[Semi-OT] The Lakers are an absolute Dumpster Fire and I am loving every second of it

Laker fans think Dalton Knecht will win rookie of the year. "He's basically a way better version of Jaquez Jr.".

 

if i said you are off your rocker claiming that is racism would you then claim im prejudice?
This right here is the problem. It gets in the way of calling out true racism.

Please go read the boy who cried wolf….

for fucks sake,…

 

Laker fans want Chicago to buyout LaVine & Vucevic, then ship them to Los Angeles for free.

 

Ah the LAL fans never seem to disappoint. I saw this jewel posted on their main forum:

Ingram to Utah

Kessler and Cam Johnson to Lakers

DLO + John Collins to Brooklyn

Schroeder + Bojan + Vanderbilt to NOP


So take our trash and give us your best! It's a logic I can't wrap my head around. Whoever invented the ESPN trade machine should be demoted.

 

the Lakers Nation podcaster is running solo. The other guy quit the show lolol. Even podcasters are jumping ship in Los Angeles.

anyways, the remaining Pelinka smoocher said the Pelicans are a "fringe" playoff team ?? Yaaa, suuuuure. Which means Brandon Ingram will demand a trade, and join the newly revamped super powered Lakers team.

 

"Lakers help <team X> rebuild..." is a line we've seen for YEARS.

 

In Los Angeles, the air is thick with smog, dreams, and the unbridled madness of Lakers fans, who, if given the chance, would trade their grandmother for a half-baked shot at another banner. Enter the first Laker fan, a hefty man with the physique of Dusty Rhodes and the bravado of Ric Flair. He’s nursing his third beer, his voice a raspy growl as he outlines his latest trade proposal. “Listen, man,” he slurs, “we send Deangelo Russel and a second-round pick to the Warriors, and we get Steph Curry. Easy money, baby!”

But this is just the tip of the iceberg. Another fan, sporting a Lakers jersey that’s seen better days, steps up to the plate. He’s got a face like a crumpled map and the zeal of a preacher at a tent revival. “What we need,” he declares, “is to package Austin Reaves for Kevin Durant. The Suns are desperate, man. They’ll take anything!” The crowd nods in unison, a sea of bobblehead dolls drunk on their own Kool-Aid.

It’s a fever dream, a carnival of absurdity where every trade idea is more outlandish than the last. These fans aren’t just drinking the piss and gold Kool-Aid; they’re guzzling it by the gallon, with no thought to the sugar-induced coma that surely awaits them. In their minds, every player in the NBA is just dying to don the Lakers jersey, to bask in the glory of LA’s eternal sunshine. Never mind the salary cap, never mind the logistics—these things are mere trifles in the grand scheme of Laker lore.

As the night wears on, the trade ideas get wilder, each one more detached from reality than the last. “Let’s get Giannis!” someone shouts from the back. “We’ll give them Bronny and some cash. Milwaukee’s a small market, they’ll jump at it!” The room erupts again, a chorus of agreement ringing out as the fans toast to their collective delusion. It’s as if Vince McMahon himself scripted this circus, each fan playing their part with the gusto of Shawn Michaels.

In the cold light of day, these trade ideas crumble like a house of cards in a hurricane. No GM in their right mind would entertain such nonsense, but that’s the beauty of being a Lakers fan: reality is a mere suggestion, a pesky detail to be ignored in the pursuit of greatness. They are the kings of their own universe, untethered from the harsh truths of the NBA landscape. Yet, for all their madness, there’s a certain charm to the whole affair. It’s a testament to the undying spirit of Laker Nation, their unwavering belief that anything is possible in the land of palm trees and movie stars. They are, in a sense, the ultimate showmen, living out their fantasies with the fervor of Trump eyeing a hostess ding dong.

So, here’s to you, Lakers fans. May your trade ideas continue to defy logic and reason. May you forever chase the ghosts of Magic and Kobe, the echoes of Showtime ringing in your ears. And may you always believe that the next big trade is just around the corner, waiting to bring another banner to the rafters of the Staples Center.

In the end, it’s all part of the show, the grand spectacle that is Lakers fandom. So, raise a glass, don your purple and gold, and dream on. After all, in the words of the immortal Ric Flair, “To be the man, you’ve gotta beat the man.” And in LA, the fans will always believe they’re just one trade away from being the man once more.

 

Sports Illustrated wrote a lengthy memo on the Lakers newest quest for talent.

today's special: Doug McDermott

"McDermott, 32, is an elite floor-spacer who would fit in well next to James and Anthony Davis."

Between all the analytical yada yada, I noticed something that wasn't "elite".

"The former Creighton product split time between the San Antonio Spurs and Pacers a year ago. He averaged 5.5 points, 0.9 rebounds, and 1.1 assists per game."

5/1/1 ?? c'mon Lakers, there's Pistons that put up better stats.

 

Lakers signed Quincy Olivari. Everyone in Los Angeles is excited. Pelinka moved heaven & earth to hire a 6'3" rookie shooting guard to an Exhibit-10 deal.

 

Locked on Lakers discussed benching D'Angelo Russell. Use him sparingly until the trade deadline. That way he will be zesty & fresh for the trade market when the Warriors trade Steph Curry for D-Lo.

"any GM (*wink wink) must have seen how well Steph & LeBron operated on Team USA, and go "wow, the Lakers should do that".

 

FAMS…..you want me to share some trade ideas from THIS place?

 

more exciting news for Lakers fans today. After tremendous advanced scouting and player recruiting enhancements, the Lakers signed G-League Center Kylor Kelley to an Exhibit-10 contract.

 

KD for Reaves is a good deal for Suns. They’re going nowhere with KD and Reeves is much younger with still some upside. Suns win that deal.

 

I'd add whether to buy a certain car or not as well.

 

Fucking comedy gold. Someone please put this post as a thread title so we can revisit it weekly. We can add the "Curry is Trash" posts as well.

 

No no no…… remember we were told all his posts….. he’s just joking.

 

By a Mod!

 

Warriors fans heard the commotion about Lakers wanting Steph Curry. So Dubs fans reprinted a fake trade rumor from last season. LeBron to Golden State for Andrew Wiggins and spare change.

 

Lakers owner Jeanie Buss has spoken.

"LeBron is our highest paid player, but he's still a bargain to me."

"We're in a salary cap league, there's only so much we can pay him"

"It's the same as Magic & Kobe, they probably should have been paid twice what they got. But we can only pay LeBron the maximum."

... soo the Lakers have a history of jacking their superstars salary?... cute

It sounds like she's putting her foot down on the idea to bring in a 3rd superstar.

The Lakers "bargain" team is what it is.