Exclusive The official what each player will be for the entire season based off of 1 preseason game thread

Discussion in 'Portland Trail Blazers' started by Mediocre Man, Oct 9, 2019.

  1. Mediocre Man

    Mediocre Man Mr. SportsTwo

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    Dame: stamina could be a real concern. 15 minutes is all he could go? Hey, Dame, less diss tracks and more stair master.

    CJ: shooting 25% on 3s is unacceptable. Should have never gave you that extension.

    Whiteside: 0 blocks. I thought you were supposed to be this great rim protector? I guess the rumors that you are a pouty, unmotivated player are true.

    Collins: Meyers fucking Leonar_ had 5 more rebounds than you tonight. Did we get rid of the wrong big white stiff?

    Hood: like The HCPs wedding night.......Uneventful. running around and doing nothing doesn't make you an NBA player, it makes you my alcoholic father

    Bazemore: I took a shot everytime you took a shot and missed. This hangover is brutal. I'll bill you for rehab around all-star break.

    Tolliver: I'm glad you like Portland. WE HATE YOU. The ball is supposed to go IN the basket.

    Skal: Is there such a thing as a bad looking 2-8?

    Little: So important to the coaching staff, the fans had to remind them to play you in the 4th quarter.

    Hezonja: Totally reminded me of Drazen out there. BECAUSE you wore his number. Nothing else

    Trent: Beg the NCAA to grant you another year of eligibility, or learn a trade.

    Simons: Simon says brick
     
  2. ripcity67

    ripcity67 Active Member

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    Wow, somebody has their cranky pants on today.
     
  3. TorturedBlazerFan

    TorturedBlazerFan Well-Known Member

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    Mediocre Man: No stopping him, in the off season he’s in mid-season form. Bringing posts that are so brilliant, and stupid, so amazing, so uninspiring it always brings out the mediocre!
     
  4. theprunetang

    theprunetang Bow down before Simons; basketball Jesus.

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    Comedy gold.
     
  5. andalusian

    andalusian Season - Restarted

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    I am just worried that you emptied the chamber prematurely. Otherwise, nice.
     
  6. theprunetang

    theprunetang Bow down before Simons; basketball Jesus.

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    Just read this in David Letterman's voice and pretend it is in the format of his old "top 10" skits. Perfect.
     
  7. CupWizier

    CupWizier Well-Known Member

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    Someone needs attention this morning?
     
  8. THE HCP

    THE HCP NorthEastPortland'sFinest

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    I love MM so much.
    The only thing that would have mad this better is if you had done it in podcast form.
     
  9. Mediocre Man

    Mediocre Man Mr. SportsTwo

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    I haven't prematurely emptied the chamber since high school
     
  10. HailBlazers

    HailBlazers Ride the REmerge

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    Horse and buggy days!
     
  11. Mediocre Man

    Mediocre Man Mr. SportsTwo

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    thats-not-how-this-works-thats-notihow-any-of-thisworks-35558462.png
     
  12. TorturedBlazerFan

    TorturedBlazerFan Well-Known Member

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    Nor has the chamber been emptied since HS!
     
  13. Mediocre Man

    Mediocre Man Mr. SportsTwo

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    I knew these damn kids of mine looked an awful lot like Ruben Patterson
     
  14. TorturedBlazerFan

    TorturedBlazerFan Well-Known Member

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    :biglaugh:
     
  15. theprunetang

    theprunetang Bow down before Simons; basketball Jesus.

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    MM is on a roll today. Keep it going.
     
    TorturedBlazerFan likes this.
  16. Mediocre Man

    Mediocre Man Mr. SportsTwo

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    And get all that attention?
     
  17. andalusian

    andalusian Season - Restarted

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    In this case, we have a great season ahead of us!
     
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  18. riverman

    riverman Writing Team

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    First genuine reverse jinx thread since mags was around.....made me laugh MM...well done!
     
  19. oldmangrouch

    oldmangrouch persona non grata

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    Based on this game, I predict that all of these players will be seen wearing red and black uniforms - unless/until they are traded to a team that wears different colors.
     
  20. SlyPokerDog

    SlyPokerDog Woof! Staff Member Administrator

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    I think I found MM's twitter account.

    [​IMG]
     

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