Alright guys and gals headed to the hospital for my hiatal hernia surgery (Nissen Fundoplication). I am dying already. Can't have my morning coffee. The surgery will be four hours long. Wish me well.
Of course, I wish you well. Holy crap! Do you mean to say that my inside guts look like that thing in Alien? OMG, does it have teeth dripping with goo?
Good luck, Chris. May you have a successful surgery, heal quickly, and feel much better for having had the procedure.
Hope you come out better than ever! By the way, while you were out........the Blazers traded Dame to the my......errrrrrr.......the Lakers. Sorry bro.
More morphine, please. Also, a little tender care from the better looking nurses might improve the healing.
Lookie here, he doesn't have low blood pressure, he needs a good belly laugh to get that hernia healing. I'll bet it's good for the stitches.
Surgery went well. Got it just in time. The Dr said my esophagus was so damaged it was at the beginning stages of throat cancer. Feeling like shit. But I am alive. Got me as comfortable as they can in a private room. Bout to have some broth. No solid foods for two weeks. Yay
Are you kidding? 1. I get very little relief from morphine and now I am medically prohibited from taking it along with a dozen other pain relievers; 2. My wife would pack her bags and head out the door faster than you can say lickety-split if I ever did anything with another woman. Now, I live for my wife so I'd never do anything to give her cause to pack her bags. Besides, she's still the most beautiful woman in the world to me and I have zero prurient interest in any other women. Okay, I know you're kidding but I threw that out there for the benefit of others who might not know me very well. In the meantime, I'll keep my pain killer to the bourbon Sly smuggles into the hospital for me. I'll keep my fanny pats reserved for only the best looking nurses. One point that needs to be made, with the looks of most of the VA nurses there'll be very little fanny patting. Besides, I think most of them could beat me in an arm wrestle or any other kind of wrestling.
Private room, you say? Tell them to put you back in the general population like the rest of us. I always get someone who just had their hip replaced and then moaned, whined and cried all night, or a guy who had a heart attack in the bed next to me, or someone who snores loudly, or some dickhead who insists on playing their TV too loud all night long or someone making a highly personal phone call so loud that I can't avoid hearing it or somebody that bitches all the time about the food, about the doctors, about the pharmacy, about the nurses, etc. etc. etc. Treasure your private room like the treasure that it is.
