The official Jusuf Nurkic facts thread

Discussion in 'Portland Trail Blazers' started by Mediocre Man, Mar 29, 2017.

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  1. bodyman5000 and 1

    bodyman5000 and 1 Lions, Tigers, Me, Bears

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    This one's a little off color...read at your discretion.

    Nurk's dad took him to the brothel on Nurk's 14th birthday because he thought it was time to make him a man.


    14 children ages 8 or less walked up to Jusuf and said "hi dad"
     
    bodyman5000 and 1, Jul 6, 2017
    #201
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  2. bodyman5000 and 1

    bodyman5000 and 1 Lions, Tigers, Me, Bears

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    Shit, like this one better. Still off color...same 14 year old Nurk

    When Nurk and his Dad walked into the brothel, the 6'8" tall 300 lb bouncer saw Jusuf and said "hi dad"
     
    bodyman5000 and 1, Jul 6, 2017
    #202
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  3. julius

    julius I wonder if there's beer on the sun Staff Member Global Moderator

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    Nurk has a history of kidney stones. He passed one last week. We call it the hope diamond.
     
    julius, Jul 6, 2017
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  4. dviss1

    dviss1 Emcee Referee

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    Reviving this thread.

    Nurkic was about to send an email when he realized it'd be faster to run.
     
    dviss1, Aug 1, 2017
    #204
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  5. Mediocre Man

    Mediocre Man Mr. SportsTwo

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    This thread has more facts than the Melo thread
     
    Mediocre Man, Aug 1, 2017
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  6. dviss1

    dviss1 Emcee Referee

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    Nurk doesn't have normal white blood cells like you and I. His have a small black ring around them.
    This signifies that they are black belts in every form of martial arts and they kick the shit out of viruses.

    That's why Nurkic never gets sick.
     
    dviss1, Aug 1, 2017
    #206
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  7. bodyman5000 and 1

    bodyman5000 and 1 Lions, Tigers, Me, Bears

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    Nurk was going to star in Pacific Rim 2 because it would be cheaper having him play a giant badass than using CGI.

    On the first day of filming the director fired him because the movie had to be 2 hours and nobody would believe it would take Nurk that long to kick ass.
     
    bodyman5000 and 1, Aug 1, 2017
    #207
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  8. e_blazer

    e_blazer Rip City Fan

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    The North Koreans will never target Portland out of fear that Nurk would catch the warhead and throw it back at them.
     
    e_blazer, Aug 1, 2017
    #208
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  9. PtldPlatypus

    PtldPlatypus Let's go Baby Blazers! Staff Member Global Moderator Moderator

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    Obviously the Plumlee-to-Denver deal was actually orchestrated by the US military as deployment of their Pacific Missile Defense Strategy (since we all know Olshey was only interested in the draft pick).
     
    PtldPlatypus, Aug 1, 2017
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  10. dviss1

    dviss1 Emcee Referee

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    Hahaha! Nice one!
     
    dviss1, Aug 1, 2017
    #210
  11. RipCityDSCPL

    RipCityDSCPL Could be worse, at least it's not Lonzo.

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    ......I feel like there is something missing.....

    .............

    .........hmmmmm..... Oh I know!

    ...and walked around naked for the rest of her life.

    Your welcome.:ygrin:
     
    Last edited: Aug 2, 2017
    RipCityDSCPL, Aug 2, 2017
    #211
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  12. dviss1

    dviss1 Emcee Referee

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    Nurk invented a language that incorporates boxing and roundhouse kicks.
    So next time Jusuf is kicking your ass, don't be offended or hurt, he may be just trying to tell you he likes your hat.
     
    dviss1, Aug 2, 2017
    #212
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  13. dviss1

    dviss1 Emcee Referee

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    Google won't search for Nurkic because it knows you don't find Nurkic, he finds you.
     
    dviss1, Aug 2, 2017
    #213
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  14. dviss1

    dviss1 Emcee Referee

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    Jusuf Nurkic is never late. Time just understands that it needs to settle the fuck down...
     
    dviss1, Aug 2, 2017
    #214
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  15. Reep

    Reep Well-Known Member

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    Ah, a Nurklear deterrent. Can't wait to see him go Nurklear in a game.
     
    Reep, Aug 2, 2017
    #215
  16. PDXFonz

    PDXFonz I’m listening

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    Nurkic's son is Father Time.
     
    PDXFonz, Aug 2, 2017
    #216
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  17. Minstrel

    Minstrel Top Of The Pops Global Moderator

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    Nurkic once played basketball so well, he got paid for it.
     
    Minstrel, Aug 2, 2017
    #217
  18. dviss1

    dviss1 Emcee Referee

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    For most, the left testicle is larger than the right one.

    For Nurkic, each testicle is larger than the other one.
     
    dviss1, Aug 2, 2017
    #218
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  19. dviss1

    dviss1 Emcee Referee

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    Life gave Nurkic lemons, the MF made orange juice! :blink:
     
    dviss1, Aug 2, 2017
    #219
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  20. stampedehero

    stampedehero Make Your Day, a Doobies Day Staff Member Moderator

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    AARP members usually get in trouble like this. lol
     
    stampedehero, Aug 2, 2017
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