Had a girlfriend here in Portland while in the Army. Had to periodically go back to Ft. Lewis on Greyhound. One time I was boarding in a line. The line was moving slowly. So had my back toward the front and would periodically look over my shoulder to watch for the line moving. Had both my girlfriends hands in mine and not paying careful attention. Got to the front of the line. Reached into my right front pocket and pulled out my bus ticket and handed it to the driver. Was careful not to reach in my left pocket where I kept a prophylactic. Bus driver would not take my ticket, damn him. Turned around and realized the contents of the two pockets were reversed. I said to the driver "What am I doing?" and the driver replied "Yeah, I was wondering myself". I can top that. My mother started a charity for Dornbecker children's hospital. At the year's end she through this celebration at Beaverton's Nendel's. At the banquet she went around the very very long table introducing me to everyone. A little more than half way around this guy says "Psst, your fly is open." Okay, someone top that. I knew it was to much for you poor ordinary people to top.
Assistant principal fired after reading children’s book to class He read "I Need a NEW BUTT". I don't think he should have been fired!