Discussion in 'Blazers OT Forum' started by Stevenson, Jan 20, 2020.
Where are you @riverman? We miss you buddy!
Sly probably banned him.
Oh, wait, he hates Trump so that's not it.
I've been wondering that also.
I heard from him yesterday
Probably tired of the trumpers like many are.
PROBABLY ON A FUCKING VACATION LIKE Y'ALL NEED
To all my friends here for many years, I always said if I left this forum I'd avoid the farewell tour...I left after aggressive negative drama was being tossed around here like a salad...won't mention names but there are some regulars here that in my view have made this place unbearable...I've been dealing with some health issues...just had my heart restarted on Friday morning and the meds I'm on affect my mood...found less and less humor and healthy engagement around here and decided to enjoy the Blazers as a fan without the doom and gloom..insults got serious in nature to the point that people actually went after a really nice guy's job with the Organization and took screen shots of his posts...I was asked to fuck off and told by a couple of guys how sick they are of me and my opinions.....these are things I don't need around my life...I pm with a few friends here and skim through some threads but don't need negative shit around my life anymore so....I decided to bow out and give it up. This place is supposed to be fun and well......I haven't enjoyed much for a long stretch here. Time to take a long vacation for sure. I always wanted to make folks smile and hand out likes like Halloween candy but the place in my view has changed into a shit stirring contest. I'll continue to read content here, just not engage in the public forum....I pm with several folks and am happy to pm with the good folks here ….Stevenson, thanks for taking the time to start this thread...you're a great guy! Go Blazers!
Kudos to you, man. I recently took a self imposed "vacation" from the boards. Yeah, I'd check in every now and then and read a few posts but I did not log in or post for one year...needless to say, I got a lot more things accomplished.
...and I hope your good health returns.
Sorry to hear you have left the forum. I always enjoyed your input here. I have learned a lot from you over the years. You will be missed around here. I understand though. I had to take a short break myself. There is lots of drama around here, especially with how the Blazers season has gone.
Also sorry to hear your ticker is giving you more issues. I send peaceful and positive thoughts your way man. Keep that heart beating. This world needs you in it.
Keen in touch via PM so I know you are ok
Well said Riv! The sad part is that the people who are driving the rest of us off are clueless as to just how obnoxious and off putting they are. But then, eventually they’ll be the only ones left. I just never had any idea just how many basketball (and political) geniuses there are in the forum.....you’d think they’d be running pro teams or coaching in the college ranks.....or running for office......with all the knowledge they profess to have and the lengths they go to to shove it down the throats of others. I suppose they are simply satisfied with the chubbies they sprout every time they pontificate their self important opinions.....it’s the only reasonable explanation I can come up with.....besides terminal immaturity.
Take care of yourself Greg and don’t let the forum knuckleheads get you down. They probably lose at the rest of life also. With the way things are going, I suspect there will be more of us trailing after you sooner rather than later........
Sad I won't see your takes around here anymore, man. Stay well and keep catching fish!
Denny Crane, MarAzul, riverman...it's starting to read like a Clinton hit list...
Each day here brings with it less options for intelligent conversation.
Hoping some music will help you heal, riverman.
@riverman good health to you and bountiful fishing on the river.
Your health is the most important thing for you, your family and friends so keep working on that. I knew you mentioned a short time ago that you were contemplating leaving as i have done a few times myself. Always enjoyed your input and i will definitely miss it, bbut soon might find myself following. God speed and good health to you. At our age it's important to concentrate on the things we enjoy.
Good luck my friend.
Man, can you just drop the political bull shit for once. There was no reason to bring your obsessive Clinton hatred into this discussion. For the sake of showing a little class i implore you to delete it
Gotta admit that the vibe around here has gotten to be very negative. Not sure if it’s the crappy season, the political divides in our country, or that we’re attracting more negative folks to the board lately. Probably it’s a mix of all of the above. I come here for fun and talk hoops. I’m less and less able to do either without generating too much heartburn. Several of the posters I have enjoyed over the years no longer seem to be active. I’m guessing that the positive folks get tired of the doom and gloom and are spending their time elsewhere. I’m sorry to see you leave, River. You’re one of the good ones and I will miss you. Take care of your health and enjoy life and, like you said, Go Blazers!
I hope your health issues all go away riverman! You’re a good dude and add a lot to the forum.
Your post wouldn't know class if it was held back three times. (Am I doing it right mods? )
While riverman and I had a few misunderstandings/miscommunications, and also some major differences of political opinion, we also share a love of music and agree on many other things. I always welcomed his enlightening threads and posts, as his honesty and courage in defending his views are becoming rarer and rarer on this board, and his views were developed from personal experiences and time spent in some countries I've never visited.
Lefties never stop trying to control everyone else's thoughts, actions, dreams and desires.
Please Don't Tell Me How to Grieve
By Melissa Blake 06/19/19
We are not taught how to grieve. Acknowledging that death is inevitable means that we have to come face-to-face with our own mortality and the mortality of everyone we love in this world. It's incredibly scary.
"Get over it."
"I've moved on. You need to move on too."
"Don't talk about that."
"What's wrong with you?"
When it comes to grief, everyone seems to be an expert.
We may not have life or death figured out, but life after death?
People know how to do that. Or at least they think they do.
According to them, there's only one right way to grieve:
Grief is universal. The way we experience it and process it, however, is not. To approach grief as if curing it were as easy as taking a pill is both irresponsible and insensitive.
And yet, there are still people who take it upon themselves to try and tell you how, where, and when you should grieve. Now, in the age of social media, the shoulds and should nots have only gotten stricter. Grieving online is perhaps the biggest no-no. Experts have even coined the term “grief police” to describe the trend of policing just how people grieve — telling them they're grieving too much or not enough.
And in the last six months, we’ve even seen this grief-shaming play out in the headlines. First, people criticized The View co-host Meghan McCain for talking too much about her late father Senator John McCain following his death. Then, following actor Luke Perry’s sudden death, online trolls criticized his daughter Sophie for seemingly doing too well and not grieving enough.
We get it: No matter how we grieve, people will have opinions about it. But it’s important to remember there is no “right” way to grieve, says Lauren Consul, a California-based licensed marriage and family therapist specializing in grief. Grief can be difficult to navigate because it’s not something our society is open about.
“We are not taught how to grieve. Acknowledging that death is inevitable means that we have to come face-to-face with our own mortality and the mortality of everyone we love in this world. It's incredibly scary,” said Consul. “Seeing someone who is grieving is a stark reminder that one day that will be us too. It's painful to think about, so people tend to avoid and downplay other people's grief. It can give a sense of control; if they can manage that person's grief, they don't have to think about their own.”
This grief policing is especially true when the death is unexpected, as was the case when my father died from suicide in 2003. I learned pretty quickly that talking about death on places like Facebook makes some people uncomfortable. We may be a society that lives our life online, but for all the sharing we do on social media, there’s still this stigma associated with posting about our grief and the loved ones we’ve lost. It feels like an unspoken rule of sorts: grieve in silence. Don’t talk about it. And, if you do talk about it, make sure you find just the right balance – not too much and not too little.
But here’s the thing about grieving: You’re never going to please everyone. You’re never going to grieve the “right” way because there is no right way to grieve. That’s something that took me a while to learn and understand. At first, I was afraid of what people would think or how they would view my grieving process, which included writing about my father’s suicide regularly on my blog. I even began to feel as though I needed to hold myself back and not talk about it, but you know what? That wasn’t good for me. In fact, it stalled my grieving process, and that wasn’t healthy.
Maybe that’s why I’m always thinking of what I’d like to say to the “grief police.” If I had the chance to sit down with them and have an honest conversation about the realities of figuring out your life after losing a loved one, here are four things I’d tell them:
My grief is not your grief. And your grief is not my grief.
Grief is perhaps one of the most intense and most confusing emotions we’ll ever feel. And even though a plethora of grief books line the self-help sections of bookstores and libraries, how we actually go through our grief is a very personal journey. The strategies and coping skills that work for some may not work for others. Grief is as individual as the person going through it. For every loss, there are a hundred more ways to grieve. There is no right way, no one size fits all. Grief is an individual journey and no one can tell us how to do it. We must find the way that works for us and not judge others because they may grieve differently.
Grieving is a journey – not a destination.
That sounds cliché, but it’s true. Grief has no timetable, no script, and definitely no shortcuts. It’s not as easy as getting from Point A to Point B because the grieving road is far from linear. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross may have outlined the five stages of grief, but it’s not uncommon to vacillate back and forth sometimes. Even 16 years after my father’s death, I find myself returning to emotions like anger every so often. It doesn’t mean that I’m still in the throes of deep grief, though; it just reminds me that the work of grief is never really done.
Sometimes, we just want people to listen.
Grief demands that we feel, think, process, reflect – over and over. And there are times that we need to give voice to those feelings as we process. To put words to our emotions. To try and make sense of everything that’s happened to us. Maybe that’s why my writing has been such a healing part of my grief. I’ve been able to put the unimaginable into words, even at times when those words were hard to come by.
Being there for someone during this time is a powerful thing. You don’t necessarily have to say anything. Trust me, your presence means more than you’ll ever know.
Not everyone wants to be “cured” from their grief.
People might be surprised to learn that I don’t want to “get over” my grief. There’s this misconception that you can easily move on, and that couldn’t be farther from the truth. As painful as some of these emotions are (hi, regret), I need to feel them. So while it’s tempting to listen and then try and offer advice to help us move on, I ask that you just listen. In the end, there are no magic words that will make everything better. We need to feel what we feel when we feel it — and feel it without judgment.
I’m always going to talk about my father, my grief and my journey. It’s all part of my life and my story. We each have to move through grief at our own pace and in a way that is comfortable for us. But that doesn’t mean that we can’t be there for each other — in a way that is comforting without being condescending, sensitive without shaming, and helpful without being harmful. That just might be the greatest gift we can ever give someone: a safe space to grieve and begin the healing process.
You aren't the only one that feels that way. I don't visit or engage nearly as much as I used to. Take care Riverman. You're already missed.
Speaking of missing posters. Where is Nikolokulus?
You are missed, that for sure! Take care Riverman, get out on the water!
Separate names with a comma.