The Blazer Rap

Discussion in 'Portland Trail Blazers' started by Orion Bailey, Aug 14, 2015.

  1. Chris Craig

    Chris Craig (Blazersland) I'm Your Huckleberry Staff Member Global Moderator Moderator

    Joined:
    Jun 25, 2015
    Messages:
    53,668
    Likes Received:
    54,765
    Trophy Points:
    113
    I must confess I was not there to see Walton fly by
    Sky high, dunk it and make Jabar cry
    But I did see Clyde Glide in the MC
    He could make steals so fast its frightnin'
    Get to the other side of the court like grease lightin'
    I saw the enforcer enforce
    And Sheed get T'd
    So many times I thought he and the referees would get a divorce
    I saw Aryvidas hook it from three
    Without knees
    I saw the western conference finals every time we made it in the ninetees
    I saw all the first round exits, the misses, the handing over the keys
    To so many new GMS and coaches, I couldn't believe
    After every season my hope was ripped from me
    The pain in my side was so intense, I thought I might need an appendectomy
    I wanted to scream and punch my wall, felt like I lost someone in my family
    I realized the pain was really in my heart, I couldn't stop the bleed.
    Until the next day, anyway
    Then all seemed to be ok
    After all there is always the next season to look foward to
    Cause when you a true Blazer fan your never through
     
  2. BrianFromWA

    BrianFromWA Editor in Chief Staff Member Editor in Chief

    Joined:
    Sep 9, 2008
    Messages:
    26,060
    Likes Received:
    9,014
    Trophy Points:
    113
    I had no idea this thread existed.
     
    riverman and Orion Bailey like this.
  3. Chris Craig

    Chris Craig (Blazersland) I'm Your Huckleberry Staff Member Global Moderator Moderator

    Joined:
    Jun 25, 2015
    Messages:
    53,668
    Likes Received:
    54,765
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Last season the Blazers had it all figured out
    It was finally our time in rip city no doubt
    Then Matthews went down, clowned his Achilles
    The pressure was to much for Afflalo, but I don't blame him that shits silly
    It was just a bad time with no rhyme or rhythm
    Without our heart there was just no winning algorithm
    We fell without our security in the standings to near obscurity
    And with another quick exit, the plan fell apart with fear and uncertainty
    With number twelve jumping ship, trades, and free agent accolades
    We decided to go with younger players who will drink the Gatorade
    Care more about chamipoships, then mansions and escalades
    We still got Dame to lead the way, and we can always pray
    We have good players potentially, if this experiment works out eventually
    Things will be looking up for the Blazers exponentially
    We just have to wait and see
    We can do all the guessing we want to, will we do bad or won't we
    Opinions are like assholes and lips everybodys got one
    In the end it doesn't matter what we say because the results ain't got none
    So sit back and watch these young guys play, it may be nasty
    When we lose there will be no amnesty
    But when we win, we'll destroy
    And show the other team the difference between tragedy and travesty
     
  4. Orion Bailey

    Orion Bailey Forum Troll

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2015
    Messages:
    26,285
    Likes Received:
    21,506
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Yo Yo, @ChrisCraig This ones for you. ;)


    *Tap, Tap, Tap* the microphone...

    "Whas up fools??? Back by popular demand is the rip city two rappoff!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

    So with that said, lets get this party started, seee....
    We all high on a Lillard time suite
    Dame dollars droppin threes
    Bringing us to our knees
    Oh man how sweet was that suite??????

    You got GrlChz eating HCP's nachos, cause he was a no show, hope it wasn't cause of me ya know?
    Wookies pregame 12 pack of coors light, still sober at half time despite...
    Good ole Hailblazers eyes fluttering romantically at Homer...Had to hide his damn boner
    Then there was Strenous, who came a bit nervous, not sure who to root for.
    He came in black and red but a hoodie with OKC blue.... that whore!!!
    KJironman a master of analysis, sitting there getting pissed....
    three quarters of the game it took him to figure out how to post a pic!!!
    And with a one, a two a three lets say, Bbert and Marsi ,were pretty intense this day...
    While some of us were hootin and hollering and getting drunk,
    they were eyes glued to the court saying to the rest of us, what the fuck, pay attention you punks... watch the damn game!!!
    And this!!!!: Slys shit eating grin when he realized the ball he was about to try to steal, was really a gift for him!!!
    S2 is so cool we even had a celeb drop by. No King didnt make it, but John Goodman poked his head in and said hi!!!
    Man, some seriously good times and I'm sad that there are some of you who Ive missed.
    We need more time, the time flew by and for that im pissed.
    But a night to never forget and thats the truth...Can we please do it again really soon??? Ill help pay, cause this was fuckin cool!!!!



    Okay... lame... more like a shitty poem than a rap, but what can I say... the thread went to archives and im rusty. ;)

    Who's next. You got game? You wanna play? Time to step up Mr. Chris Craig!!!
     
  5. Orion Bailey

    Orion Bailey Forum Troll

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2015
    Messages:
    26,285
    Likes Received:
    21,506
    Trophy Points:
    113
    The most melodic fart ever....






    That ones for you Sly!!! ;)
     
    Chris Craig, PDXFonz and SlyPokerDog like this.
  6. BonesJones

    BonesJones https://www.youtube.com/c/blazersuprise

    Joined:
    May 7, 2015
    Messages:
    44,424
    Likes Received:
    38,456
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    Vancouver, WA
    I thought we were friends:bored:
     
    Orion Bailey likes this.
  7. PDXFonz

    PDXFonz I’m listening

    Joined:
    Jul 2, 2013
    Messages:
    18,724
    Likes Received:
    15,243
    Trophy Points:
    113
     
    Orion Bailey and BonesJones like this.
  8. BonesJones

    BonesJones https://www.youtube.com/c/blazersuprise

    Joined:
    May 7, 2015
    Messages:
    44,424
    Likes Received:
    38,456
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    Vancouver, WA
    I'm feelin it
     
  9. PDXFonz

    PDXFonz I’m listening

    Joined:
    Jul 2, 2013
    Messages:
    18,724
    Likes Received:
    15,243
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Life up in the arena moves fast you see
    Blink your eyes and hear Mark shouting "For threee"
    Dame Dolla's making buckets and handing out change
    AC from deep you know he's found that range
    CJ drive and dish as he weaves around trees
    Spots the open Meyers no pump fakes please
    Chief has arrived and he's leading the tribe
    Harkless off the bench man he's feeling the vibe
    Phys Ed with the hustle has the glass on lock
    Tim Frazier on the break looks to pass the rock
    Pat bringing us luck as we try and take the crown
    Alexander rises up with the 1 handed throw down
    Hendo's stroke is pure, Blazers take the lead
    The vet Chris Kaman brings the humor indeed
    Noah with the hook and his shots got arc
    Montero's engine running as the cars in park
    Last but not least Plums bringing intensity
    Y'all already know this is how we do it in Rip City
     
    Last edited: Jan 11, 2016
    Orion Bailey, BBert, Strenuus and 2 others like this.
  10. Chris Craig

    Chris Craig (Blazersland) I'm Your Huckleberry Staff Member Global Moderator Moderator

    Joined:
    Jun 25, 2015
    Messages:
    53,668
    Likes Received:
    54,765
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Steps up to the mike:

    Ooh Shit, ah here we go
    Almost signed a non disclosure but no
    Neil's plan is still unknown
    But we got a suite
    Slypokerdog his media throne

    Met up at the bartenderless bowling alley
    Running up a tab with some of the crew
    what's the tally
    Slypokerdog dog dropping jack and cokes like water
    Telling some hardcore jokes leading us to slaughter
    When he and Streneus leave the rest of us talk about how we are all proud fathers
    In the middle of packer land, but no bother
    Who knew Hailblazer and Homer were fine beer conniseurs
    All these jokes bout Wookie and his affinity for Coors

    Homer the only one there Rocking Blazer gear, while near Hailblazer and Streneus try to explain their color schemes
    In truth were just all dreaming the big dream
    The suite life and Dame threes
    We all throw our money down like big G's
    And walk out that place like we own it
    Hold the door for a lady, hope the female race don't disown us

    Into the car
    It's not far
    The center formally known as the Rose Garden
    Slydogs trophy in my lap I'm guardin'
    I won't forsake it
    Hailblazers nagging like my wife from the wheel...don't break it
    Discussing whether we should try to win this season or tank it

    VIP access to the suite level no lines
    Just security that's fine
    Treating us like bone thugs
    VIP style no gloves from behind
    Before they scan our ticket to heaven
    In suite 18 is my brethren
    I enter to beers and cheers in totality
    A room full of nerds in reality
    I can't say much more because of legalities

    Halftime cues us harking on Adam B
    Wook and I calling out his name like he's the next contestant, till he looks we aren't gonna let him be.
    Finally he raises his hands up
    Says "What!?"
    We say hi, its a riot
    Though Bjaranson didn't seem to buy it

    The second half is all but boring
    Both teams playin hard
    They are both scoring, back and forth
    The crowds and us roaring

    Here comes the fourth
    OKC leading
    But have no fear Dame Dollar will have them pleading
    Dropping threes like griddles on a hot grill
    One after another with some sizzle
    What a thrill
    Leaving OKC with a puzzle
    There is no choice but timeout
    Let grow their seed of doubt
    In their huddle they can pout
    while I drink my Stout

    Have no fear Blazer fans
    Dames a three point assassin
    Trimming the deficit faster than you can ask him
    Before we know it we are on our feet in the suite,
    enjoying the sweet taste of victory
    An epic game, OKC is history

    Celebrating and embracing
    Blazer fans at their hardcorest
    In suite 18 we know what the score is
    Fuck the draftpick the chorus
    Cause this hangover, the rest is a fog
    Oh yeah
    MVP Slypokerdog
     
  11. Chris Craig

    Chris Craig (Blazersland) I'm Your Huckleberry Staff Member Global Moderator Moderator

    Joined:
    Jun 25, 2015
    Messages:
    53,668
    Likes Received:
    54,765
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Dame Time (x3)
    Is there an echo in here
    It's underdog have no fear
    Dame came to play you best stand clear
    Think you can stop him how deranged
    Hes breaking ankles from 3point range
    So bad
    Westbrook needs a name change

    Should be a four point play
    But refs got no respect no way
    That shits straight up machivallian
    If this was a James Bond film
    They'd be the villan

    It's gametime
    And Dame time is thrillin'
    I'm getting vertigo
    From all the threes that he's drillin'
    I can't believe that the away team
    Thinks they're still in it

    He's trimming the deficit faster then
    Obama, setting a precident
    Dame for president
    I'll vote for him before Trump or Hillary
    Without hesitance

    Dame Time(x3)
    I think I hear that echo
    Off the ceiling where the jerseys are hanging, just let go
    and let it in
    Dame Time just won the game again
    So lift up your chin,
    shout it out
    Be proud to be a Blazer fan
    cause Dame Dollars got our back no doubt
     
    Last edited: Jan 12, 2016
    PDXFonz and Orion Bailey like this.
  12. Orion Bailey

    Orion Bailey Forum Troll

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2015
    Messages:
    26,285
    Likes Received:
    21,506
    Trophy Points:
    113

    Oh shit!!! Sounds like Chris Craig Time right now!!!!! Someones competing for Lillard time!!! Damn!
     
    Chris Craig likes this.
  13. PDXFonz

    PDXFonz I’m listening

    Joined:
    Jul 2, 2013
    Messages:
    18,724
    Likes Received:
    15,243
    Trophy Points:
    113
    We traded the Thrill but still keepin it real
    The boy Dame Lillard with the shots to kill
    Cav, Piston, Rocket or Buck
    He'll put you down without giving a ...
    Second thought as he rises up for 3
    Showing why we call it Rip City

    Best fans in the league
    Yeah that's no contest
    Representing the cause
    As Dame puts em to rest
     
    Last edited: Jan 12, 2016
    Orion Bailey and Chris Craig like this.
  14. Chris Craig

    Chris Craig (Blazersland) I'm Your Huckleberry Staff Member Global Moderator Moderator

    Joined:
    Jun 25, 2015
    Messages:
    53,668
    Likes Received:
    54,765
    Trophy Points:
    113
    They called us a mediocrity
    Well shit our GM must be Socrates
    Said we'd were young guns
    Who had have no wins but lots o fun
    Little did they know
    Were a bomb bout to go off
    And steal the show

    Who cares that we lost most our starters
    The NBA is getting younger,
    The Lakers are fakers,
    And I think Kobes wearing a garter
    Meanwhile there's no team who's worked harder
    All that sweat and blood to prove were real
    and we have climbed the ladder
    And turned in to something that matters
    Because of Neil

    It's not the size of the dog in the fight
    It's the size of the fight in the dog
    And though we might look like a chiauwau were a fucking doberman
    Ready to bite back
    Attack
    On the fast break
    Dame to Harkless
    Highlight reel, make the rim shake
    Another triple for 3J
    A posters not good enough
    I think they need an x-ray
    Get that defense out of here that shits flimsy
    Davis will show you the right way
    Knock that ball out the MC
    Crabbe will always be our 6th man
    Gerald our layup hitman
    Hell I can't tell if Vonlehs gonna be king Kong or greased lightning
    Leonard is starting to rebound
    Man that shits enlightening

    Every players got a chip on their shoulder
    Shits about to get strange like those aliens
    Keeping the truth from fox mulder
    Were about to destroy and conquer
    We are doing so good its starting to make Adam silver go bonkers

    Guess I've got nothin left but to be thankin
    All those who said we should be
    tankin
    Cause it's been nothing but but ammo
    For the Blazers chemistry viscosity
    Whammo
    Like super glue were hanging high
    To the nbas animosity
    Unlike those other so called sho-ins we don't take a day off
    And san antoinio that's why we'll see you ass in the first round of the playoffs
     
    SlyPokerDog likes this.
  15. Orion Bailey

    Orion Bailey Forum Troll

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2015
    Messages:
    26,285
    Likes Received:
    21,506
    Trophy Points:
    113
    You know what Chris, I'm not even gonna have a competition or anything. Ive officially nominated you to write lyrics for a Blazers song I have in the works. PM me your email and I will send a rough draft version to you to get you a feel for it. Ill have it ready in a couple hours, as I need ot send it to a couple others who might be working on it as well. Just doing some minor editing on some initial tracks. Now we just need another rapper, unless you can rock the mic! ;)
     
    Chris Craig likes this.
  16. BlazerWookee

    BlazerWookee UNTILT THE DAMN PINWHEEL!

    Joined:
    Sep 16, 2008
    Messages:
    12,802
    Likes Received:
    5,924
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Occupation:
    Gear Finisher
    Location:
    Lebanon, Oregon
  17. Chris Craig

    Chris Craig (Blazersland) I'm Your Huckleberry Staff Member Global Moderator Moderator

    Joined:
    Jun 25, 2015
    Messages:
    53,668
    Likes Received:
    54,765
    Trophy Points:
    113

    Sent you a pm... Be glad to work on some lyrics man...I might even be motivated to pic up a mic...all I got I've got say is appreciate the respect
     
  18. Orion Bailey

    Orion Bailey Forum Troll

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2015
    Messages:
    26,285
    Likes Received:
    21,506
    Trophy Points:
    113
    How come when I search for this thread using the title and/or portions of the title, it doesn't show up? I had to sift through my likes to find this thread. :)

    With that said, yes. Its time once again you heathens. You disciples of the Blazer Flame of hell we shall instill upon all competition.

    WHy? Cause we have the (soon to be) best leader ever in the game...that's right. His name is Dame.

    So you ready to throw down, or you just gonna go down?

    Studio is put back together and man im itching like a silty feather. Its time to complete the Blazer theme from the zeros so we can pass it along to our heros.

    You got game? Not looking for fame, just a little competition that isn't lame.

    Dame at the Crystal Ballroom. Did you go? I didn't... what a fool thinking it wasn't for me, i'm not cool. Shiiiit. Ida had a blast, I can tell now, cause that Dame works fast. Ida had to give him a bow.

    Okay after reading, there is definitely some rust to dust off, but its not even preseason, let alone the playoffs, so who's down for round two? Or are all of you sitting scared in your chairs like glue?
     
  19. Orion Bailey

    Orion Bailey Forum Troll

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2015
    Messages:
    26,285
    Likes Received:
    21,506
    Trophy Points:
    113
  20. BigGameDamian

    BigGameDamian Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2012
    Messages:
    29,721
    Likes Received:
    11,397
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Why does it have to be rap & hip hop all the time? Why can't it be load screaming head banging music?
     
    BBert likes this.

Share This Page