck at Kickball

Lanny Original Season Ticket Holder "Mr. Big Shot"

e_blazer Rip City Fan

riverman Writing Team

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Game Thread Sedatedfork does not suck at Kickball

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Lanny Original Season Ticket Holder "Mr. Big Shot"

e_blazer Rip City Fan

riverman Writing Team

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