Things You Did While High or Drunk

Fall down flights of stairs

 

Screwed a fat chick while I was blacked out. Two years later that fat chick became a hot little dime piece. Oh damn

 

I got drunk on Stella and gin and tonics in the Vancouver airport on my way to Damascus via Amsterdam. I had a 3 hour layover and I was toasted with about 30 minutes to board my plane. So I stumble over to the counter to get my boarding pass and the time my plane leaves says "tomorrow." I am utterly confused and freaking out. I don't really remember what happens next, but the next 3 hours were spent running to every corner of that goddamn airport, speaking to every kind of Asian that has ever existed (all with varying levels of English), and cursing every 15 seconds. By the end of it, I had bought a new ticket, somehow found my luggage to check it in with the new airline and made a mad, all out dash to the loading terminal to catch my new flight. I was soaked in sweat, reeking of booze and panting furiously by the time I got on the plane, and everyone gave me the stink-eye because I had held them up. To this day, I cannot remember how I accomplished all that I did, because I was falling down drunk when I did it.

On the day of the draft when we took Greg, I was in Damascus. I was going to stay up until about 3am so I could listen to an online radio feed. So, I went to the old town and got drunk on cans of Heineken (the best beer the entire country has to offer, unfortunately) and then drunkenly stumbled my way through getting a cab for a ride back to the neighborhood I was staying in, Mezzeh. I went to the local internet cafe and drunkenly stumbled my way through a conversation about how there was no electricity. I was too drunk to remember that there are rolling blackouts every night (lol syria is poor) and so I hopped from internet cafe to internet cafe because I HAD to listen to the draft. Thank god they were all 24 hours, and Syrians generally stay up all damn night anyway. So each time I leave, I pick up a cup of juice or a shwarma or something because I am druuuunk. Eventually, I go back to the cafe near my apartment and I am loaded full of sugar and beer and the electricity is back on. I listen to the draft and it's done at about 4:30am. I'm dead fucking tired and feel like vomiting. I stumble back to my apartment building and it's locked. The key to my door didn't unlock the main door. So I slept on the street. That was awesome.

Once, from ages 16-22, I smoked a lot of pot and generally stayed indoors and wasted a lot of time. Not that fun.

 

Lies.

 

OMG....This guy I know has sixteen year old twin boys. They live in Milwaukie. One of them had the hots for a Lake Oswego girl and thought he'd take the trestle to go visit her. He almost made it. Train came when he was on the trestle. He couldn't jump into the river. Train had to make an emergency stop on the bridge and rescue the kid who was hanging over the side. They took him to the Brooklyn yards and the cops came and he was arrested for felony trespass.

 

Rode my bike over that trestle many a time for the same reason (my girlfriend, not yours, and thank god we went our separate ways eventually), and one time a train came and my buddy and me were out on the end of the ties with our bikes hanging on for dear life.

We were about 14 and weren't high or drunk, but that's probably why I can post about it now.

Used to catch some monsterous catfish under that trestle.

 

Darwin fucked up

 

I don't have any "badass" stories.

 

Cool beans!

My buddies and I used to love hanging out in that support area under the tracks about halfway across the river. We thought we was bad, man................

 

"lets go vandalize some shit".

I just dont understand that way of thinking.

 

Neither do I, but we did it. It's a teenage way of thinking I guess.

 

yeah, we did the same thing.

 

I also eat a fuck load.

 

3am nachos!

 

I take it you've never gotten your tip wet and are just jealous?

 

God, way too many things.

I don't really get drunk too much, and definitely don't get intoxicated enough to do stupid things. I go to the bar once every one or two weeks, but usually don't drink more than 2 shots and a drink.

But drugs... wow. I used to love drugs (lol). In high school I wasn't all that crazy under the influence of weed.... skate parks and grocery stores is where we went. I once went to my GFs house while high... it was so awkward because I felt like her parents knew it from the moment I stepped in, but noone knew until I told her a couple months ago.

My drug of choice was definitely percocets and coke though (I know i'm bad). I went to a super bowl party high (with my friend). My friend got cracked out and went down to the bar and started selling off our bag for extremely little money so I had to chase him down there and stop it, then we walked back 2 miles to his apartment at like 3 in the morning.

The worst story I ever heard was when he (my friend who went through this with my over a year ago) was walking home from a bar after buying lots of drugs (he already started doin' 'em) and he saw cops and split up from a group, and they got pulled over. So he went into a back alley and out the other way and saw a cop car come toward him, so he downed a 20 of coke, a couple X pills (I forget how many) and some Vicodin so the cops couldn't find it. I didn't see him for over a week as he thought he ODd and left a goodbye note to his brother (who he was living with) and then took off and stayed at a hotel for a week incredibly high (doing more I suppose... amazingly) until I finally tracked him down and brought him back to his apt. That was a horrible experience.

Eventually he went to rehab though, and we are good now. Not doing drugs anymore. But I can go on with stories forever because we'd usually be out for most of the night, and gettin' the drugs was always almost as exciting as doing them for us. It wasn't a bad life, but I screwed myself over cash wise.

Oh, and the crash sucks, almost makes the whole experience not worth it.

LOL I used to do that (ou t of a pop can) all the time. Funny stuff.

 

Here's a hard lesson I learned in college: When you're 19, never cross the NY/Ontario border with a bunch of buddies as drunk as you are, fill up a van full of Canadian beer and then give the border guard a hard time on your way back to the States.

 

i ran a train on my friends mom in ukiah california when i was 15 drunk as shit.

once i had gotten a couple quarters of meth drunk as fuck, i was bringing one to my co-worker at the subway in gresham. i pinched a little out of his and put it in mine for the finders fee, but i accidentally gave him the big one. he was talking about how he used to do it all the time blah blah blah, and before i could notice/stop him, he snorted the whole quarter in one big line, right on a table in the dining area. needless to say he fucking lost his mind and was throwing up on himself for a couple days.

i got in a huge argument with some random girl at a house party because i told her to shut the fuck up because i spilled her drink and she was pissed. she had to be restrained from fucking clawing my face and shit. we hooked up in the bathroom an hour later, and her boyfriend kicked my ass VERY emphatically an hour after that.

i ate so much acid that i threw up this sort of bright brown bile substance all over my shirt and i was too fucked up to realize there was alot more than i thought.

i got drunk and was smoking crack with a few pals in portland, one of them owed me some money, and i nearly choked the life out of him. literally.

i never really liked vandalism or stealing/robbing when i was high, that kind of shit, i always got a bad feeling before i did it for some reason. maybe im a big pussy.

me and my buddy mike cook used to huff butane gas that we would steal from the store, its really cold so it would make your voice really low and strange sounding. my friend was in the middle of blowing his out when i whipped out my lighter and burned off all his eyelashes and scorched a good portion of his eyebrows in a fairly large fireball.

one time my friend jerimiahs girlfriend dumped him and we were chilling in the stoner park by 7/11getting high and drunk when some random preppies sort of appeared and started taking hits off our bowl with out contributing much to our good time. one of them stole my lighter and when no one fessed up my friend jumped the one with the attitude and started fucking him up. of course this left me with 3 or 4 guys sort of eyeing me, but still watching their friend get beat down, and when one of them jumped into the fight it was on. 10 of my other friends were meeting up with us and walking up the path and one pulled a pellet gun he had on him and they were so concerned with him i was swinging freely. i broke my hand and split my lip and my eyebrow, but those dudes probably got grounded when they got home, if they made it home. broken noses/missing teeth/etc, not to mention grass stains on all their guess jeans.

truthfully at this point it is all pretty fuzzy in my memory, but thats off the top of my head.

 

you're my new hero.